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by unbeliever 85 Replies latest members private

Will Power

Steve & almost -

this FOG type of letter must be a theocraticly acquired skill. I have received a few from my husb. that evoke the same feelings.

Not pretty.

sincerely
wp
Elsewhere
Lets see if I have this right...
Her JW friends and family threaten to shun her if she does not follow their religion.
She responds by forming a new set of friends and family.
Her JW friends and family respond by crying foul.
StinkyPantz

I keep thinking how my mother could've easily written this letter. Are all JW moms the same?
wiegel

You gave no consideration for our feelings. You would not even acknowledge our concerns.
I can only imagine that this person spent most of her life giving "consideration for their feelings". Yet, it is ALWAYS about them, always how much they are being misunderstood, mis-quoted, mistreated, lied about, and basically persecuted. What they can't see is that THEY bring most of this on themselves by refusing to live like members of the human family. The arrogance of the WTS mentality is apparent to many, and yet it starts at the very top who flaunt their direct "connection" to God as license to make their own laws and tell other people how to live their lives. The exodus is beginning and it is going to be a very bitter lot for those who adhere to their euphemistic double-talk will be the power-mongers and those who can no longer think for themselves. sad sad sad and more sad........
Valis

So much for becoming your own person! Thanks mom and dad! sheesh what a load of very familiar horse crap..
LittleToe

I was struck by the same thing as Andi:
When I saw you for the first time with your boyfriend I could tell right away that you had fallen in love with him. I also knew that you were fornicating with him.

A quick lesson in how to say something beautiful and turn it to dust, in a single paragraph. Not a wonder they rarely quote James unless it suits them: James 3:10; 2:10-13.
Emma

"They" can't see it because they're brainwashed and being controlled by an evil organization.
If they do it to someone else, it's always justifiable because they're part of "god's organization." If it happens to them, they're being persecuted because they're "god's organization."
It's frustrating, but there is no reasoning with them.
Emma
Gadget

It must have been heartbreaking for your friend to have received a letter like that, please pass on my warm thoughts to her. If she wanted to send a reply, there are a few good points made that she could respond to.
You don?t realize how much we want to have you in our lives. But it always comes back to that you chose to dedicate your life to Jehovah and you broke that promise. Not only did you break that promise but also you are not repentant. I know you say that you got baptized too young and consider it null and void but that topic has been rehashed enough. I don?t think we will ever agree on that. You have told anyone that will listen how we don?t have a relationship with you because you chose to leave a religion. You make it sound so simple.
Is it not as simple as that? Only a few sentences earlier they stated that the shunning is because she turned away from Jehovah. There's a big contradiction here. She could also argue that she has not turned away from Jehovah, only from an earthly organisation whose conduct has lead her to believe that they do not represent Jehovah, but she chooses not to discuss this with them because she knows how much talk like that would upset them and she doesn't want to do that.
You don?t know how many times your father and I cried because we could not help you. I think it was very selfish on your part not to be up front with us and tell us that you did not want to be a witness anymore. Instead you make us wonder for more than 2 years. Yes I have major resentments over that. I know you said that we would not have left you in peace and we would not have respected your decision but I don?t think that would have been the case. I guess it does not matter now.
Do her parents know if she cried because all she wanted to do was be herself, but the threat of being shunned by every person she held dear stopped her from doing so? Subsequent events have proven those fears to be correct. Does she have major resentments over how much emotional trauma she was put under by her parents at that time, I know I certainly have.
How old was she when she got baptisted? How would her parents have felt if instead of getting baptised she had got married? Would they have not tried to talk her out of it because the heart is fickle at a young age and a person is not ready to dedicate their life to another at a young age?
I remember you telling us that you did not want to discuss religion and that we could talk about anything but that. You told us this in our own home. You know that our life revolves around Jehovah and his organization. So to cut to the chase you told us that if we wanted to be in your company we could not discuss Jehovah with you or ask you questions about your worldly life. Do you know how much you were asking of us when you demanded that? Again you were only thinking of yourself.
Did she not want to discuss religion because she knew it would lead to an argument and she did not want to be like that with her parents? Does this not show how much she cares about them by not wanting to pain them more? Do they realise how much of a sacrifice she made there just so she could continue to have a relationship with them? Jesus said that the stones would cry out if nobody else spoke, but they are having to keep quiet on this subject because of her parents views. Do they not know how hard it is for her, and it is because of their views not hers. She was thinking about them in this not herself.
You have caused us more pain than anyone else ever. Don?t think that you are the only one in pain. There is plenty to go around. I hope you think about this letter and realize that you played a major role in all of this and the fallout. Think about it.
There certainly is a lot of pain, but it all boils down to what they said in the first paragraph. "But it always comes back to that you chose to dedicate your life to Jehovah and you broke that promise." Your friend is making every effort to accommodate her parents, but the situation and the pain it causes boil down to a decision they made.
Sorry if I've rabbitted on a bit here, but its very similar the what goes on with me and my parents and I've just vented a bit.
Gadget
iiz2cool

