most embarrasing thing ever at a meeting ... (page 8)

ballistic

I'll never forget when a sister quoted 1 Cor 15v53 in the Watchtower saying "For this which is corruptible must be put on incorruption, and this which is mortal must put on immorallity."

Angharad

Closer

Have you forgiven your brother yet?

Old sister - losing it a bit - during the Watchtower study, rolled up her magazine and started swatting at a wasp and swearing when she missed it. An attendant attempted to have a word with her (big mistake) and she started swatting and swearing at him. One of the top 3 elders (there were always are a 'top 3' in every cong) gets up from the front and goes back to sort out the commotion (the hall is deathly quiet - no laughing - although I wanted to) Anyway the elder gets her to leave the hall with him and the study re-starts. After 5 mins the elder returns alone and walks back to his seat at the front with a smug arrogant 'I sorted that one out' kinda look on his face.

5 minutes later the door at the back of the KH opens, a loud voice says ' sod your bleeding watchtower then' and a screwed up watchtower gets thrown in and land in the aisle. The door slams shut loudly and the study just carrys on as if nothing had happenned. No one even picks up the crumpled up magazine!

Cheers

Mike

waiting

I've come to the conclusion that we laugh at lowly, smelly, and/or loud things. So I have another contribution.......

My youngest son (7 mos.) had a stomach virus which made him have ***serious**** diareah(sp?) - all the time. I was in the Book Study with him on my lap when it happened......all over my skirt, down my legs, on the floor.....

A sister grabbed a baby blanket and wrapped him in it, taking him to restroom - I, however, just got up, picked up the bottom of my skirt and walked away like I had a bouquet of flowers in my skirt - instead of oozing............

The only saving grace was that the skirt was washable and brown.

The same baby also urinated - a lot. Back then, we wore polyester (yes, I know....). Out in service, he just pee'd all over me. The brother in car asked me what he could do to help - I said nothing, just got out and shook my skirt, went on with the morning. Polyester really is remarkable -

I'm soooooo glad my kids are grown.

waiting

Billygoat

You guys are hilarious! This is an awesome thread! I'm so glad to know that our senses of humor are intact after our JW experiences.

Billygoat

alliwannadoislive

mustbejoking ... you sure you're not making these up ? heehee - i soooooo love the old sister swatter one ... sigh ...

am really enjoying getting to know all you very cool folk ... wonder why i never met any like ya at the hall ...

LovesDubs

Yes we had a pain in the rear in our hall too...Paula Paine, who made it a POINT to sit in the FRONT because of that happening to her :)

Also, back in the days when we still made huge dinners for assemblies, I was working in shifts cleaning the trays with this big steaming spraying hose thingy which instantly gave you a bad hair day and destroyed your clothes. Well the sister before me decided she would save her new silk blouse and took it off before donning the white workers coat and rubber gloves. When it came my shift, she handed me the gloves and WHIPPED off the coat...it was a good 5 seconds before the breeze hit her and she realized she was standing there in her bra LOLOL!!!

Another time...we were out in service with one of the annointed who was a dear brother, full of great stories but getting a little..well..off in his old age. It was a hot hot day and he decided to lighten his load a bit, so went behind somebody's front bushes and stripped down to his Dago T! He payed no attention to those people in the back yard LOL.

Also...we had the Service Overseer visiting our bookstudy which was in the basement of the Kingdom hall...maybe 15 people. He was diligently trying to get across that we should not be afraid of anyone but should approach ALL people..like Jesus when he touched the leper. Except every time he tried to say leper he said LEOPARD...so it was like "and Jesus took pity on the leopard, and reached out and touched the leopard...and.." then the guy sitting next to me handed me a piece of paper on which he had drawn..quite clearly...a picture of a guy in a beard and toga reaching out to a VERY perplexed looking leopard LOLOL!!! I had to leave...I was making extremely rude noises by then in my delirium.

And there is one in every congregation..the brother whose prayers go on and on and on and ....Brother N was a nice guy...rarely got to give the prayer, jumped on the opportunity, but after the first 8 minutes of this closing prayer, we were all getting very fidgety. Like Columbo...he kept saying "And just one more thing, Jehovah..."

Esmeralda

ROFL What a great thread!

My cousin was about four or five, and he and his Mom were in service and he tells her that he has to go to the bathroom. She tells him to wait until she's done with the door they're at. Well, turns out the lady wanted to talk a bit. Finally, my cousin turns around, unzips and starts relieving himself on the ladies bushes *ROFLMAO* My Aunt was mortified, fortunately the lady at the door said "I have sons, don't worry about it!"

When I was about four, a brother was giving a talk on Abraham. He read the scripture about "Abraham's bosom." Now mind you, all the women in my family are, uh, generously endowed to put it mildly. So here I am picturing this guy with a big gray beard and huge boobs *LOL* I laughed so hard that I had to be taken to the ladies room. For the rest of the meeting. Every time my Mom asked me if I was ready to go back out, I'd lose it again. My Mom found it amusing, thank goodness but I don't think the rest of the congregation did, because when we finally left the bathroom you should have seen the looks *lol*.

And my all time favorite... my little brother was about five months old at his first Memorial, and my Mom gave him a bottle to keep him quiet. Well, during the prayer over the wine, it was dead silent in the Hall and just as the brother on the platform says "Jehovah, please bless this wine." My over-fed baby brother burped, loud. All the teenaged brothers sitting in the row in front of us lost it and you could see their shoulders shaking with laughter. A young married sister next to them slapped one of them on the arm so he'd stop laughing. *ROFLMAO*

Thanks for the laughs everyone.

essie

kilroy

Are there two Kilroys on this board? Message from Ofcmad - I noticed you are familiar with Arcadia Cond. Do you know Joe & Jan Arena? I don't know how to do any of this quote stuff. I'm a baby with db's. When I posted the first time, I was corrected and wanted to go back and thank my corrector. However, my post was gone and so was his/hers. But I do not know, if I am the same Kilroy, how you could have gotten the Arcadia Cong idea from that post. I am confused beyond confusion. Help, please!

Kilroy

alliwannadoislive

y'know, our burp and fart ratio is just too high here ... my fave is the sister with the sWaTter ...

most embarrasing thing ever at a meeting ...

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