This Past Sunday My Wife Took Me To The Elders!

by enlightenedcynic 70 Replies latest jw experiences

  • enlightenedcynic
    enlightenedcynic

    Early Sunday Morning, around 1:30 a.m., my wife wakes me and says that she can't sleep and needs to talk with me. I say ok and she proceeds to tell me that she wants a seperation. I was hurt, but not shocked, because our relationship is not that close at this point after 14 yrs of marriage. She says that she can see that my heart is no longer into "serving Jehovah" and that she has tried to be a good wife but just can no longer bear the strain. My reply to her was that I provide financially for her and my children, do family study with her and a seperate study with the kids and go out in service(all this while knowing deep down that the WTS is a scam and racket!!!). She says that all of those things are just and outward display, and that my conversations show that my mind is not being regulated by holy spirit. She also said that the reason she can't be intimate with me(no sex in about a month and a half) is because I enjoy deviant sex acts(performing oral sex on her which she loves in the moment but hates afterwards..she refuses to do the same for me). Not one time during our marriage have I ever uttered any anti-society language to my wife. She has on occaision voiced displeasure with certain things but always wraps things up with a "just leave it in Jehovah's hands". I then said to her that we should just try to get some sleep and discuss this further in the morning, she says that there is nothing further to discuss and that she is going to contact the p.o. before meeting and arrange for him to meet with us so that she could see what her options were. Being that I have never laid a hand on my wife, ever spoken to her in an abusive manner and as I already stated, I financially support my family, I asked her on what grounds she thought she would be able to seperate? She goes to the bedroom, comes back and hands me some papers stapled together. As I started to look over them, I recognized that they were printouts of old watchtower articles, highlighted in certain paragraphs, newspaper articles that were not, shall we say, pro-WTS and a copy of the UN NGO letter that confirmed the WTS' status. Seems innocent enough right? Wrong! All that info was on my computer and she accessed it and printed it out so that she could show the brothers that I had doubts about the org and was viewing apostate literature!! I have to run now, but I will let you know what happened at the meeting with the elders and how I handled it. All in all I'm okay, but I am saddened that my companion thought nothing of "turning me in" to the elders. I love her very much and she loves me(obviously conditionally!!). I see now though why so many JW marriages are breaking up lately...as the saying goes...two's company, three is a crowd. I have a full sized bed. My wife and the WTS are in it. Me? I'm on the floor. Do I have grounds for a divorce? ec

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan

    It doesn't sound like there's a whole lot you could to do to salvage this situation, I'm so sorry to hear about this.

  • schne_belly
    schne_belly

    SORRY

  • schne_belly
    schne_belly

    DOUBLE POST!

  • LDH
    LDH

    Sorry EC.

    Others do not belong in your marriage except for trained marriage counselors.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Sounds familiar, and my marriage ended in divorce over it, too. Sorry to hear you're on the receiving end of it, bro.

    "Gestapo" is the first word that springs to mind.

  • schne_belly
    schne_belly
    Do I have grounds for divorce?

    Does SHE?

    Being that I have never laid a hand on my wife, ever spoken to her in an abusive manner and as I already stated, I financially support my family

    Sounds to me, like you've been the best husband you could be in the situation! How sad she is willing to give this up because of this nasty religion!

    I'm sorry to hear this and hope you will continue to remain strong! Keep us posted.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Do you have grounds for a divorce? From the perspective of the world, yes.

    Does she have grounds for divorce? From the perspective of the PO, maybe. How about grovelling to the PO? Saying you had private doubts but you never intended to share them or cause your wife to be in any spiritual danger. I think spiritual danger is the operative word here.

    My advice? Make her do all the work. Make her find the lawyer, find a place for you to live, pay for the movers, file the divorce papers.

  • BritBoy
    BritBoy

    Best of luck enlightenedcynic

    Be true to yourself. Maybe one day your wife will realise her MONSTROUS error.

    Brit xx

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    I wonder if the minds of the GB are regulated by the Holy Spirit. But how can she divorce you anyway if you haven't committed adultery or ill treated her? It sounds like the cult is again at work trying to destroy a good marriage.

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