Posts by OnTheWayOut

8

Fade..... or this?

by Giordano in

there are four ways to leave the 'truth'...... alive............you can be disfellowshiped...... then shunned, you can formally disassociate yourself and be shunned........ you can fade.

the first two words belong to the society, fade on the other hand is defined as 'to gradually grow faint and disappear.

' 'walking away' has it's own negative connotation about one's commitments and relationships.. i think some folks feel uncomfortable with these words.

I faded fast over less than a year, but have suggested that some try to leave faster if they either have no family reason to hang around or if they may retain such family anyway. It might also be that those with a JW spouse and children they hope to get out of the cult should try leaving faster.

I suggest many try to just leave all at once without any slow reduction of activity. It can't always be done and keep loved ones' communication too. But it is something to consider.

That might be a huge disconnect or "disengage" move.

28

What do I do ?

by jdash in

hey guys, this is my first time posting on here but lets get started.. so i'm a 17 year old boy who currently attends meetings at a congregation in indianapolis.

i live with my grandparents, on my father's side, because my mother died in 2010. i been attending meetings since i was 10. my mother got into the religion but then got disfellowshiped.

my dad is on and off, he currently just got reinstated.

OnTheWayOut

If you are a junior, you have this entire year and half of 2019 in high school. You need a stable home environment for the next 18 months. You might really need to move slowly on the disassociation thing. Life at home as a JW might be miserable, but life at home as a DA'ed JW could be worse than barely doing the minimum. I know that, to a seventeen year old, that seems like "forever" but it really isn't that long.

And I know it's tough to have all kinds of people in your life who are JW's and contemplate losing their friendship/contact. Before such a thing happens, you have to have a chance to develop outside friends. If you think 18 months of pretending is long, it is going to seem like an eternity if you are severely restricted all the time and have nobody talking to you among the people you are allowed to be around.

This is the link to the 4th Annual Midwest Apostafest- a gathering near Indianapolis in the summer of 2017:
https://www.facebook.com/events/381343342244843/

28

What do I do ?

by jdash in

hey guys, this is my first time posting on here but lets get started.. so i'm a 17 year old boy who currently attends meetings at a congregation in indianapolis.

i live with my grandparents, on my father's side, because my mother died in 2010. i been attending meetings since i was 10. my mother got into the religion but then got disfellowshiped.

my dad is on and off, he currently just got reinstated.

OnTheWayOut

Then maybe consider doing the bare minimum. Don't resign and say you will get "some" recruiting work in- an hour a month of not really trying.

That just works for 11 months. You need to plan long term. Are you graduating high school this year? What next? You can go for scholarships, but you need a place to live.

Also, there is a great picnic just south of Indianapolis in August. I will link you to it on a post soon.

10

(Not?) Hypnotized

by TerryWalstrom in

jw
friends

what you are about to read i've never told anyone before.. why?

because it is mysterious.. mostly because it is a bit like the corner of your eye.

you see movement there but you won't be reciting any eye chart letters.what you read next is sort of like that.i don't like to be vague.

OnTheWayOut

In other words, my Monorails of Mars is a book only meant for me to read---a message from my mind--for me alone.

I won't interfere then. Let us know, in some long story, what you think of it if you ever read it.

I am pretty sure these stories are fictions. Keep trying.

20

Best way to deal with anger at the GB while waking up?

by CovertsadJW in

good morning everyone , .

i am wondering how people have personally delt with the anger at the gb when waking up and realizing it’s a scam, lie , and it’s awfully depressing .

i have had difficulty concentrating at work , have had an emotional roller coaster between okay days and awful days.

OnTheWayOut

Buy that book, EXITING THE JW CULT. It is written by an exJW turned therapist. I wish I found it when I was angry.

20

Best way to deal with anger at the GB while waking up?

by CovertsadJW in

good morning everyone , .

i am wondering how people have personally delt with the anger at the gb when waking up and realizing it’s a scam, lie , and it’s awfully depressing .

i have had difficulty concentrating at work , have had an emotional roller coaster between okay days and awful days.

OnTheWayOut

I posted this on your other thread, but I had not seen this thread yet:

I went to counseling. Some have suggested marriage counseling on [your other] thread. Sure, sounds great. I doubt your wife would want to go, knowing the JW forced thinking on worldly counselors. So that leaves telling her "we" are going to a marriage counselor then going without her if she refuses, or just telling her you are going to a counselor for yourself.

