After being a witness for 40 years, I now find myself disfellowshipped.
I have had a number of doubts for a few years now, but still feel as if I'm living my life in the "T minus " to Armageddon Spector.
My parents are in their 80's and my dear mother is in very bad health. I was allowed to pop through - about once a month to make sure my parents were ok and for them to see their grandchildren. This all ended after the July Watchtower article and especially since the district convention - with all the "counsel" on associating with disfellowshipped family members.
Around 6 weeks ago, my dad asked me point blank why I wasn't trying to get reinstated. I told him I was concerned about a number of issues (child abuse was one...)
He then asked me point blank "do you accept the teachings of the faithful slave?" I said "I have my doubts". To cut a long story short, he told me to leave and that he never wants to see me again until I return to Jehovah. And he means it.
No phone calls, no emails. Nothing.
This has really caused me some real sleepless nights and an aching heart. I simply can't cope.
I know my mother goes to a hairdressers which is not far from where my local supplier of computer parts is. Something told me to pop in to see her today. She has went there for years and goes the same time every week. Today she wasn't there. I asked where she was and the owner said that she hasn't been for a few weeks, that my father called to cancel her appointment two weeks ago, saying she was too ill to go. The manager looked at me as if I was daft. She naturally presumed I would have known that my mother had taken ill !!
I am really, really struggling to handle this. I would have thought that the "necessary family business" act would have kicked in by now, but I have heard nothing.
This whole situation is starting to really affect my thinking straight. I was at a d.i.y store looking for some superglue. (This is honest) I saw a large tub of "evo stick" - and felt like buying it and POURING IT ALL OVER THE KINGDOM HALL SHUTTERS, FRONT AND BACK.
Any suggestions?