What Are Some of Your Favorite Urban Legends About JWs??? (page 5)

Stephanus

But this is from Babylon the Great!!

Point made! Jehovah's Witnesses and Mainstream Christians both believe themselves to be the exclusive purveyors of the Truth. Yet they share so much modern mythology...

Just thought of another:

An evangelist was touring New Zealand and his car was about to run out of petrol, way out in the sticks. He stopped at a petrol station and asked the attendant to fill up his car, believing an "impression" that this was what God wanted, and that He would handle it. After the job was finished, the attendant asked for the money and the guy said: "I don't have any money, but My Father owns 'the cattle on a thousand hills' (Ps 50:10). The attendant shook his head and wandered off to find something to syphon the petrol out of the car. Meanwhile, a car pulls up and a lady jumps out and says to the preacher, "Are you an evangelist?" He says that, yes, he is. She says: "God laid it on my heart to give you this money", then she drives off. The attendant comes back with the hose for syphoning and the preahcer hands over the money for the petrol. The attendant says "Why didn't you pay me before?" The preacher answered: "My Father just sold a cow!"

Incense_and_Peppermints

just say "Jehovah" and drive those pesky demons away!

lawrence

Yeah incense-

And don't pray out loud, then again even to yourself, cause Satan reads the mind, or does he, then again depends on which Watchtower one uses. Here's another great Urban Legend - there were some brothers in a concentration camp (thanks to Mr. Rutherford) and they were studying a smuggled Watchtower and were interrupted abruptly by a camp guard and Jehovah blinded his eyes and he never saw the magazine, which then spread throughout the camp and on to some Knorr yearbook.

minimus

JWs always tried to put persecution as a thing to be sought after. If you're being persecuted, Jehovah must love you. I remember something about a concentration camp survivor sharing food with a rat (that Jehovah provided).

lawrence

Minimus-

Yes, that was in the 46 or 47 Yearbook. The rat was a D.O.

minimus

A D.O. wouldn't share his food----even if Jehovah told him to.

lawrence

Minimus-

Excellent! Here's another one I remember about an annointed sister, Sister Foster, and she called on a man, left a book and planned to see him on an R.V. the next week in Chelsea, Mass. But when she returned the next week (faithfully on time) the landlord told her that the man was taken to Bridgewater State Hospital for he had slashed up a call girl in the apartment the day Sister Foster called on the man and placed the publication. We knew we were protected and could walk two by two through the rain, hail, and snow protected as long as the feet were shod with the "good news."

minimus

Chelsea Mass, huh? I'm familiar with that area.

Stephanus

And don't pray out loud, then again even to yourself, cause Satan reads the mind,

This is almost identical to a pentecostal one, with the exception that the Penties had a prescription for this problem. If you pray in tongues, i.e. in your unique spiritual language that the Holy Spirit gives you, and that only God understands, then the Holy Spirit, knowing what you want and need, can pray through you, God will get the prayer, and Satan won't be able to do a thing about it! Neat, huh?

Quotes

oooh ooooh oooh!!!!! I have TWO:

(1) The Pope (JP II) has a sister who is a witness. She has witnessed to the Pope, and he was very overwhelmed, and could see it was the truth(tm), but his only reaction was (looking around at his Pope-lair, no doubt) "Well, I'm afraid that is too late for me.".

(2) Speaking of sex... a former JW friend said his wife was frequently raped by "spirits".... (they must have forgot the part about not being able to materialize since after the flood). Being the logic, intelligent couple that they were, they figured out it was caused by AN OLD PIECE OF USED FURNITURE. They got rid of the furniture, and the problem went away, or so they claimed.

Of course, she likely was experiencing a "waking dream", but I can prove that his solution was *B*S* just by using basic emotion: his wife was very, pretty. If I was a "demon", and had the ability to jump from a piece of furniture and into her, when I saw them coming to destory the furniture I would have moved permanently into walls of the house (or whatever).... it would take an awful lot more than getting rid of an old end-table to get rid of any intelligen, horny demon!!!!

~Quotes, of the "calling on the name of Bruce Almighty" class

What Are Some of Your Favorite Urban Legends About JWs???

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