Say Something Jehovah's Witnessy........

by minimus 160 Replies latest jw friends

  • heart2heart
    heart2heart

    Brothers and Sisters, it seems that some who used to associate themselves with God's Holy Organization have been led astray by Satan's designs. The great apostacy is amongst us in this time of the end, and the Devil is hard at work to tear us away from Jehovah's organization. Let us stick to Jehovah's annointed ones, those of the great crowd, and also those of the little flock. We need to pay attention to how we walk so as not fall away from The Truth. We can do this by regularly eating from Jehovah's table - he provides us with much food at the proper time! The internet may seem harmless, and it can indeed be a source of information, but at the same time, it is also a tool of Satan. Don't be fooled, brothers and sisters, Satan knows his time is near and he will decieve us in any way he can. Dear friends, remember that bad association spoil useful habits!! Do we want to associate with those who have left the truth? Who have let their worldly appetites take over? What friendship does light have with darkness? Surely, we want to avoid those who have been Disfellowshipped or who have disassociated themselves and who have left Jehovah's spiritual paradise. We must also be careful with those who have become inactive - we do not want to spend too much time with them. We need to encourage those who are inactive to come back to the meetings where they can be built up. Though our lives are difficult in these last days, we must remember to wait on Jehovah. Soon he will usher in the New System and we will all enjoy the beautiful garden-like earth like he intended it to be. Until then , we must use our time wisely, and buy out the opportune time for Jehovah's life-saving work. We must take very seriously the importance of putting Kingdom interests first, and of doing the work of separating the sheep from the goats.

    On that note, I would like to take this time to remind everyone to turn in their Service Reports, make sure you have marked down all of your Return Visits, magazine placements, and Bible Studies. Oh and don't forget to mark down your hours. Those are really important. Also, Brother Territory-assigner asks that anyone who has had a Territory Card out for more than 2 months to please return them to him and get a new one. Please make sure you have marked down all of the "Do Not Calls". Remember, we don't want to overwork the territory!

    Now we will turn to Brother Elder who has the part tonight "How to Get Our Return Visits and People on our Magazine Routes to Accept a Damn Bible Study and Get Their Butts to the Kingdom Hall so we can Convert Them so They'll Be Happy Like us and won't Die a horrible death at Armageddon."

    Aren't we happy to be Jehovah's Happy People? Aren't we glad we are a part of this United Worldwide Brotherhood?

    Heart2Heart

    Having too much fun reading all of these!

  • lv4fer
    lv4fer

    They are not good association. He/She is wordly. I missed your comment at the meeting. Can you make time for Pioneering?

  • minimus
    minimus

    Good work, Heart!......"worldly" is my personal fav.......ORAL SEX IS SOMETHING MARRIED COUPLES SHOULD NOT ENGAGE IN. IT IS HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR.

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    i'm not sure if i wanna laugh at this thread or bang my head against the wall lmao

  • minimus
    minimus

    Nah ah---that could be "self-abuse".

  • bsmart
    bsmart
    He was of the remnant.
  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters

    What a great, yet infuriating, nauseating thread!

    Some "newly inspired" expressions today would be:

    The GOVERNING BODY...

    The Governing Body has decided that...

    The Governing Body warmly welcomes you...

    The Governing Body loves you...

    jw dot org

    types & anti-types done away with ...

    "celebrating 100 years of kingdom rule!" (especially said last year)

    overlapping generations

    blood fractions

    Caleb & Sophia

    Listen, Obey & Be Blessed

  • minimus
    minimus
    Can oldie but a goody
  • millie210
    millie210

    "accepted for a month at Walkill"

    (translation: going to work their butt off for free in return for status recognition in their local cong.)

  • Finkelstein
    Finkelstein

    "accepted for a month at Walkill"

    Bragging on how much your serving Jehovah.

    But will be doing a boring laborious task like cleaning toilets or working with other incompetent brainwashed mental slaves.

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