I appreciate all the experiences that have been shared on this thread...albeit sad. For years after leaving jw's the most guilt i carried was what i put my kids through. it feels good that i'm not alone. now i can't believe the extent of the mind control that we were all under. i had four children and i look back and don't know how i ever did it. my oldest daughter has 3 under 7 years and she can't figure out how i got them all fed, dressed for meetings and got them to sit still. i don't know either. i remember feeling like i was under so much pressure from what others thought and tried so hard to be the perfect sister....studies and research done. i really regret beating the hell out of my second child who is a boy. he had terrible ear infections so would cry a lot. i didn't realize what was wrong, just was doing what the older sisters told me they did with their children. in retrospect, it was just a plain nightmare that i regret. service was another story. i'm also so relieved not to have to attend all those meetings. i love staying home in the evenings and relaxing. my children are so forgiving, but i see scars that will always be there. thanks again for sharing everyone.
homesteader
JoinedPosts by homesteader
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54
Being a JW mother, I really don't understand how these women do it.
by Dragonlady76 inwhile reading through some threads, i sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if i had stayed a jw and had kids.
i now have a 23 month old son, that's very active, i can not begin to imagine what torture it would be for both of us to attend meetings or go out in field service.
i would be expected to keep him still the whole time without toys, snacks, books or any sort of distraction at all, except maybe the my book of bible stories.
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Wife is pretty much done!
by mkr32208 ini haven't been here much for the last 6 months or so because... (drum roll please) my wife has pretty much called it quits!
she's not been to a meeting now in over a year!
(well she went to visit a gung-ho friend for the weekend and went to one sunday) no service in at least twice that long!
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homesteader
Yeah for your wife and you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like the advice to stay by her side during this time.
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Back from the DC
by jula71 infirst they should have changed "godly obedience" to "society obedience".
i have never heard obey the gb pushed so hard in all my years as i dub.
it was amazing.
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homesteader
One quote really hit me, they were talking "food at the proper time" and the speaker said "our only job is to eat, the GB and the slaves job is to feed us." Translation. eat everything question nothing.
hmmm "give a man a fish he eats for a day. teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime." unknown
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What have you gained?
by bagpuss inits two years since i last attended a meeting or thought of myself as a jw.
despite the prophesys of doom and gloom for those who leave the org i have gained lots and lost nothing.. i have much more time to spend with my husband which has led to our relationship improving fantastically.. i have a better relationship with my children who stopped going to meetings when they were teenagers.. i have become much closer to my family (i've just returned from yorkshire from my great nephews 1st birthday party.
my confidence has grown dramatically as i no longer view myself as worthless.. the guilt of not doing enough has gone.. i now have real friends.. the list goes on, but i really would like to hear what you've gained or hope to gain by leaving the borg.
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homesteader
Freedom!!!!!!!! Freedom to think, freedom to act, freedom to be.
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Chemo begins today
by outnfree inso, i've been sitting at the computer all night long, not really panicked, but definitely disturbed at the thought of what the months to come will entail.. the port-a-cath was "installed" (surgically) on monday, and that was tough.
somehow the lumpectomy last month and even finding out that there was lymph node involvement was okay.
scary, but okay.
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homesteader
outnfree,
you are in my thoughts and prayers. by all the replys here it doesn't sound like you are alone!!!!!!!!!
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Need clarification on communication with a disfellowshipped person
by jostes inwas wondering the clarification of a relationship someone can have with their mother if they have been disfellowshipped and the daughter is in good standing with the congregation?
the daughter was baptised after the disfellowship.
does this mean the daughter is not to have a relationship with the mother.
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homesteader
They can do what ever they want as the are responsible adults in society. What are the consequences for the daughter to have a relationship with her mom? I wouldn't feed into telling the daughter what JW's say she can do. Help her think for herself. What does she want to do? Nice of you to want to help.
