Posts by OnTheWayOut

111

Is he interested?

by Sunnybear in

i met a wonderful man on match.com several months ago.

on our first date, there was amazing chemistry and we ended up having sex.

it was not planned, it just happened.

OnTheWayOut

I am frustrated because I feel like I am ready for a relationship but there is nobody there to fill the role. Where is my Mr. Right? I am 35 and most of my friends are married and/or engaged or in serious relationships and I don't understand why I am not finding someone also.
The JW guy I am dating is the first guy who was even someone who had his life together. He and I are supposed to get together tonight. Dinner and a movie. I am going to be honest and say after reading all of these threads, I kind of want to cancel with him.
But I kind of don't.
I either need to end it completely and walk away or open up my dating accounts again and just accept that he and I don't have a future and just kind of hang out with him until something better comes along.

I have no problems with just hanging around and having fun. But you know good and well you are invested in him and it won't allow you to move on if you stay there. Plus, a good friend said "If you hang out in barber shops, you are probably going to get haircuts." You want to stay around a JW who would love for you to be a JW, you probably will do it just for him.

Edited to add: This forum dropped my other comments. I appreciated you being so open and honest. I hope it helps you. Keep in mind that because of the JW issues, you cannot catch up with your friends on marriage and relationships with this guy. He already said he wasn't that guy for you. But then you sort of think he is, and have indicated that becoming a JW might make him that guy for you.

NO. You will be expected to confess your sleeping with him early on, to the elders. They will tell you to stop seeing him, probably to shun him. That's the only way you could become a JW. Or if you do not confess and actually get baptized into the cult, then he will probably confess when he tries to get back- a whole new mess for both of you. Or if both of you never confess, he gets reinstated and you are a baptized cult member, then the religion will make you feel guilty about what you did.

131

Do Jehovah's Witnesses Accept Evolution?

by jukief in

by evolution or by creation?

"the bible is a myth" and "evolution is true".

OnTheWayOut

Do Jehovah's Witnesses Accept Evolution?

NO!

Some people claim that JWs reject the Theory of Evolution in favor of the Bible's creation account in Genesis.

WELL, THEY DON'T!

They may have said that "evolution" takes place, but that it never allows an animal of "a kind" to become another "kind."

111

Is he interested?

by Sunnybear in

i met a wonderful man on match.com several months ago.

on our first date, there was amazing chemistry and we ended up having sex.

it was not planned, it just happened.

OnTheWayOut

We had a long discussion last night and he told me that if I became a JW he would be more open to the possibility of having a future with me, but at the same time he told me that he does not want me to become a JW just to get closer to him. He again suggested I meet with his mom and another sister from the church to discuss the contents of the booklet he gave me.

Okay, I am not a psychologist, but that's some kind of reverse psychology or passive aggressiveness or something like that. "Don't become a JW for me, but if you do become one it would be wonderful for you and me."

He wants you to meet with his mother because that's what JW's do- introduce the woman to a JW woman to study the JW books with them and start them to becoming a JW. It's his mother because he is disfellowshipped and doesn't want someone else telling you to avoid him- a bad JW.
(I am not judging. Most people on this forum are 'bad JW's.' I am really talking from the religion's point of view that he is one.)

The guy is using you for some normal life while he is kicked out. He figures he can have a normal life before he goes back. Normal would include sex and dating and all that good stuff that normal people do. If he wasn't wanting you to study the religion, it could work out that normal stuff makes him get out of that CULT (and it is a dangerous mind control cult). But HE IS WANTING YOU TO BECOME A JW, so that means he is trouble. RUN AWAY!!!!

When I have tried to end it with him in the past, I will be honest and say he does "turn up the charm." He will say that he refuses to allow us to end things and then he will be more aggressive about pursuing me (taking me to fancy dinners, texting/calling more often, pouring on the I love you's, etc.). After one disagreement about our relationship status, he asked me out twice in one week~ and paid both times.

Sure. But so what? End it. If you like the dinners and attention and whatever else, but understand that you don't get more unless you join a cult, then don't end it. I don't know what else to say about that. It won't work out no matter what. At some point, you will be encouraged to become a JW and you will be made to feel guilty about the casual premarital sex and you will get disfellowshipped if you say something down the road, or you will both confront these issues and you will get married after you become a JW and live the strict cult life.

Either that, or RUN AWAY!!! I get the feeling you won't. So say you will never be a JW, don't need to study it, enjoy the sex and attention and one day he will leave you to go back to his cult.

Here's the only compromise that works for your good- tell him why you love him and why you haven't left him, but say you will leave him so he can go back to the religion. Tell him to look you up in a few months if he ultimately decides to never go back to the Witnesses. Tell him you need to see a letter by him to the JW elders saying that he loves someone who he is having relations with and never intends to hurt her by going back. Then deliver/mail that letter for him- do not let him say he will mail it. If all that cannot happen, it never will work out.

