Yesterday,I watched the football games at my parents house.My parents both went to the meeting.Now everyone knows my stance about the religion,but out of respect,I try very hard not to talk about my feelings or discourage them,because that is pointless.
But peppered throughout the day waas comments on the meeting,how the watchtower on alchohol was good becuase unlike other religions jdubs "adress the problems at hand",how an annionted sister died and how she is now"up there talking with jehovah"ect ,ect ,ect.Whenever these comments where said,I had all I could do but go off.
I guess i'm pissed because if I was to sayanything about my views on the society,it would be a huge fight ,ending in alot of hurt feelings,but they can talk about things that they believe,as if I somehow will see the light.
At one point ,my father was kind of ragging on the watchtower study about alchohol{he's a huge jw fencesitter } I replied with"don't say anything bad about the society dad" mockingly of course,and I said out loud."i'll just keep my opinions to myself".Even after I tried to show that I was uncomfortable with that topic ,it didn't stop them from bringing it up.
Lately i'm really considering disassociating myself from the religion,for myself,but also to test my family.Why should I have my name listed as a babtized jw(I was babtized at the all knowing age of 12}?Why should they not talk to me even if i was disassosiated?Is this a selfish thought?Do I want to do that to see who my family loves more,me or the org?I can honestly say I don't care about my relationship with my family if they treated me different.They abandoned me once when I first left,but a few years after I left they softened.All you have in the world is yourself,Ive learned that thusfar the hard way.
This religion is ,as far as I can tell,will always play a part in my life--------one way or another,whether I want it to or not.STP
P.S.thanks whoever runs this site,it has been a great outlet for me personally.Also,all the members,thanks.even you bradley!!