Joe134cd
So that makes us the annointed? And JW.com the F&D slave!! We get Big J's divine messages first!! lol
Hairtrigger
JoinedPosts by Hairtrigger
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27
It must be of concern to the GB with all the information that is been leaked now
by joe134cd ini was just watching cedars prank call to tomo3.
by the way lloyd very well done and totally funny.
but on a more serious note (and i think what must be of concern to the gb) are the amount of leaks that must be occurring at a senior level or at least by a person who has access to sensitive information.
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55
Serious business
by brandnew inthis my friends will help in a long struggle that me and my girlfriend are having.........does the toilet paper unravel over or under.
thank you for your cooperation on this timely matter...
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Hairtrigger
Thanks Outlaw .Glad yu enjoyed it!! -
55
Serious business
by brandnew inthis my friends will help in a long struggle that me and my girlfriend are having.........does the toilet paper unravel over or under.
thank you for your cooperation on this timely matter...
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Hairtrigger
HOW THE Q. GOT HERE
125 eldubs sat down, in a red heated debate
About toilet paper, and its rightful, hanging state
The overseer then VOCALIZED , his VOICE LIKE thunder
Should Toilet paper be rolled over, or JUST under?
A silence ensued, while the gathering squirmed
Some sedulously into, their grey bibles wormed
Others looked hither, or whither and thither
A few wanted out, and began secretly to slither
Most didn’t know, which way to really turn
The question really fogged them, their minds began to churn
Five thought of this and ten thought of that
Finally, one that got up – he was horribly fat.
“My posterior is large and dumb though may soundl
It’s a massive territory – and covers lot of ground
So if all of you please –forgive me- but I do not waver
I’d rather-ah! Ahem! prefer a roll of newspaper!!”
Up jumped a whippersnapper, of no small renown
He was angry and pink, and his brow was a frown
“Pray, DO tell Bro. Wide Ass – since you’re so eager to choose
Are yu teaching your dunghole to REALLY read the news?”
Bro WideAss felt insulted and jellied up all flustered
“Bro Stick I have no need to –no need..”, he blustered
“Since your reading skills are miles ahead of the rest
There’s no need for mine, to imitate the best
The rest looked at th’o’erseer -with mouths open wide
How the heck was he to stem, this outrageous deride
At last, the overseer, regained his his senses to bawl
“Both of you –JUDICIAL COMMITTEE!—now out of this hall! “
The culprits slunk out, though being quite pipped
Drank their ire –didn’t want to be - “disfellowshipped”!
The debate resumed at last, with order restored
Everyone now wide-eyed - not a single one bored
Then stood the wizened, ole blighter McDrool
“ I think, he croaked,” it should rest over the spool”.
“Why”shouted others ,”dear ole Bro Mcdrool?
Give us your reasons pray ,don’t think us mere fools”
“Sometimes when I wipe, a few dirty stains
On my bony hands sans paper, slimily remain
When it’s o’er the spool, I reach - quickly to glean
The rest of the toilet paper, remains virginly clean.
But sometimes when my hands are covered with shit
And the toilet paper rests under, not over -to wit
I reach to gather – but alas! I’m ashamed -to go on..”
“Forget it Bro McDrool- we get it – you…moron
You , every meeting, sully T- paper, spool after spool
You don’t need a shitpot, but a damn swimmin’ pool.
Pray how much do yu dump each time you sit
On that commode- bring us up to scratch –yu dimwit
Bro. McDrool drew himself up, to his full adult height
His arthritis was shakin’ him, but he got ready to fight
Moron and dimwit? Those insults -you at me holler
A man in his 80’s ? - now then -you closely me foller
I was fukkin when yu were suckkin you shit- headed blimps
Some were not even thought of, your dear dads were pimps
Your ugly mothers whored around , a dime an S.T.D poke
Sometime s for a penny, at other times for a joke
Now if you think your shit , don’t fill a dolls cup
Yu can kiss my hairy ass, yu dumb whore’s pup!!
Dumbfounded were all, chaos followed soon
The over’seer had toppled over, in an unsavory swoon
The meeting was disrupted with missiles being thrown
A bethel committee was called in, all hurriedly sworn,
To preside over this matter , on which all agreed
Unanimous was the consensus, then they decreed
This was an issue, that shamed the great crowd
It must be thrown out - the WT, really, - was under a cloud
What should be done, with this horrible plight
They decided it was final- an apostate website!!
So now, my friends yu know, how this q came here
But we’ll solve it, even though, be it many a year!!!
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EXPERTS ONLY! A Pop Quiz on (current) Watchtower teaching
by TerryWalstrom inpop quiz on jw (current) teaching.
