As you read on these forums, what is it that causes you to 'connect' with a certain poster, sight unseen? Is it the comments s/he writes that mirrors your viewpoint? Is it a sense of humor? Is it the flirty repartee? That the person seems to need your insight, support or empathy? Is it the cool screen name or sexy avatar? What is it that makes you want to meet the person in the flesh?
How do you connect?
thats an interesting question - its the quality of their posts but usually humour does it for me every time.
erm, ugh was gunna say something
First and foremost I'd have to say, how it is one presents themselves in word on the board. When it all comes down to it on a DB, the words are all we have. Do they move me to thought? Are they easily understood in expressing themselves. Are they honest or prentious, just needing to have a drum to beat.
Though I've yet to meet any of you face to face, I've held conversation on the phone with several of you here and you have all made it even more desirous to my wanting to meet you.
You cross a delicate bridge that just blossoms once it is you've voiced over to someone on the phone, yet when it happens, it changes, entirely, the dynamics of engaging with you in conversation. You wish to meet them face to face even more.
Then of course, those ohhhh sooo hot avitars that belong to many of you.
Humor and a nice sexy avatar to go with it.
I appreciate humor and a well chosen avatar, as I hope people appreciate mine.
However, when you read about people's life experiences, and watch things happen to them (ie ITIS and FreedomLover) it builds an emotional bridge between you.
I enjoy being able to read someone's thoughts without being distracted by appearances. I think that makes it easier for all of us to open up. When I first started lurking on this site, I found it very therapeutic to read someone's story without any qualifiers - seeing them only as a human. No status, no appearance, just a real person. I definitely connect with other people's life experiences.
It's clear that people come here for a variety of reasons. I find I connect with those with whom I share similar perspectives. There are quite a few; AK-Jeff comes to mind. And I definitely dig Scully for some reason. I think it has to do with her way with words... Proper grammar and spelling, biting wit--but usually nothing too venemous. Similar sense of humor, I think.
Is it the flirty repartee?
hey serendipity baby... how YOU doin'?
humour is great, but mostly what they say. what they think about where they've been.
What is it that makes you want to meet the person in the flesh?
The sheer fact that these are the ones, oh so familiar with the struggle of having been JW, that you find a drawing to them like that of magnets of opposite poles that attract. It's not just from a male to female connect as I've had a number of conversations with males, as well as females. The males I found we had struck such a familliar chord, that it can often, I imagine, become an obsession.