Damn, letters like this make me so angry!
This is not a plea for you to come back to Jehovah.
Then what exactly is it? The entire letter is one huge guilt trip!
You seem to think that it?s easy for us not to have a relationship with you.
Then why do you permit the terms of the relationship to be dictated by a publishing company?
But it always comes back to that you chose to dedicate your life to Jehovah and you broke that promise.
That promise was based on lies that YOU and the WTS told her.
Not only did you break that promise but also you are not repentant.
Hmmmm, is it a sin to refuse to believe lies?
I know you say that you got baptized too young and consider it null and void but that topic has been rehashed enough.
In other words, you refuse to discuss a valid argument. How can a child responsibly make life altering decisions?
Your statements have made an impact on our worldly relatives. Some have now taken the steps to no longer communicate with us and call us bad Christians. I don?t know if that was your intention but that is the result. They won?t even listen to our side so we can tell them the whole story.
1. Are "worldly" relatives more important than your own daughter?
2. The "worldly" relatives are acceptable to you, but your daughter is not?
3. You refuse to hear your child with an open mind, yet condemn others for doing the same to you?
Then threatening the elders with a lawsuit for invasion of privacy. We thought you had lost your mind.
Elders are well known for trying to control the personal lives of others. I think a lawsuit is a good idea.
I think it was very selfish on your part not to be up front with us and tell us that you did not want to be a witness anymore.
Would the end result have been any different?
I remember you telling us that you did not want to discuss religion and that we could talk about anything but that. You told us this in our own home. You know that our life revolves around Jehovah and his organization. So to cut to the chase you told us that if we wanted to be in your company we could not discuss Jehovah with you or ask you questions about your worldly life. Do you know how much you were asking of us when you demanded that? Again you were only thinking of yourself.
How fucking pathetic!!!! Why should it be impossible for a parent and child to have a normal human conversation without incorporating cult propaganda into it? Is there NOTHING ELSE in this person's life?
I am very grateful that you allow us contact with your daughter but you have those conditions attached. Again you ask us not to share our beliefs with our grandchild.
BRAVO!!! I think legislation should be enacted to aggressively prosecute those who would expose minors to cult propaganda!
You have caused us more pain than anyone else ever. Don?t think that you are the only one in pain. There is plenty to go around. I hope you think about this letter and realize that you played a major role in all of this and the fallout. Think about it.
Notice the parent has repeatedly accused the child of being selfish, yet the parent continue's to keep whining about their own pain. This "mother" doesn't give a rats ass about her daughter's pain, just her own. Who is being selfish?
The mother is clearly trying to manipulate her daughter into going back to the cult. In my opinion, the mother is an emotionally abusive person who most likely provided a toxic environment for her children to grow up in.
Perhaps the mother should be reminded that she is not an elder. That means she must have NO spiritual interaction with a disfellowshipped child. That means not talking about religion!
Walter
confusedjw

You make it sound so simple. Your statements have made an impact on our worldly relatives. Some have now taken the steps to no longer communicate with us and call us bad Christians. I don?t know if that was your intention but that is the result. They won?t even listen to our side so we can tell them the whole story. I don?t think you have heard our side or even thought of the pain that you have caused us so I am going to tell you.

OMG that must be so rough! Imagine not being able to talk to your relatives and have them think you are a bad person/Christian and even listen to your side! JW's perfected this treatment for Christ's sake!
Then threatening the elders with a lawsuit for invasion of privacy. We thought you had lost your mind.
Ooooo. Nice. Did they back off at that point? Lost your mind for threatening to sue the elders - found your mind in reality!
Keep in mind they do love you, but their minds are trapped in a cult.

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