1. was jesus 2nd coming in 1914?.
2. is jesus 2nd (parousia) presence the same thing as his coming?.
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Hairtrigger
1. I didn't know he ever came first! He was a carpernter dammit not an academic. No report cards in the bible.
2. Bible doesn't have an attendance roster either. If he was coming he must still walking on water 'cause he never ever arrived.
3. Are yu talking of "Black Sails'? She humped both men and women and was a faithful and discreet slave. Nothing prophesy about it she was an incom- parable.
4.Son-o-man hadn't any. He was homeless. Yup they threw him. now they only have little boys and girls- longings.
5.Depends on whether yu mean an aphrodisiac or a number.
6.I don't date girls who have fribilliation-past present or future.Sorry did yu write 'tribulation'? Damn this glaucoma!!
7.My englis not so good but yu say grey cloud? Not knowing that jesus knoed native american chief. i am learned something new now!! He fust die for grey cloud and then disappear on grey cloud!! very funny! ha!ha!
8. So that they become faithful and discreet slaves and give up all their belongings .
9. Yu bet! Since the day he greased his hair with oliveoil and was popeye-d oiling the word into 144000 twistable interpretations of prophesy -which now has turned into $144000,000,000 and so roll on the merry years!!
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EXPERTS ONLY! A Pop Quiz on (current) Watchtower teaching
by TerryWalstrom inpop quiz on jw (current) teaching.
1. was jesus 2nd coming in 1914?.
2. is jesus 2nd (parousia) presence the same thing as his coming?.
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Hairtrigger
Hold on I'm at work to unravel this latest WT mystery!! -
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South Texas Introduction
by artsteel inwow, amazing to read all these experiences.. luckily, i walked away from them 20 some odd years ago because i wasn't making it financially and decided to pursue higher education.
best decision i ever made.
i was able to finish my degrees and i still shake my head at how these people really believe, really mind boggling.. most family members and friends i knew stopped talking to me, and up to this day i'm glad they did.. .
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Hairtrigger
Welcome to the body politic!! -
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HOW EXACTLY does god communicate with or direct the GB?
by stuckinarut2 inwe're all familiar with the organisations claims (and have seen the flow diagrams in books and mags) that the gb is "directed by god".
in turn, the local elders are "directed by god".
so, how exactly do they suppose this happens?
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Hairtrigger
Their god puts it into their hearts ...just like he will do to the leaders of he world to turn on world religion prior to the GT!!
JuanV2: An imperfect god ,using imperfect men ,to do an imperfect job, on other imperfect men ,according to an imperfect book , with imperfect recordings by more imperfect men ,which imperfection, they imperfectly feel ,are perfectly perfecting!!
They have wireless connected- and a sattellite from Plaides ( isn't that where they once claimed was the abode of their diety?) transmits divine intentions straight into -their behinds! That's because they have more shit in their heads than their asses!!
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Translating and deciphering witness expressions.
by stuckinarut2 ini wanted to start a thread with correct explanations of what witnesses really mean when they say stuff... please add to it!.
"we missed you at the last meeting" = "where were you?
why did you miss a meeting!?".
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Hairtrigger
The brothers are here to cut that maple tree that you were so concerned about in your garden= they want free lunch and a handout.
Could you accompany Bro. Zeb and his wife on field service on Monday?= He is a special pioneer and needs gas money and free groceries.
Bro Gross' is a fantastic speaker = i've gotta kiss his ass -I want tomake MS and I want to date his daughter. He has his own business and is loaded.
You have a lot of potential= You aren't doing enough FS.
All real life quotes from experiences in a particular congregation.
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What is the difference? Aren't they both idols?
by brandnew inwhat is the difference between .
and this ?.
.
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Hairtrigger
The former is the fountainhead of all knowledge -the latter-one for the shoulder and the other for the crop of the supreme 'teacher and the greatest man who ever lived'. In fact so forceful was his teachings that all have been thrown out and we have 7 of the wisest men on earth leading 8 million through the corridors of new intellectualism ! -
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When they ask in exasperation; "But what if it IS the Truth?"
by nicolaou inthis is how robert ingersoll responded to a fundamentalist's question, 'what if it's the truth?
' back in the 19th century.
"why," they say to me, "suppose all this should turn out to be true, and you should come to the day of judgement and find all these things to be true.
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Hairtrigger
Hey Big Guy! The CEO's you appointed F*****Up one after another. Your org . favorite pastime was making money, protecting pedos. and making predictions about what YOU were gonna do and when yu were gonna do it- times over but F'd up again and again. Where were you when all this was going on?