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Valis

if you have to pretend to be interested in religion to be with your mother

that is the worst advice I have heard in a long time....

cab1000

that is the worst advice I have heard in a long time....

Whats the harm? Lots of us pretend, to save relationships with our witness family. Since we know the price of trying to stand against those in the truth, why not play their game? You can choose to be as pig headed as them, and lose each other, fine with me. But if you "pretend" to go along, and retain their freindship...who wins? Both of you.

BTW, thank you for judging my advice, as different views would be a bad thing on a discussion board.

~cab

Seeking Knowledge

You know that our life revolves around Jehovah and his organization

Hello!! Why bother with the letter, clearly she doesn't think of her daughter except what they tell her to think....nice double standards tho....it's ok for them to treat others like scum but when the tables are turned....pathetic!

Valis

different views are fine, but what you call pretending I call not being true to one's self. That is my viewpoint. Besides that I am too old to be controlled by people who rest their own and my financial/educational/emotional furture on something that will never come to be. As well, this is clearly not a case of live and let live on their part. Simple to me.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

cab1000

The daughter is being true to herself, and the parents are being true to there self. At the same time of everyone being themselves, there is no longer a family here. Is it worth that? Can't someone be the bigger person, and (if only in thier head) agree to disagree? Of course, I dont know the individuals here. But my step father is an elder, and I pretend to go along with the religion whenever he brings it up, because I know I'll lose him if I contradict everything he says.

Of course, I am not yet D'fd. That makes a big difference. My step father can talk to me freely, because of that. I suppose that if I were D'fd, and the only way to be able to assoctiate with my family again was to head back to meetings and get reinstated.....well then...that would be a good time to be true to yourself. I guess at that point (and that is where they are) I would have to agree with you. Its just too bad.

All I am saying is that life is short, and if there is a way to get along, do that, before its too late. If you are in a position where pretending would make everything smoother, I say go for it.

~cab

wordlywife

A girl becomes a woman when she sleeps with a man/guy/boy? Nope.........not that I believe anyway.

Becoming a real woman takes maturity. Any young lady or girl can sleep with a man.

And boy, since when can you "tell" someone has had intercourse? Wow, that seems to be a super hero quality. Super Ms.Viginity Detector.....compete with cape.

ww

the_classicist

But it always comes back to that you chose to dedicate your life to Jehovah and you broke that promise.

This is something that jumped out at me. I immediately though, "Yeah, like Rutherford promised that Jesus was coming in 1914, but then he broke that promise. Making things worse, he claimed that something else had happened even though there was no proof. He was unrepentant and its like the time that the GB blamed the people for the 1975 false prophecy."

Valis

cab...yes life is too short and undoubtedly it is sad that people choose to believe things that by default will lead to alienation of the family as a unit. I think my parents over the years just know they can't change me, just like I can't change them. No problems, there, but it gets more complicated when your children are involved and just by "pretending" to agree with that BS you risk involving the kids in the whole mess. My kids don't and won't be going to meetings on my watch, even while at grandma's house. . That means my parents find something other than going to meetings with them or else. Having said that though, this past holiday I think there's some headway. My parents and even the self righteous sister I don't particularly care for came over day after XMAS. They said nothing about the tree, the gifts all over the place, or the ornaments, or my roomie's Jebus/Catholic/Virgin Mary/cross collection, or even the Apostate Gathering magnets on my fridge...*LOL* Didn't talk about religion and had a nice day with food, football, and beer. They got to see their grandkids and everyone left happy. One day I hope this is the norm, but until it really is live and let live unconditionally , we will keep seeing letters like the ones posted.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

cab1000

D.O...When my children visit my witness family, I have no problem letting them go to the meetings. It is rare to visit anyway, and I hope they see that the meetings are boring anyway. I guess there is some risk there..but it doesnt bother me.

I cant belive your family came and visited you like that. I had a post on here about when my Step father came over, and left when he saw our tree..and it wasnt even decorated like christmas. That is funny that you had apostate magnets on the fridge...

I am glad it is seeming to work out for you. But "as for me and my household" its the pretending route...

take care,

~cab

wednesday

Cab, I understand what u are saying. Life is short and really, many of us pretend right now so we can have contact with our families. the mother in the letter did not seem to leave much room for different opinions. I believe I would try one more time"mom I love u and dad, I just do not love your religion and while I respect your right to do whatever u want with your life, I hope u will give me the same respect". Even if it does not work, it will be hard for her to show elders the letter or other fmaily members b/c u clearly say u love her, just not the religion. my kids told me years ago that any religion that tears families apart can't have God's blessings. I finally listened to them

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