You should definitely already know the answers to "Would he help me if I got a flat tire? If I got the flu would he volunteer to walk my dog and buy me ginger-ale?" He probably would. I would do that for a friend, but that whole JW factor comes into play if he ever decides to go back to that cult.

20

Thanks, but no thanks!

by FadeToBlack in

that was essentially my reply to a recent sms i got from the elder of the group i am supposed to be in, requesting a visit to encourage me and get to know me better.

my wife has been attending english language meetings in warsaw for the last year or so (i have never been) and i think they are getting antsy about where i stand.

i've met many of them at events my wife hosted at our house, but so far nobody has pressed me on the issue of my inactivity.. at one of the events, an elder mentioned that he'd heard i 'had been' a jw for many years and he was curious what first attracted me to the org.

OnTheWayOut

Thanks but no thanks. Right answer always. Good for you.

32

CO working at Walmart

by the girl next door in

it just took me by surprise.

i remember him from a decade or so ago.

he came up with gems like, “weddings are for women, they are not necessary.” also, “if you want to be truly happy, marry an ugly woman.”.

OnTheWayOut

I think it is just such a shame that WTS doesn't have a plan for their "Family" of workers.

So sorry, out the door with you. Try Walmart.

7

Akward moment.

by poopie in

jw
friends

have a buddy that's disgellowshi and an uber driver and he is shunned like crazy.

recently he picked up jw that was forced to say hello and greet him akward..

OnTheWayOut

The clients should be the ones to do something about this. They should not get into his car, and let the consequences be their pride in Jehovah.

26

Im Writing An Ex-JW Self Help Book

by pale.emperor in

we all know waking up from the cult and trying to leave is a very scary and life changing experience.

for many it's traumatic and few find the transition easy.

we have to deal with families cutting us off entirely or keeping us at arms length at best, lies being told about us by the organization, ex members gossiping about us and finding ourselves in a world very different from what we're prepared for.. for this reason, i've decided to start writing a self-help book informing jws of what to expect when they leave the org.

OnTheWayOut

What Follows When You Are AWAKE! From Watchtower

29

Please explain!

by Freedom rocks in

hi please can someone explain this in laymans terms for me coz i be ever got it as a jw and still don't.

it doesn't make sense to me.

bible chronology indicates that god’s kingdom was established in heaven in 1914. this is shown by a prophecy recorded in chapter 4 of the bible book of daniel.. overview of the prophecy.

OnTheWayOut

Hi please can someone explain this in laymans terms for me ....

Not really. You get it pretty good. It doesn't really make sense when you break it down. Here's the closest I ever came to "laymans terms" :

A dream in the book of Daniel is supposed to have a second fulfillment indicating the time period when Jesus starts his rule on the earth, allegedly the year 1914. That is based on their claims of when events started before that dream took place and when they must come to an end by applying an unrelated rule from some other unrelated part of the Bible.

Really, it was worked backwards to come up with the long complicated current doctrine. But they already had chosen 1914. Originally, Charles Taze Russell believed that Christ had returned invisibly in 1874, and that he had been ruling from the heavens since that date. He predicted that a period known as the "Gentile Times" would end in 1914 (which was "one generation" of 40 years past 1874), and that Christ would take power of Earth's affairs at that time. He interpreted the outbreak of World War I as the beginning of Armageddon. He thought this would mark both a gradual deterioration of civilized society, and a climactic multi-national attack on a restored Israel accompanied by worldwide anarchy.

You can wiki search for "The Great Disappointment" and "Charles Taze Russell" to see the beginnings of these ideas. But the current doctrine was developed to support 1914 after the end of the world did not happen. They pulled silly Bible rules out of whatever they needed to arrive at 1914.

111

Is he interested?

by Sunnybear in

i met a wonderful man on match.com several months ago.

on our first date, there was amazing chemistry and we ended up having sex.

it was not planned, it just happened.

OnTheWayOut

This guy will only be happy if he converts you to JW. Run away! Run away!

If he is clingy and you feel he will be difficult to get rid of, then do as fastjehu says and meet with his mom just to tell her about the sex and all.

He is breaking their rules by seeing you. He is extremely breaking their rules by having sex outside of marriage, and each time adds to his guilt. I am okay with two people doing what they want, but Jehovah's Witnesses are not okay with that. He will only have a "relationship" if you become a Jehovah's Witness, and that's a doomsday cult that uses coercive mind control. Run away! Run away!

26

Im Writing An Ex-JW Self Help Book

by pale.emperor in

we all know waking up from the cult and trying to leave is a very scary and life changing experience.

for many it's traumatic and few find the transition easy.

we have to deal with families cutting us off entirely or keeping us at arms length at best, lies being told about us by the organization, ex members gossiping about us and finding ourselves in a world very different from what we're prepared for.. for this reason, i've decided to start writing a self-help book informing jws of what to expect when they leave the org.

OnTheWayOut

Hey, that's awesome. Writing was very important to my self-help.
I wish you well, look forward to reading it.