Posts by cyberguy

70

This Past Sunday My Wife Took Me To The Elders!

by enlightenedcynic in

early sunday morning, around 1:30 a.m., my wife wakes me and says that she can't sleep and needs to talk with me.

i say ok and she proceeds to tell me that she wants a seperation.

i was hurt, but not shocked, because our relationship is not that close at this point after 14 yrs of marriage.

cyberguy

Well, enlightendcynic, I’m sorry! I don’t know how else to begin this comment, because I can feel some of the pain that has surfaced from your post!

Although I’m not obviously aware of all the circumstances, I’d try and stay together with your wife for your kid’s sake. I know that may be asking a lot! And I don’t know how old your kids are, but for their sake you might want to “stay together,” although this may require enduring incredible pressure from your wife. I’m sorry!

Some advice, rather than poke at the many false teachings of the WT, what there are many, I’d suggest staying off the religious-stuff for a while, change the subject of a while, and just start talking to your wife about why you got married to her in the first place. Perhaps you can ask her what she found so attractive in you that she wanted to be your wife when you were younger; why you wanted to be her best friend, and she yours. Tell her that you still love her (I assume deep-down you still do).

Regarding religious views and trying to correct your wife’s thinking, this may take some time. Try and be patient with her, because she is in reality as much a victim of the WT as you are! True? So please, show some empathy. Maybe you need some time off by yourself for a week or two, and/or maybe she needs the same. Can either of you visit your folks to just away from each other for a little bit, to clear the air? On the other hand, what activities outside JW’s do you actually do? As a couple? As a family? Why isn’t your wife no longer your best friend (and I know her religious stance is difficult to deal with)?

Finally, rather than abandon what you and your wife have built up over the years, why through all of it all away now? Who you are, and this applies to your wife and kids too, is not determined by relationship with the JW-system, but who you are as a person. This concept is hard to realize when you’ve been led-along in the JW-system for some time, under the control of a cult-like mindset, but I think you need to sort this out first. Then, you can begin to address issues with your immediate family.

I wish you the best in making the right choices my friend, although I can see from your post that you’re struggling. My heart goes out to you! God bless, and I wish the best for you and yours!

Cyber

16

arwen's disassociation letter June 8, 2006

by arwen in

jw
friends

june 8, 2006. .

dear .

there are many things that i could say....many true accounts that i could attest to of unjust acts done to people and inexcusable sufferings caused by many in the congregations of jehovah's witness to others, at times by myself as well sadly, but there is nothing anyone can do now to make up for the wrongs that have been done to those that have been hurt....leave it in jehovah's hands that is what i have been told by those in charge., this has always been the answer....so i will do just that knowing that he will repay those who have treated others so badly and that continue to do so.

cyberguy

Hugs arwen!

My heart goes out to you! There are a lot of people in the same boat as you, many on this board. I hope you’ve been able to find support from close friends and/or family that are aware of your circumstances and that can uplift you during this transition period. Take care, and God bless!

Cyber

4

Advice for a never been dating an XJW

by ColdRedRain in

jw
friends

as some of you may know on this forum, i've found a new girlfriend.

she pretty much understands the fact that i have asperger's and some of my behaviors would be weird, but i need her to understand some of my behaviors that are due to me being a jw.

my jw related psychological trauma includes a physically and emotionally abusive childhood, an emotionally abusive family and lots of guilt from me scaring people because of my mannerisms that they simply didn't understand.

cyberguy

Hey dude,

Rather than give advice to her, I think you might need a little steering. You will simply scare her away if you bring up the JW-stuff in too much detail IMHO; I wouldn’t bring up too many details until she gets to know you better. Remember, you as a person, are not defined by your relationship with the JW’s, their unique teachings, or “organization.” That’s history now! Purge it!

Also, do I understand that she also has Asperger Syndrome? Then you won’t have to explain too much to her about that, and yes, you may find mutual understanding if this be the case. However, I’m wondering if your Asperger Syndrome symptoms are the result of stunted or perverse development being raised a JW. Your communication skills, judging from your posts on this board, would suggest otherwise, but I’m not a doctor. However, I’ve seen a few physically-sound young people, but totally messed-up with Asperger-like symptoms in my life. Assuming you can afford it, please seek medial help. I really worry about people like because (as mentioned in other posts) of your severe depression. With regard to this, please refrain from attending JW-meetings! You’re only causing more damage on already damaged “goods.” I know your mom probably means well, but she is harming you immensely by insisting your attendance.

Anyway, ColdRedRain, I wish you the best my friend with life and relationships, including this new one! You sound like a very fine, good person, but really screwed-up in JWism.

Sincerely,

Cyber

24

Lonely newbie who is glad to be here

by DesertRat in

jw
friends

i was directed to this site by a very kind ex-witness who runs a christian ministry in california.

there are no words to express how thankful i am to be here.. here is what i hope (key word) will be an abbreviated version of my story: i am 35 years old, single, the only child of jw parents who had already spent over ten years in various watchtower capacities (two of those years as gilead missionaries in guatemala) before i was born.

my father was diagnosed with brain cancer when i was 11 and finally succumbed, after a valiant fight, when i was 14. among the first doubts or questions i remember having was how a god of 'love' could just passively ignore the persecution (malawi!!!

cyberguy

WELCOME DesterRat! Glad you found this place! Thanks for sharing your experience!

