Again, I apologize to any who think I may be going overboard posting these letters, but I am hoping that I can help prepare others for the type of bombardment that they may face when dealing with mentally diseased witness parents who have no idea just how much control this cult has over them:
August 19, 2013
Dear <My Name Removed> & <My Wifes Name Removed>,
I had the privilege of attending the convention this weekend for a second time and I must say that I enjoyed it more than the first. It was wonderful! We see more & more evidence of Jehovah’s love for us, His provision of spiritual food, our brotherhood…….and counsel that helps us to be better people. We have much to thank Jehovah for.
This convention has made me realize that I must stop procrastinating and face some important issues. Some, I think are misunderstandings and others are things that affect our relationship with Jehovah and each other. This letter is being sent to you both because most of what must be addressed, affects us as family. There were talks at the convention about forgiveness and there was a symposium about apostasy. They greatly affected me & if you both were privileged to attend, I’m sure they had an impact on you, also. If you missed, please try to attend….don’t allow anything to prevent you.
First …… <My Wifes Name Removed>, I took offense at your response to my last correspondence and then promptly dismissed you from my mind. That was wrong. As we’re directed in Matthew 18:15, I should have responded promptly so that any misunderstanding could be corrected and I could “gain my sister”. At this convention, we were instructed not to allow these types of situations to drag on and not to keep rehashing them but rather be truly and promptly forgiving. We’re admonished to overlook offenses, if and when we can. If we can’t, we should not allow them to continue for long periods because bad feelings can develop. As Ephesians 4:26 tells us….. “Be wrathful, and yet do not sin; let the sun not set with you in a provoked state, 27 neither allow place for the Devil.” I should have followed that admonition rather than dismiss the incident. After all, what I said to you, was following Paul’s admonition at Titus 2:3,4…….” 3 Likewise let the aged women be reverent in behavior, ……., teachers of what is good; 4 that they may recall the young women to their senses.” As an older woman, as a spiritual mother, Jehovah expects me to reach out and assist my younger sisters, daughters….it’s the loving thing to do. When counsel is given to us, humility will cause us to listen and apply what’s needed. Even Jehovah has humility…..so what does that tell us?.......I can recall a Circuit Overseer giving a final talk at an assembly in N.J. (needs of the circuit). He said there was one congregation he had visited that had elders who could not accept counsel. They felt it was unjustified. But this brother gave a suggestion I will never forget. He said even if you think the person giving you counsel isn’t quite right or doesn’t know all the facts, don’t argue about it or dismiss it. Listen carefully, think about it for a week or two. Give yourself time to honestly think it over. You’ll probably find that it was needed. If after you have reflected on it and you feel it was unjustified, then go to the individual and respectfully explain why you feel the counsel didn’t apply.
A point that needs to be corrected at this stage…….never, did I mention your mother or sisters in a derogatory way in my letters. What was said is … “Those two sweethearts deserve to be able to experience loving grandparents. Especially grandparents that love and serve Jehovah. The scriptures help us appreciate the danger of bad association, no matter if it's an associate or family member. You take them to visit with worldly relatives at holiday time but don't want them to visit with grandparents and cousins that love and worship Jehovah?” That statement is copied from the letter sent to you. What you implied I said is completely off base. I also feel that what you said was very disrespectful and should not have come from a spiritual woman. Now, …..as Jesus instructed, I’ve “laid bare my fault”. Going forward, with Jehovah’s assistance, I’ll get over the anger and bad feelings. Some of that will depend on you. But however you respond, my actions will relate to the counsel we received at the convention. I hope that yours will also. You, <My Name Removed> & the children are constantly in our prayers. With the information we received, we are being helped to see that incidents such as these are happening more and more because the devil is angry, his time is short and he wants to cause division between us and Jehovah as well as separate us from each other. He wants us to forget the love Jesus said must be evident between us. I’ve always valued admonition given to me by older sisters and brothers, because I knew they cared about my spirituality. This system and the time we are living in has greatly affected many young ones. They refuse counsel and lash out at any who offer it. Our love for each other is sadly lacking among many of us, but I would hope that within our family that won’t continue to be an issue.
<My Name Removed>…….When I began this letter today, I had no idea I’d see you. However, seeing you today sort of changes the direction of my letter. You cut your beard way down. You didn’t completely remove it now that your skin is better. You like your beard, you said. Well……………………..