And yes, I get that it is not practical financially for everyone. We don't all have the insurance or the money to go to regular counseling. My insurance did cover most of it. I also discovered later, this excellent book that will help- EXITING THE JW CULT by Bonnie Zieman.
(https://www.amazon.com/EXiting-JW-Cult-Handbook-Witnesses/dp/1508477132 ) Whether you go to counseling or not, consider that book. There's a kindle version you can get without anyone seeing a print book in the mail.

57

What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time

by CovertsadJW in

good afternoon , .

i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.

i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.

OnTheWayOut

What do you do about the anger that one experiences when waking up. Anger of being lied to for decades, anger about wasting allot of time on nonsense.

I went to counseling. Some have suggested marriage counseling on this thread. Sure, sounds great. I doubt your wife would want to go, knowing the JW forced thinking on worldly counselors. So that leaves telling her "we" are going to a marriage counselor then going without her if she refuses, or just telling her you are going to a counselor for yourself.

And yes, I get that it is not practical financially for everyone. We don't all have the insurance or the money to go to regular counseling. My insurance did cover most of it. I also discovered later, this excellent book that will help- EXITING THE JW CULT by Bonnie Zieman. ( https://www.amazon.com/EXiting-JW-Cult-Handbook-Witnesses/dp/1508477132 ) Whether you go to counseling or not, consider that book. There's a kindle version you can get without anyone seeing a print book in the mail.

38

Goodbye my friends.

by StephaneLaliberte in

jw
friends

for almost 12 years now, i have been coming to this site on a regular basis and in the last 5, i “faded out”.

i never regretted this and never will.

unfortunately though, yesterday, i realized that, until i can publically tell all my old acquaintances why i have left, i will never be truly free.

OnTheWayOut

I will gladly debate with a stranger. I hope to help him/her to have more freedom of mind.
I truly would love to help my mother, my wife, my in-law family, and anyone I ever met as JW's to have more freedom of mind.

But when it comes to Jehovah's Witnesses, I recognize that you just can't club them on the head. Talking to a brick wall would feel better because you could imagine you got through to the wall. Not so much with JW's.

I have taken my occasional break from this forum. And outside of this forum, I have virtually nothing to do with active JW's. I am not reading their stuff, I only dabble in their videos a wee bit when this forum taunts me enough to do so. My wife says nothing about the current goings on in the organization, I barely find out through her schedule change when she is being visited by the C.O..

Do what is best for you. Walk away from as much as you need to for as long as you need to.

52

New to the truth

by MatthewHewey in

jw
friends

i have been meeting with member's of the kingdom hall, and i have attended a few times now on sundays.

i'd like to discuss experiences with this group since i'm new.

so far, i love it.

OnTheWayOut

He he he. I am sure they "love bombed" you. (Read https://scottleblog.wordpress.com/category/love-bombing/ )

After a time with them, if they feel you are enjoying their company, they will tell you something about that nose piercing to try to make you feel guilty about it. They may even suggest ways to hide the tattoos. They will slowly attempt to morph you into one of them.

Remember that we said so.

60

Jesus fulfilling old testament prophecies like his legs not being broken

by Isambard Crater in

what are everyone's thoughts on this, how his legs weren't broken, he was pierced with a spear and he wore a thorny crown?.

i'm pimo and very much not wanting to believe, but like the daniel statue prophecies, these ones about jesus stick in my mind and give me "hmmm, maybe" moments..

OnTheWayOut

Okay okay okay.

I will get back on track with the opening post and the problem there, and at the same time try to satisfy myelaine's questions.

I had to go back and look for the questions. Here they are

Do you deny that jerusalem society was greatly and irreversibly impacted by a noteable person of jewish descent in the 1st century? (A luminary, so to speak)

Do you deny that it is that same person who was essentially responsible for gentile interest or belief in the God of the OT?

I do indeed deny that Jerusalem society was greatly impacted by a noteable person of Jewish descent if you imply that person was Jesus Christ.
There is absolutely no evidence that such a person existed at that time and he was written about long after that time. The Jesus that Paul first wrote about was a mystical figure with no clear human history.

Movements to follow several mystical gods started and Jesus won out. I am sure at least one particular person will say that is for the reason that Jesus was real. I don't go along with that. And even if he was a real person, that doesn't mean he was a god, God's son, or in any way more than a man like many of the others trying to start a following. Stories about him written long after his life could easily be completely fictional even if they are based on an actual human.

The great impact upon the Jews at that time was the end of their way of life because of the conflict with Rome.

I think knowing where I stand firmly on this will tell why I won't bother with more arguments with those that are so set that "of course it was all real."