stopthepain
JoinedTopics Started by stopthepain
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14
how many people make a "comeback"
by stopthepain ini personally am ashamed of my so-called comeback.. hers the story.brainwashed from infancy on,got out at age 16-17-really started hating the religion.tried lots of drugs,sex ,selling drugs ,fighting,partying,gambling-soup to nuts.at a fragile and emotional point in my life,i looked back to the religion{for all those sappy and emotional reasons-ex-my life has no meaning,i dont like the way my life is}i had a short lived comeback,and fell into all the traps of believimg a cult again.thinking i needed "structure"in my life.my mom kept sayimg how i would find a nice sister,blah blah blah.... .
after 5-6 months of going to meetings i* stopped,i realized most of the people there{especial;ly young ones raised in the troof}were living lies,and acting very immature.that was 3 years ago.i havent been to the kh since and never plan on going back.. i guess im embarrssed about this and feel stupid about my "comeback".wondering if this is natural to have a comeback considering my circumstances,or if anyone has done this?.
please forgive me...........it will never happen again
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13
I didn't drink the kool-aid
by stopthepain inlately,i haven't been as concerned with my jw past.it will always affect me,and this website has changed my life,for the better.i guess i know that thetre will always be people that will believe in religious bullcrap.thats thier problem.i am proud that i didn't drink the kool-aid{i say to people now"don't drink the kool-aid"}i have not posted as much lately,and feel less concerned about the whole situation,which is a good thing.. .
cheers to all you who didn't drink the kool aid,and those who stopped drinking it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1.
thanks ,stp
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11
what if???????????
by stopthepain inwhat do you think would happenif every x-jw showed up for a sunday meeting,with just a bible{any version you like}and a smiling face.everyone acted as if the borg had no control over them.i'm not saying be disrespectful,you just smile,and act as if you aren't under the societies authority.no literature,no rhetoric,just peace and humility.. .
that would make a statement!
ps.a strong young couple in my old hall just da'ed themselves,it made my day.
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9
I have outed myself
by stopthepain in.
my avatar is me with my dog tuko.i am not afraid at all anymore.people can read what ive written,i honestly don't care.for those of you who recognize my posts----------------well,here i am.. stp{of the not afraid to hide my face class}
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8
ex jw's shouldnt own guns
by stopthepain in.
due to being a broken human,taught to hate himself,i find critiscm,even constructive,hard to handle.someone mentioned i looked like i was packing on a few pounds,due to binge eating,alchoholism,drug addiction,depression,and an overall bad attitude,i almost started crying at work in front of my peers.i swear if i owned a gun,i'd be dead.oh,i thought about driving 110 into a pole,but theres no gurantee of being dead.if i owned a gun,i would be dead,because my moods and depression and insecurity are like a goddamn balancing act.the way i was raised make me love myself,and hate myself ,all in the same breath.i am glad i don't buy into anything,and realize most people,includind my own family are ultimately selfish,as am i.i have become selfish,critical and angry,but i also see the good in mankind.i go thru life trying to help people,and being a good guy.all you get is shit back.. my father,who allowed all this bs to reign supreme,is the most unloving,unchristian ,negative human i know.when people die,he claims they deserve it.its so funny that the whole point of religion,and jw's especially,is love.to love someone,you know,the friutages of the spirit.most people don't show jack shit but profess to be better.. i guess the emotions i go thru will bnever go away,but this is no suicide thread,because as i drove home,i thought of the little things in life that i enjoy,and i will not let some cult,or twisted view of love make me end it.i will keep going for the few moments of enjoyment this life provides me,but i still will never own a gun.
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5
full blown hypocrisy amongst "christian youths"
by stopthepain ini find it funny and sad that children who were raised in the cult resort to full blown double lives,believing that if they go to meetings all will be fine at the big a.. my little sister who is 20,was just heard on the phone the other day by my brother saying some funny stuff.. heres the skinny.my sis has apparently "hooked up " with a "worldly boy".now apparently the kid wont leave her alone.this is what she said to another fine,upstanding christian sister on the phone"i wish i never hooked up with him,i mean ,i had my fun,but now he's annoying me.
