while I was in THE BORG, I could not see life outside as having any meaning....just ending up dead seemed to zap life of any possible meaning it might contain...
but when I actually left I suddenly realized that life still had meaning but I was not at first able to explain why...but gradually it dawned on me that the meaning one finds in life is always relative to ones own contentment... you are always aware that your next move and the move of others has consequences for your happiness and that is the only meaning that exists... I also realized that if death was my ending I would not be around to care any more.
so at first I thought, well, I am now free to experiment, if I mess my life up too much I can always pull the plug... I made a pact with the universe, I would only stay as long as it was fun to stay, as soon as it got painful to the point of making it not worth living I was out... and for a while that gave me a boldness that I had not known before.
then out of curiousity I did past life regressions and now that I have experiences of what seem like past live[s] I am not so sure about death being the end. which is enough to keep me from being too reckless and throwing away a perfectly good body on any stupid extremes.