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How do you feel, relieved or sad?
by jula71 inive been doing a bunch of reflecting and pondering> im just seeing if anyone else has been feeling this and/or if its common.
relieved that i have a new found freedom, free to pursue goals and dreams i never could as a dub.
free from the guilt, always feeling god is watching waiting from me to screw up so he can erase my name from the book of life.
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homesteader
I understand your bittersweet feelings. I definitely feel relieved not living under such pressure to measure up to such high standards. I felt sadness at the loss of some good friends, but have so many more wonderful people have come into my life. I try not to look back too much. You might feel a little more sadness than some of us because it's an end to your childhood dreams and fairy tales. I've found that paradise is right here and now. Life is your perception. I'm 40 something and living all of my dreams and feel fufilled.
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Is College now wrong for Jehovah's Witnesses again?
by booker-t ini have been out of the jw's for many years now but i still have devout jw's family members.
and i am attending college now at 40 yrs old working on my ba degree.
i was so happy a few years ago when my jw mom told me that the wt is slacking off on telling jw's teenagers that college is bad and it is ok to attend college and universities.
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homesteader
i could never understand jw's going to physicians, lawyers and other professionals yet not encouraging higher education. so many gifted minds going to waste.
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There were some good things about the organisation...
by Do I Stand Alone? ini have read a number of experiences in this discussion forum and quite frankly, i would have to agree that many, if not all, were pretty terrible experiences if not all together traumatic.
i know that my personal 9-11 tragedy resulted in finding out that the watchtower society was involved with the united nations.
that pretty much said it all as far as my "career" in the organisation was concerned.
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homesteader
my observation of your post is that you should of raised this question without trying to promote your business. also you are stretching the good things about the organization. the public speaking skills are nothing compared to toastmasters and although i wasted a lot of time out in service i am by no means a sales person...in fact i hate selling things. i didn't become a jw until i was 20 so must take responsiblity for what i got my self into. in retrospect i don't have any ill feelings towards jw's because it was where i needed to be at that time in my life. it did help me to quit smoking, drink in a more responsible way, give up an immoral lifestyle. my children were exposed to literacy and reading at an early age. i think i gave a little too much credit to jw's for everything because after i left the org and met my husband he accepted christ, quit drinking, quit smoking and also gave up an immoral lifestyle. my husband and i have both been through some rough times and neither of us regret what we've been through or done as it's made us the people we are.
as a child i lived in an orphanage (Mooseheart) and for many years couldn't see one good thing that came out of it at the expense of my lost childhood. my anger has passed and although i don't feel appreciative of the place or the the Moose Organization, I don't feel angry either. I try to look at the positive points and there is always something postive to focus on but i do believe one has to work through the anger first. it's interesting that they have a message board and when i showed up as the antagonist many weren't happy that i questioned their 'happy child city" memories. the board was quite interesting for a time with different viewpoints but now has settled down and has very few posts.
thanks to the folks who exposed the business as amway....been there, done that.
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Life was a game of make pretend!!!
by Tez inwhen did i discover this?
i was brought up by an alcoholic mother and step father, life was miserable, told never to tell what was going on to other family members.
my elder siblings left home as soon as they could to marry.
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homesteader
hi tez,
thanks for sharing your story. it is verysimiliar to mine. i was from and alcholic family, married a guy at 17 to get away from family, became a jw at 20, had four children and tried hard to be a good jw. when the two older kids were df'd in their late teens after being baptized at 12 &13 i couldn't abandon them either. especially because they had such valid points about jw's. i left the org. and my immature husband and i divorced. i remarried a wonderful man and am now living happyily ever after and am not pretending. we have our problems, but have coping skills. you don't have anything to feel guilty about!!!! you did your best and as a previous post said it's a system that is set up for failure. i don't regret the 20 some years as a jw because it contributed to the person i am and that's someone i love unconditionally. i learned a lot while being a jw, met some wonderful people and it kept me out of trouble for a time. take care and keep in touch. how neat to have your son sharing on the board also.