{pause}ok,i'll see you at the meeting".. i find it funny because she just told me last week how strongly she feels about jehovah and the borg,but she still wanted to have a relationship with me.i told her " how do you think it makes me feel knowing you believe i will be dead in the fast approaching war of armegeddon "{i thought fornicators and unclean acts and people mixing and becoming unevenly yoked would die to}.apparently not as long as you go to meetings!!.
i pity her,cognitive dissedence,ain't it a bitch.. just thought i'd share.stp.
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5
just more b.s.
by stopthepain ini just got off the phone with a elder friend of mine.he's one of those borderlline elders who doesn't shun me.i called him to ask about a family matter that he knew about.the conversation soon degenarated into an aregument.i asked "where does it say in the bible to brainwash children and send them door to door to sell magazines.
" his reply was "bring your children up in the mental regulating of jehovah" and "jesus gave us a command to preach,and we should show are children that".i'm really heated right now.i'm amazed how this religion has an answer for everything,always have to be right.couldn't just say,"yeah ,maybe a child should grow up first ,then choose if they want to ebarrass themselves,oops,i mean preach.
"i hate that religion,with every fiber in me.more of the same bullcrap.
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3
how should i handle them?
by stopthepain inyesterday,i watched the football games at my parents house.my parents both went to the meeting.now everyone knows my stance about the religion,but out of respect,i try very hard not to talk about my feelings or discourage them,because that is pointless.. but peppered throughout the day waas comments on the meeting,how the watchtower on alchohol was good becuase unlike other religions jdubs "adress the problems at hand",how an annionted sister died and how she is now"up there talking with jehovah"ect ,ect ,ect.whenever these comments where said,i had all i could do but go off.. i guess i'm pissed because if i was to sayanything about my views on the society,it would be a huge fight ,ending in alot of hurt feelings,but they can talk about things that they believe,as if i somehow will see the light.. at one point ,my father was kind of ragging on the watchtower study about alchohol{he's a huge jw fencesitter } i replied with"don't say anything bad about the society dad" mockingly of course,and i said out loud.
"i'll just keep my opinions to myself".even after i tried to show that i was uncomfortable with that topic ,it didn't stop them from bringing it up.. lately i'm really considering disassociating myself from the religion,for myself,but also to test my family.why should i have my name listed as a babtized jw(i was babtized at the all knowing age of 12}?why should they not talk to me even if i was disassosiated?is this a selfish thought?do i want to do that to see who my family loves more,me or the org?i can honestly say i don't care about my relationship with my family if they treated me different.they abandoned me once when i first left,but a few years after i left they softened.all you have in the world is yourself,ive learned that thusfar the hard way.. this religion is ,as far as i can tell,will always play a part in my life--------one way or another,whether i want it to or not.stp.
p.s.thanks whoever runs this site,it has been a great outlet for me personally.also,all the members,thanks.even you bradley!
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2
Question for women-and men{preferably gay}
by stopthepain ini am seeing someone thats about 10 years older than me.she also works where i work.i am a union worker and she is "management"in the same company i work for.we have alot in common ,and i have been seeing her for about 2 1/2 -3 months.i know that isn't a long time,but i do really like her.i am atracted to her mentally and physically.my question is,can this work?should i let her be the aggressor,do i tell her that i like her alot.i don't want to scare her away,but it's hard to be in limbo,even for a guy.i don't really know what she wants out of this,and neither do i.we also have to keep it a secret at work,which isn't a big deal right now,but could be down the line.i should probably just take it slow,as i have.the org fucked me up in the trelationship department,so i am a bit lost.is the age difference to much.i don't feel it is,because i enjoy her company.its wierd,because my last real relationship,i was in charge,you know,the one who gets loved more than he gives,now i feel the shoe is on the other foot.time will tell,but anyone been in this situation before.just curious!
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2
WTBTS=relationship thief
by stopthepain in.
how many of you out there have ever wondered "how many people did i never get to meet because of being a witness".. i for one,being raised ina ultra conservative jw family ask myself that.. everytime you missed out on various activities{outside the org},you miss out the chance of meeting great, interesting people.i for one don't have 1 friend left from the religion.so even if i met just 1 person that made a difference in my life,it would have been worth more than all that wasted time.. the wtbts knows what strings to pull to keep you from thinking outside the jw box.they destroy relationships before you could ever imagine begginning one..