Your dad & I keep you constantly in our prayers. You’re in my wakening prayer and my prayer before I go to sleep. Throughout the day, we constantly think & talk about you. One day last week when I came home your dad was in another of his depressed moods and he said something made him think of you as a little tyke in N.C. when you did something wrong and ran through the house yelling save me! Save me! He said he remembered how we laughed about it and it made him start to cry he said because now you really need to be saved. But what can we do <My Name Removed>, when it’s not what you want? You seem to avoid coming around when I’m home and I noticed today you tried to stay out of my space. That’s okay. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, I just want you to serve Jehovah as He asks you to do. To bring up those two beautiful children to know and love our Heavenly Father.
You know, you weren’t a baby that was planned for. You were a surprise. I had been sick with the flu and just as I thought I was recovering, I had what I thought was a relapse. I couldn’t eat, I vomited everything, even water. I went down to 89 pounds!! When the doctor said I didn’t have the flu anymore, but was pregnant, I was shocked!! Your dad & I had just started working, we had no insurance and the last thing we could afford was another baby. The doctor of course didn’t know any of that, but what he did know was that physically, I was not in the best condition and I looked like a skeleton…89 pounds! I’ll never forget what he said…..his words were ….in this day & time, women shouldn’t suffer in pregnancy as I was, nor do they need to. Because of my condition, he recommended that I have an abortion. I quickly told him that I would never consider such a thing. Besides, every time I got pregnant, I got sick like that, although I never lost that much weight before. It was a bad pregnancy like my others, but Mom sent me supplements to build me up and I carried you almost full term (8 months). I had natural childbirth with you so I was fully awake for the entire event, which made you all the more special. Sister ******* had lost her baby and always wanted to take you home which made me appreciate you even more. You were a special little boy. So smart and bright, eager to learn and keep up with your brother & sister. And you were such a “country child”. I find myself thinking of old memories, funny memories, revolving around you. Yet still, I feel so sad and depressed. Finally, I understood why,… I was sub-consciously preparing myself to lose you. I had the same feeling when the doctor told me my mother didn’t have long to live. It’s such a heavy, unbearable pain <My Name Removed>. I hope you never have to experience it. All of us who love you are going through a bad period. Many years ago, I went through something similar with <My Sisters Name Removed> and I prayed to Jehovah to take away some of the emotion and feeling I had, so that at the end of this system I wouldn’t lose my life like Lot’s wife did, looking back. I’m so thankful to Jehovah that <My Sisters Name Removed> finally made the truth her own. I don’t want to pray that about you <My Name Removed>. I want us all to be together in paradise. How will I tell Mom that you left Jehovah’s organization?
The course you are taking isn’t new and has again shown itself, which is why we had the symposium on apostasy. I wish you would come listen to it. (from my notes & recorder)….For human apostates 1 John 2:19 shows that apostates come from among us. Usually they take a stand against the organization because they have been counseled about something. As a result, they pridefully resent the counsel, become bitter and jealous and in the end, reject the counsel. They reject Jehovah’s service, field ministry and don’t try to make disciples, rather they try to draw away disciples of Jesus. As a result the scriptures tell us to avoid them. Romans 16:17,18 “Now I exhort YOU, brothers, to keep your eye on those who cause divisions and occasions for stumbling contrary to the teaching that YOU have learned, and avoid them.” It was further mentioned that these ones speak against Jehovah’s servants all the while claiming to serve God. Jude 8… “these men, too, ……. are defiling the flesh and disregarding lordship and speaking abusively of glorious ones.” It was brought out that these ones despise Jehovah’s authority because they speak against the C.O.’s, Governing body members, elders, all who represent Jehovah’s authority. We must avoid them as Romans shows because not listening can be fatal to our spiritual health.
I’ve re-read all the letters we exchanged, there were quite a few. I’ve appealed to you in so many ways, I don’t know what’s left. Your reasoning is affected by something. Were you counseled by someone <My Name Removed> because of a shortcoming and resented the counsel? Could you perhaps, have something in your home hindering Jehovah’s spirit? Or, could your thyroid have affected your reasoning? Don’t reject that thought because an unbalanced thyroid can cause you to think terrible things and it can also negatively affect your reasoning. Your dad told me all those things you discussed at <My Sisters Name Removed>’s last week and I just didn’t know which way to think.
Please <My Name Removed>, ask Jehovah to remove this thinking from your heart and mind. If you get upset………sorry, but until I take my last breath I’ll do all I can to help you until you have put yourself beyond our help. I won’t take away my loyalty from Jehovah and the channel of communication He’s using today. I wish you could have heard Brother Splane of the governing body give the final talk. He said to us, remember, we have always been called Bible students, because we are always learning. So if we learn something new <My Name Removed>……apply it. Don’t reject it. That’s it. I’m not going to repeat all the things I’ve said in previous letters. But, please, go back and read them. Let Jehovah into your heart and mind. Please don’t leave us <My Name Removed>. We love you.