I'm at the end of my rope with this JW crap

by ithinkisee 39 Replies latest members private

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  doinmypart

  One other thing...

  When I used to donate, I insisted on writing checks because it made it easier for tax purposes. My wife got into the habit of making the donation. You can imagine her surprise when I told her I would handle the donations using cash. She asked a thousand and one questions because she knew how insistent I was on using checks. I ended up telling her the checks cost money and the banks charge us per check written.

  Now I keep a written record of all the "donations" I make to WTS, instead of donating $50/month to WTS my funds support local charities doing something for people.
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  Honesty

  I have seen more than one marriage go south when one partner declares, "I've finally seen the light!" and the poor partner is wondering if they even know the person they married.

  Been there, done that. It's hard but necessary.

  One image is so burned into my mind that it will probably stay for as long as I reside on this earth. One of my elder friends with a big grin on his face and awe in his eyes as some idiot CO comes off with the dumbest remark I have ever heard in my life. You'd have thought the CO just had a revelation from Joe Hoba himself right there on the frigging platform from the adoration my friend was directing toward him. I wanted to stand up and say "WTF. You already have them mesmerized and could let them keep a little of their dignity. But no, you wanna really f&*k them up, prick."
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  trevor

  Ithinkisee

  The price of freedom can be very high. I would not advise confronting your wife in a way that makes her feel you are criticising her or attacking her faith. You have to subtly explain how you are puzzled by a point, or ask for her help in clarifying something that troubles you. Her first reaction is likely to be defensive so - if she cannot offer an answer then let it rest - knowing you have planted a seed.

  The idea is create doubt. If it becomes personal you could lose her. She must feel you are on her side and offering her support which she will need if her faith starts to fade. She cannot handle losing her faith in you and her religion at the same time. The Jehovah?s Witness faith divides people you must avoid falling into that trap.

  I was fortunate in that my wife was influenced by my slow withdrawal and disillusionment and left with me.

  (By the way I think I left a message in your box after your enquiry about my book. Last week. You may want to check or just click on my profile for the information you want)
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  catchthis

  The way they condemn themselves in their own literature - even in the latest magazines - is almost too much to bear.

  Wow. Wouldn't that be the magazine to save! I'm sure they would alter the statement by the time the bound volume and CDROM came out though....

  cacht, of the yslexdia class
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  Sunspot

  What did any of you do when you felt like you were going to explode inside from the hypocrisy, dishonesty, and doubletalk?

  (((ITIS)))

  In answer to your question-----I stopped attending the meetings! Having faced the truth about the "troof" for many months and facing indecision, I simply could NOT sit there one minute longer!

  Yes, I knew all the repercussions that I would face, and I had a few nasty surprises that I never saw coming, but the PEACE in your heart excels the crap that will come your way.

  It almost feels like you're being hypocritical yourself---sitting among all these people who believe the lies and nonsense, and somewhere deep down (at least to me) you feel as if you're harboring a big secret that you HAVE to tell somebody about! There's even a tinge of guilt thrown in because you want these fellow JWs to SEE what you now do!

  There are many mixed emotions. I don't see how some folks on here can sit through those awful meetings knowing it's all crap! They were hard enough to sit through when I was an avid believer! It would make ME feel like exploding, too!

  I've pretty much been a "take the bull by the horns" type of person (sometimes it has backfired in my face) and I had no other choice BUT to walk away. I wouldn't have been fair to ME if I had done it any other way. Either way, it takes guts---but the freedom you gain and the self-respect and integrity you feel more than makes up for anything the WTS can throw at you.

  I just thought that I'd put this out for you to consider. Whatever is right for YOU may be totally different. We all have to respect one another for any choices made in this escape from the WTS.

  hugs,

  Annie
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  Dansk

  (((((((((((ANNIE)))))))))))

  I simply could NOT sit there one minute longer!

  EXACTLY how Claire and I felt. Once we knew we'd been lied to all these years there was never any chance of us setting foot in a KH again!

  We wouldn't even attend any funerals or weddings if asked (which we haven't been) because we just couldn't listen to any more of that garbage.

  Love to you,

  Ian & Claire
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  Balsam

  When I knew I would eventally leave, I just felt like a spy and sort of filed away information for later use. I emotionally removed myself, and just looked for key thoughts I would use later on. I did feel a great sadness for my fellow brothers and sisters because none of them would even consider leaving. I said little and observed a lot.

  I was sometimes bored silly but concentrated on the new life I had planned for myself.

  Balsam
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  cyber-sista

  I had one final straw meeting. Elder "full of himself" was up on the platform giving a little talk on worldly association.

  He said: "Friends we may know people out in the world who are moral people and we may reason to ourselves that these people are really nice --they don't smoke or drink and they live good lives, but brothers I tell you we should not be associating with these people! we should not even be playing basketball with these people! we should not even be speaking with these people, because if we speak with them we may begin to think like them!" (And this was a bad thing?)

  There was a "newly interested" man there at the meeting that night who was sitting nearby. I saw him jump up out of his seat break and run to the back of the KH where he stood with a shocked expression on his face. I doubt if he ever attended another meeting--I believe that was my last. this was during a time when the elder body was coming down on me for being too close to my unbelieving hubby and daughter.(The WT sin of loving ones non-JW family). This talk really clarified the thinking of the elder body--He was describing my family--nice moral non-JW people who are not even worthy of being spoken too! I am still angry about all this WT crapola.

  The best to you, cybs
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  jeanniebeanz

  Before I left, it was beginning to present actual physical reactions to going into a kingdom hall. It made me physically ill. I'd have headaches, cry a lot, shake, and throwup.

  I don't envy you the position you are in. If all goes well, your wife may be receptive to your concerns and actually listen. I hope so.

  Jeannie
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  truth_about_the_truth

  What did any of you do when you felt like you were going to explode inside from the hypocrisy, dishonesty, and doubletalk?

  I go as few meetings as possible. Just enough not to be labeled as a 'concern' but not enough to explode for my own sanity's sake. I figure a couple of meetings a month will put you in that 'grey' area. Family and friends is pretty much why I continue doing this. As far as FS goes...couple times a yr. The rest is reported in the form of "informal" witnessing. Hey! If I count the hours on this board I can even pioneer!