Oh and minimus I knew you would pick up on the sex with demons thing!! Just tryin to keep you entertained!!
What Are Some of Your Favorite Urban Legends About JWs???
by minimus 93 Replies latest jw friends
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minimus
....that little devil
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karategirl
"little" huh. would think a devil has the power to make it big. He he!
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Nancy Drake
What about the demonized computer mouse that chases you and hisses and snaps at you like a rattlesnake? Anything to keep the witnesses away from the internet, hey?
The dumbest thing I ever heard was some witnesses in a poor country that were going door to door and were very hungry.
Some people came by in a truck ridiculing them for doing the preaching work. Guess what? It was a vegetable truck and they started throwing vegetables at the hungry witnesses to bully them. Turns out that the ridiculers gave them their meal for the day!
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Stephanus
Having not grown up as a Dub, I wasn't privy to the exclusively Dub legends, but we in mainstream (or at least pentecostal) Christendom had our fair share, some of which seem similar in pattern to the Dub ones I've seen reiterated on this board. Here are some I can remember off hand:
The word "Smurf" is a Scandinavian word meaning "demon"
Steven Spielberg once had dream about a demon and used it in a movie - that movie was "ET" and the alien was an exact representation of the demon that Spielberg had dreamed.
That the president of Proctor and Gamble appeared on a talk show and announced that he was a satanist and that company funds were being used to finance the Church of Satan (common among Dubs, too, I believe)
Similar to the lady at the murderer's door is this story that I read in Billy Graham's book Angels: God's Secret Agents: A missionary and his family were holed up in their hut one night - the tribe had had enough of them and were going to put a stop to their work. They surrounded the hut, armed to the teeth (and shouted "Woola! Woola! Woola!" a lot, too, I imagine ) and were there for the whole night, while the family stayed in the hut and prayed. When morning came, one by one the natives left, looking all surly and disappointed. Years later, when the chief of the tribe converted to Christianity, the missionary asked why they hadn't killed them that night. The chief answered "Well, we couldn't, could we, with all those big guys in white robes and drawn swords you had guarding the hut?" The chief and the missionary concluded that the "big men" must have been angels.
A missionary and his family returned to their mission in Africa after a short trip back to the US. The missionary's teenaged kids brought back some of the latest music from the States and played it on their portable tape players. In great distress, the former witchdoctor of the tribe, now a Christian, comes running up and tells the missionary that the music that his kids are playing (the rock beat) was the same music that they had used previously to summon demons.
A team of scientists drilled through the earth's crust and lowered listening equipment to hear the noises generated by the shifting of the Earth's plates. Instead they heard the screams of the tormented souls in Hell.
The Soviet military were going to use tanks and artillery made of Lignostone, a light, compressed wood that is harder than steel, to invade Israel (to line up with the pre-millennial dispensationalist view that the Soviet Union was Gog and Magog of the Bible, and that the compressed wood tanks would satisfy the verse about their weapons burning for seven years )
From the non-pentecostal side: A polymath, skilled in many languages, went to a pentecostal church where people were deeply into their ecstatic "speaking in tongues". He overheard one person ordering fish and chips in Ancient Latvian!
More when I think of them...
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minimus
These bullshit stories are supposed to be unchallanged because God's spokesmen have said these things were true. And the saddest thing is that these stories are believed and applauded by millions!
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gaiagirl
I heard this from a brother who came back from Bethel:
During his time, someone else he knew became very fired up with zeal as a result of a particular talk. Upon returning to his quarters, he held up his NWT bible and said something like "I defy you Satan and all your evil works, and will expose you with Gods Word". Immediately, the bible was knocked from his hand and flew across the room, striking the wall and coming to rest in the corner.
Surely a bethelite wouldn't make something like this up.....
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Stephanus
Here's another version of the angelic protection legend:
Angel bodyguards: This is a quite widespread story involving a university coed. Various versions of the story place her at Ole Miss, or the Universities of Missouri, Florida or Ohio. The event allegedly took place on a college campus where the students were alarmed at a number of recent muggings and rumors of a rape. Sally, a sophomore, fell asleep in the library while studying history. She woke up at 1:03 AM and had the night janitor let her out. She was terrified, because she had to walk across campus to her dorm. She prayed continuously "Oh, Lord, protect me. Place your angels around me." Just as she made it to her door, she heard a blood-curdling scream coming from the path that she had just walked. She phoned the police. They captured the campus bandit, and found a young woman that he had just murdered. It turns out that he had been hiding in the bushes with the intent of attacking the next woman who passed. He bypassed Sally and attacked the next woman instead. When asked why he did not select Sally, he replied: "How stupid do you think I am? Do you think I would attack a girl with two huge guys on her arm?" 7
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minimus
But this is from Babylon the Great!!
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Nancy Drake
What about the burglar who broke into a house that belonged to a JW. He came across a briefcase thinking that there were valuables inside, but it turned out to be JW literature. Of course he contacted the owner of the briefcase to return it after he was enlightened and asked, not only for forgiveness, but a free home bible study as well!