Posts by codeblue

my father and mother are still married, but he let her raise me as a witness, and that meant it was me and mom.. me and mom in field service for 100 hours in july because she had to make her time as a regular pioneer.. me and mom fighting over what to bring for lunch to the district convention.. me and mom up late at night, when she would berate me, and then unload all her problems on to me.. me and mom and our 4 hour family studies, where we discuss 2 paragraphs of a random book, and then she would browbeat me until early in the morning.. somehow, through all that, i pretended to be a witness for years, just to appease her.

looking back, i don't know if i loved her, or if i was just afraid of her.

codeblue

(((Richie)))

Maybe I SHOULD be your MOM! The JW son I raised is NOW shunning me cause I told him about the elders spiritually abusing me and I won't go to meetings.

I have had a really tough 3 months. I feel like my son hates me cause I am not a regular JW. (I can't go back..and be a JW after what the elders said to us on a welcoming visit and knowing the true pedophile situation).

I long for a life with my 2 sons...but I won't take coercion (or emotional blackmail) back to a "cult" just to get it. IT grieves me so.

When I was 14 my Mom died.......All's I can think about it how grateful I would be to have parents to call on the phone. My Dad wasn't a JW and he is dead........I didn't care......at least I had a parent to call.

Let's hope he wakes up from this "cult" and realizes he has a MOM that really loves and misses him...

tearfully,

Codeblue

33

Ron Frye's book on Elder Confidentiality

by Confession in

i'm still making my way through what is an excellent book by ron frye, former jw and c.o.

i found one of his comments interesting.

on page 68 he speaks affectionately of his wife mavis.... "i especially depended on her because she was observant and discerning.

codeblue

Where can we buy this book?

71

A Letter to the Governing Body

by truthsetsonefree in

(km 6/03 p. 1 par.

9 building for an eternal future, w87 2/1 p. 15 par.

(km 11/88 p. 4 par.

codeblue

Great Letter!

Thanks for sharing.......the more I read about elders and their knowledge further reminds me about my decision that this religion was NEVER spirit or Jehovah appointed.

The fact that MANY know the workings of this so called religion/or book publishing company...shows me it never had any truth(tm) whatso-ever.

I think Jesus would have ran the WTBS just like he did the money changers in his father's temple.

Codeblue

43

New and SAD...

by The Dreamer in

hello all...i've been searching for some sort of comfort in my situation.

i found a story written by "iamfreenow" aka marion.

i found some comfort to know that i am not alone in my challenging of my faith.

codeblue

Welcome Dreamer

I have been a life-long JW before stumbling onto this site.

One time I turned my self in....and said I needed "counseling"..........wtf? IF my conscience bothered me so much, why do I need more counseling?

That taught me a lesson: my conscience is my guide and I will never again let some imperfect person condemn me after my conscience has.

Glad you are here.....sorry about the df'ing.....sounds like it was quite unfair and not loving.

Codeblue

40

Did feel that you were at a mental breaking point at the point of leaving?

by jambon1 in

jw
friends

prior to you leaving the org did you come to the conclusion that if you didnt actually take the step and leave, that you would run into serious mental difficulty.. i really feel that for 5 years proir to my finally leaving i was quite impaired mentally by the teachings and practices of the org.

it was coming to a head though when i finally announced that i was leaving.

i really felt that i was under intense mental pressure and that if i didnt get out then i may end up doing something serious.

codeblue

not sure if this counts: I couldn't stomach looking at the 2 elders that came on a welcoming visit and said horrible, unchristian things to me.

I showed up 2 months later at the Memorial on 3 gin/tonics...........I was soooooooo pissed off at the lack of love.......

so yeah...remembering that...maybe I was slightly mental...

I still have anger too..........

Codeblue

74

~ Poem: For WOMEN only~

by FlyingHighNow in

jw
friends

men may not not appreciate this, but i have a hunch a few of you women will.

feel free to disuss:.

a woman's poem.

codeblue

lol....Thanks for the laugh...I needed it!!!

37

New here so this may be long...

by mandalion in

i wasn't born in the truth.

my parents started studying when i was five.

we started living all the principals completely when i was nine.

codeblue

Welcome

You have a "right" to feel however you want to feel.

I was raised as a JW and my rose colored glasses where broken seeing the last 10 minutes of the May 2002 Dateline exposing the pedophile problem in the WTBS.

Codeblue

74

WTS Has Lost +35% of Elders in US Since 1994????

by Seeker4 in

jw
friends

zack, on another thread, said he heard this figure from the platform at both the 2006 elders' school and his recent pioneer school:.

that there were 93,000 elders in 1994, and less than 60,000 today, in the united states.. i thought these figures deserved their own thread, as they are shocking to me, and to see if anyone else has heard anything similar.. i'll post a link to the other thread as well.

.

codeblue

Great thread.....

With the rate of loosing elders, there won't be many left to run the KH's...

43

When Elder's Fade

by zack in

jw
friends

as a publisher, still buying the wt line that they were god's sole channel and any problems, doubts, etc... i had were all a product of my own lack of.

wisdom and or humility or failure of application, i would be shocked and puzzled at how long-time elders would resign and then fade away.

i would wonder: what could have happened.

codeblue

Excellent thread, thanks for sharing this much needed information