Thanks, but no thanks!

by FadeToBlack 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • FadeToBlack

    That was essentially my reply to a recent SMS I got from the elder of the group I am supposed to be in, requesting a visit to encourage me and get to know me better. My wife has been attending English language meetings in Warsaw for the last year or so (I have never been) and I think they are getting antsy about where I stand. I've met many of them at events my wife hosted at our house, but so far nobody has pressed me on the issue of my inactivity.

    At one of the events, an elder mentioned that he'd heard I 'had been' a JW for many years and he was curious what first attracted me to the org. I spouted some nonsense about the wonderful caring people I had met and then went back to my duties at the grill. I have not DA'd because I didn't want to make things anymore difficult for my wife - she enjoys having 'the friends' over for social occasions and I doubt that would happen if I was an official apostate. I told her it would be better if they just viewed me as spiritually weak.

    I also added in my brief reply, that I would call him if and when I felt the need for such a visit.

  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    Well done FTB. Stay under their radar by saying nothing except, "deeply private & personal things I have to deal with."

    There aren't many things which Elders hate more than someone refusing to disclose personal information.

  • ToesUp

    Great response on your part. I agree with The Fall Guy...Elders hate it when you don't "confide" to them why you no longer attend. They are told over and over again that they are "Jesus' right hand men, princes, given double honor." They just can't fathom why you won't talk to them. lol

    The less you say, the better. It will keep them off of your back. The old game of cat and dead mouse. ha ha. The cat will loose interest in the mouse when the mouse no longer responds.

    We have done this for years and it works like a charm!!!!

  • FadeToBlack

    yes ToesUp and The Fall Guy - I think that is some of the best advice I have seen dished out here. Be polite, blow them off, get on with your life. My wife is a very liberal JW, so I think if they start to pump her too hard for info, she will simply tell them to back off. She is all in still, but it is mostly a social thing for her. She openly disagrees with many policies, for example shunning.

  • neat blue dog
    neat blue dog

    Just beware of giving away your location here if you want to lay low.

  • Giordano

    As Eric Hoffer said in the True Believer

    "The true believer is apt to see himself as one of the chosen, the salt of the earth, the light of the world, a prince disguised in meekness, who is destined to inherit this earth and the kingdom of heaven, too. He who is not of his faith is evil; he who will not listen shall perish."

    I think this is an apt description of most Elders.

    Good job on defecting him.
  • FadeToBlack

    I hear you 'neat blue dog' but I'm not trying to hide. My big advantage is I have no other family members who are JW's other than my wife, so they have no leverage on me.

  • scotsman

    Wise move. When it comes to controlling your fade, less is more.

  • FadeToBlack

    @Giordano: probably accurate in some cases, but to be honest I have with a few exceptions, had a mostly good experience in the congregations I was a part of over 30 years as a JW. I guess I was lucky (can I say that?). But, it just wasn't 'the truth'. My mistake. I just want to spend whatever time I have left (not much) doing things that I want to do (or not do).

  • scratchme1010

    Great way dealing with them. Now, if they would just go away...

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