This is such a huge issue for me. I don't want anyone to tell me what to do or how to live. In part this is due to the control that the WTS and the elders had over my life. It is also about the control my first husband, my mother, father, step-father, and foster parents who all abused me emotionally, physically and/or sexually.
And over the last couple of years as my health has deteriorated my husband tried to take control over my life. I really don't respond well to that anymore. I hated it when he would talk for me. There was nothing wrong with my head. The problem was in my feet. I hated it when he would insist on coming with me to the doctors. It would be a struggle to leave him in the waiting room. He wanted to come in and take over. it drove me crazy. When his mother would visit he would tell her all my health problems. I know he did the same with the people he worked with. Despite my asking him not to he would tell them everything thinking I would never find out. Then he would slip up and say "so-and-so suggested something" and I knew they wouldn't be suggesting anything if he hadn't told them. Eventually I couldn't take his trying to control everything and I left him last year.
I think this is a big issue for so many people who have had control taken away by others. Coming out of the JWs I realized that I had to learn some things about decision making and taking control over my life.
I think the whole idea of following any rules works its way into this too. So many of us are angry with all the control the WTS had over our lives. And they used the elders as watchdogs over us. Now we want, need, to control what we do and where we go and how we do things. Sort of like a teen with really strict parents many go out and do all the things that were forbidden. I know doing that got me into some hot water a few times until I learned where my boundaries were.
So my question is:
How do you deal with this issue of control over your life?