26

Awake! 1969 May 22 p.15 -- not on any CD Library that I possess.

by Schizm in

jw
friends

truthseeker posted the following quote, here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/114458/2002789/post.ashx#2002789.

i attempted to verify the quote by referring to the society's library, which i possess.

in fact i posess the 1997, 2004, and 2005 libraries.

cyberguy

Hey Leolaia, I’ve got “God's Kingdom of a Thousand Years Has Approached” book on my CD of 2003! Was in taken off in the 2005 edition?

3

JWs are planning on Inviting every one in Richmond...

by Priest73 in

jw
friends

great (note the sarcasm.

) .

http://www.timesdispatch.com/servlet/satellite?pagename=rtd/mgarticle/rtd_basicarticle&c=mgarticle&cid=1149188215810

cyberguy

Thanks for this! I guess my family will be doing this "grand work!" I wonder if all the JW-districts were instructed to do this 3-week activity?

20

Young witness disfellowshipped for having a mental illness

by What-A-Coincidence in

jw
friends

this is was very hard swallow.

i know of a family who has suffered tremendously when their son (15) came down with a mental illness - he cuts himself, has intended suicide 5 times.

he hard a hard time dealing with so many issues that he at one point told the elders i don't want to have anything to do with the jehovah's.

cyberguy

How sad! What's happening now with this person? Is there any way you can help him now?

Mental illness is part and parcel with the JW-system. When I was an elder, we visited a mental ward where 4 JW’s were. 25+% of all JW's are on some kind of dope for depresson in the western world I believe (judging from my experience, but no hard evidence except for the congo's I was in). The JW-system produces people with very grave mental problems. My brother (an elder), wife (an elderese), and one of his kids (of 3) are all medicated for depression! He no longer talks to me because I poked his worship of the “O” and GB! I wish you the best on your journey my friend! PLEASE find your way out of the cult!

94

Saturday District Convention notes: Don't research JW's online!!!!

by truthseeker in

jw
friends

with two thirds of my sentence complete, i am almost ready for parole.. there was some unbelievable stuff said today - i think there must be some sort of hallucinogenic gas coming through the ac, because no one batted an eyelid over what was said from the platform.. as usual, i will highlight the main talks.. .

saturday.

"deliver us from the wicked one and from every sort of lawlessness" - matt 6:13, titus 2:14. .

cyberguy

Truthseeker,

I wonder if the 10:00 Symposium on those “staggering to the slaughter” includes the low-hour publisher? In other words, he better develop a “sense of urgency” or he’ll be classed with those “staggering” ones! And what’s this stuff about “pioneers look so happy?” Oh yea, right! What kind of dope are they passing out now?

33

I roomed with a DRUNK BETHEL ELDER at Bethel - My Bethel Story

by What-A-Coincidence in

jw
friends

yes folks.

i roomed in a double room with a bethel elder at wallkill.

i would come home late at night and i would hear him cursing up a storm.

cyberguy

When I was in Bethel, I knew of several heavy drinkers on the GB! Also, when C. Barber was in the circuit work, he was well known for his wet bar in the trunk of his car. I remember as a teenager at a get-together for the CO, I was asked to get something out of the back of his car, and there were boxes of heavy liquor. This guy bought the good stuff too! Not that I’m against drinking, I've been known to snort a few, but this guy was well-know for self medicating while in the circuit work.

13

AIDS/HIV, Watchtower, and Frontline

by cyberguy in

jw
friends

when i was in the jw-office, working at circuit and district conventions, there was a real scare/effort to baptize those with aids/hiv after everyone else was finished.

i can understand this safeguard, but the wts position on this in the us and the western world, is that it is primary a gay disease (most infected that i knew, wanting to be baptized as jws, were not gay but former drug addicts, sharing needles).

their view is, gods punishment on a debauched lifestyle!.

cyberguy

When I was in the JW-office, working at Circuit and District Conventions, there was a real scare/effort to baptize those with AIDS/HIV after everyone else was finished. I can understand this safeguard, but the WT’s position on this in the US and the Western World, is that it is primary a gay disease (most infected that I knew, wanting to be baptized as JW’s, were not gay but former drug addicts, sharing needles…). Their view is, God’s punishment on a debauched lifestyle! PBS is airing several programs on the epidemic this evening, reviewing 20 years of history (see http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/aids/). I’ll be tuning-in to get more informed and updated. More on Wednesday! However, this disease didn’t start in the gay community! And I don’t believe God is punishing anyone here, no matter what the life style. And people need to use protection if they’re going to mess-around. And I’ve got more to say, but I’ll reframe to let others comment. Anyway, God-bless anyone who, of the 70-million now infected, are sick and need help!
Please review--70-million are now infected! This includes babies, and very young adults! Do any of you want to sit as a judge? Would you like to judge a baby who is now infected, because of what its parents did? Hopefully, some of you will respond and figure out a way to help! God bless you all for your consideration in this matter!