serendipity

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Posts by serendipity

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  26

  What's the commun denominator in every JW?

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ?

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  serendipity

  I think a lot of JWs are also idealists and idealism is what turns a lot to ex-JWs because the JW world is NOT ideal (or idyllic).
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  22

  Another newbie

  by jessthebull in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just wanted to introduce myself, i have been lurking around for a while reading posts and identifying with so many of the experiences within them.

  i have only stopped going to the meetings in the last year and it is only in the last couple of months that i have really started to research this "religion" that has been such a huge part of my life.

  i dont live at home any more but am still in regular contact with my jw family and one or two friends.

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  serendipity

  Welcome to the forum, Jess!
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  25

  Love Calculator!

  by Legolas in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think the thing is right!

  i did myself and hubby and got 91%!

  then i did all my childhood friends, who are now all divorced or are separated and they all scored really low!

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  serendipity

  My abusive EX and I got 0%. There may be something to this.
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  20

  Sister "I just have to comment all the time" had my thought...

  by wanderlustguy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was thinking about how one of the cult tactics come into play in such a simple action, like commenting at the meetings.

  don't know if it was the same everywhere, but at our hall, sometimes the wt study conductor would call on a couple of people in sequence, the first would give thier comment, then brother "i get to carry the microphone" would run over to the other, just for them to say "he, she had my thought".

  just that statement "they had my thought" says so much now.

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  serendipity

  Undercover: Thanks for the laugh!

  I guess I've only noticed the rote answers in the last 2 or 3 years. Years ago, I remember that the elders in our cong. would counsel us to put the answers in our own words and offer additional thoughts using the quoted scriptures. This came often enough that my sister-in-law agonized that she couldn't really offer anything unique beyond what was stated in the paragraph. It was something else to feel guilty and inadequate about.
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  17

  Taking control over our lives.

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is such a huge issue for me.

  i don't want anyone to tell me what to do or how to live.

  in part this is due to the control that the wts and the elders had over my life.

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  serendipity

  My mother was very controlling, and as a child I had to obey her or get the crap beat out of me. I think that led to me trying too hard to please authority figures. Paradoxically, I'm a bit of a rebel. I don't like being controlled.

  My mother still tries to control and manipulate me. She's a bit of a bully even now. I set boundaries, "give in" when I feel like and ignore requests when I don't want to do the things she asks or advises. She's frustrated with me and threatens to withdraw my inheritance. I'm willing to risk that because I don't like being controlled or manipulated.

  My "EX" was also a controlling bully. When I tried to establish boundaries in a calm, mature manner, he blew me off, yelled and verbally abused me. The only way to get the point across to him was to raise my voice and act angry. (And guess why he's an EX)

  My theory on bullies is that you have to stand up for yourself respectfully, calmly and firmly. They may not like your stance, but they will respect you. Bullies don't respect pushovers.

  I had one manager who tried to micromanage me when I first started working for him. He was a new manager and I figured he was a bit insecure in the job and he didn't know how competent I was. He also grilled people in staff meetings, asking them for status on items he didn't assign. I got the message that he wanted us to take initiative and be proactive. I made it a game to outthink him, and anticipate his questions on my work. After a few months, I proved myself and he stopped the micromanaging of me. In general, learning to manage your manager is a very valuable skill to have.

  My company has a certain amount of control over me, but I guess that's to be expected as a wage slave.

  My daughter has tried to control me, but I think it's funny. I usually say "Yes, your highness" and ignore her. It gets the point across in a humorous way.

  Though I'm a JW, as an inactive single sister, I get no attention from people in the congregation and very little from most of my JW family. I've learned to filter out the controlling messages from the talks and publications, so the WTS has no significant control over me.

  I haven't figured out how to remove the government's control of my paycheck, via taxes.
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  8

  The Price of Children

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, (negative side mostly) but this is the first time the rewards are listed this way.

  it's nice, really nice!!

  it's even worth printing.. .

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  serendipity

  Kids are worth every penny!
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  5

  Remember them, from time to time

  by free2beme in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  remember them from time to time.

  we sail through this life collecting memories that we cherish.

  these memories might be a simple laugh from time to time, as we think about something that happened a long time ago.

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  serendipity

  My condolences. I like the piece and would be honored to have that presented at my funeral.
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  13

  How do you connect?

  by serendipity in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  as you read on these forums, what is it that causes you to 'connect' with a certain poster, sight unseen?

  is it the comments s/he writes that mirrors your viewpoint?

  is it a sense of humor?

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  serendipity

  As you read on these forums, what is it that causes you to 'connect' with a certain poster, sight unseen? Is it the comments s/he writes that mirrors your viewpoint? Is it a sense of humor? Is it the flirty repartee? That the person seems to need your insight, support or empathy? Is it the cool screen name or sexy avatar? What is it that makes you want to meet the person in the flesh?
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  30

  If you think the JW's are correct on Blood don't read

  by skyman in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  if anyone can disprove my conclussions please send me a letter in my inbox, or if you can think of other points please drop me a line.

  feel free to copy and use part or all of this letter.

  i started my biblical sereach after i was asked by a brother in my book study group why we could use fraction that was taken from coagulated blood, but can not auto-transfuse {store our own blood for later use} becasue the blood coagulates and then must be poured out onto the ground.

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  serendipity

  It appears to me that the WTS is rusting away the blood policy. I predict the next thing to go will be 1-4 of the components or the prohibition on auto transfusions or the prohibition on blood donations. Most likely one of the latter two. The changes will take place slowly, considering the statute of limitations on lawsuits.
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  40

  Looking for some advice

  by MuadDib in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm a young man raised in the jws, been meaning to get the hell out of dodge for a few years now (basically ever since starting a history degree and learning why the jw conception of history, science, and indeed of reality is so utterly nonsensical, in addition to having discovered girls and fun).

  i have no qualms about leaving the organization, i don't care what the elders or anyone else think about my decision - with the exception of my family.

  i love my family deeply and i know that my decision will really hurt them, especially my mother (a full-time pioneer), and this is making me hesitate to do what i know needs to be done in addition to causing me a lot of worry and stress.

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  serendipity

  Hi MUADdib,

  Welcome to the forum! Since you're baptized, if you express doubts, you could very well be df'd. Be careful!