Hard to get over: No New System

by confusedjw 101 Replies latest jw experiences

  • blondie

    Confused JW, my hubbie survived a serious heart attack last year and he isn't 50 yet. There is no guarantee that you would see your children raise your grandchildren even if there is a paradise on earth in the offing. You would be dead, the grandchildren would grow up, and even when you were resurrected, you could not recapture that growing up time. I'm not trying to be mean, but we must be realistic. The only life we have is the life today; the only life we can live is this moment. Make the best of them. We never know what tomorrow holds.


  • Sassy

    we were just discussing this in chat yesterday..

    it is hard thinking all our lives in one thing and then finding out the future we thought we knew was ahead is now uncertain. I guess for me, since there are no guarantees, I figure that I gave most of my life to the WTS, sacrificing many things because we were supposed to.. on the chance that this is all there is, I am spending the rest of my life on earth doing things for me and my loved ones (not at the expense of others) but I am enjoying life.

  • BrendaCloutier

    Hey, Confused. I appreciate your "loss". As that is what it is, and that is why it leaves a hole. This loss needs to be filled with something: a new belief system, a new understanding or enlightenment.

    Me? I had a difficult time living for the future. I'm much more of a here and now person. This characteristic in me makes it difficult for me to have long-range, even mid-range goals. I've finally learned how to have these goals and work toward them. It's taken a spousal unit that is so long-range oriented that he sometimes has a difficult time with the present! We're great together.

    I have seen my parents waste away pining for the New World, and not achieve, or even work toward their dream of retirement on Hood's Canal (A beautiful stretch of water in NW Washington State. They stayed stuck. Even when I was a JW I swore I'd never do that. (And my spousal unit and I are planning our retirement years in Hawaii).

    As others have indicated, there is much more to this life TODAY. Each day is a wonderful miracle... how are you going to appreciate it? What are you going to do special today, for yourself, for your family and friends, for friends you havent met yet?

    New World? Why don't you work toward making one. You know, the bumper sticker that says "Think Globally, Act Locally"? Get involved with doing something right in your neighborhood, or city. Volunteer. Help clean up a vacant lot for a park. Work with Habitat for Humanity, or Loaves and Fishes delivering meals to shut-in seniors. Work at a cancer or aids hospice. Create your own New World.

    Blessings and hugs on your jorney. It's an exciting one!


  • JamesThomas

    Fretting about a future lost (or one that may be won, for that matter), is like death in that it numbs us to the present -- the only reality there is.

    Knowing that, we are free to choose: life or death.


  • DaCheech

    There used to be this elderette Palmoa Cannizaro who used to say the householder

    "if you listen to this, you will never die!" Well, she's dead!

    She converted more than 600 people (she made quite a few fall out the truth as well, acting as elderette)

    But, no matter what kind of lie whe have been told, there HAS TO BE SOMETHING else, to many strange fenomenons

    are seen here and there!

  • LyinEyes

    After all has been said and done in regards to my exit from the JW's, realizing that there will be no New World is what I grieve about the most.

    I have been working for two years to put the past behind me and moving forward with my life,,,,,,,,which is a great life, great family, finally I feel at peace. The only thing that comes to my mind so much is how short life is. I can only go on what I see, we live and we die, and our children go on without us. I always wanted to live forever and see my children become grandparents and on and on. I still have a tiny spark of hope that maybe there is some kind of spirit or life form on the other side of our human death here on earth.

    I am enjoying life with my family so much I just dont want to have to leave the party someday ,,,,,lol.....I know ya'll know what I mean.

    My Mom is not here with me , it has been 19 yrs since she died and there is not a day that goes by that I dont think of her 1000 times a day. It is as thou she is really still such a big part of my life, she still lives on in my memory that is for sure.

    I know one day my kids will not have me here to share their lives with, but I guess it is just the circle of life, they will be in the shoes I am in now, and I am sure they will miss me too. Just as I miss my Mother, I hope I can leave them with great memories and they can smile as they have their days filled with happiness, peace , love and their children. And I hope my grandchildren keep my kids running with days full of football practice, school events, football games on Friday nites, Saturday morning PeeWee football and all the millions of things that a house full of kids bring to keep ya busy........hehe.

    I guess thinking about it , feeling so blessed with my family right now,,,,, I guess I am damn lucky to have the years I have had with them and the years that are left on this earth. Still,,,,,,,,,,,,it would have been nice to live the dream we were once taught, but who knows, maybe there will be more time for us , somewhere.

  • Markfromcali

    It may sound cliche', but there is that saying dance like nobody is watching and .. something else. That is sort of like saying live like it's your last moment, your last breath - because in a way it is. Someone once made mention of a realization that nothing is ever repeated ever again, so if that's the case it is always new and fresh. Just like the game of football, even if you know the game it is always enjoyable for those who like playing it, the game itself hasn't change and yet every game is different. So it is with .. well really just about anything in life.

  • joelbear

    If you live everyday and do something to want to do then you will not think about what you will not be able to

    do in the future. Plan special trips. eat out at exotic restaurants.

    taste life

    enjoy the music

    live live live

  • Scully

    My family wasn't always JW. I was in Grade 3 when we stopped having Christmas and birthdays and all the other holidays.

    But I remember how crushed and heartbroken I was when they told me that Santa Claus had been one big fat lie - as a way to explain why we weren't going to have Christmas anymore. I got that exact same feeling when it finally occurred to me that there wasn't going to be a New System?, that I wasn't going to Live Forever In Paradise On Earth?, that I would grow old, and that some day I would die.

    The disappointment was unbearable for a long time. I felt like such an idiot!!! How could I have been so STUPID???? Then I realized that all those things I had been waiting to have or do until the New System? were things that I could have or do in the here-and-now, if I really wanted them. All those years of self-denial, all that time spent Waiting On Jehovah?, were OVER... I was going to work for the things I wanted, I was going to enjoy life, I was going to show my kids that life is about LIVING, not waiting for things to happen. It's about accepting what's real and what's there, not becoming inert waiting for pretty fairy tales to come true.

    I remember at one time being willing to DIE for The Truth? - and that really pissed me off when I realized what a risk I had taken - and it would have all been a horrible waste. That's one thing I am truly grateful for, in knowing the real truth about The Truth?. And now I'm free to live, not just merely exist while I Wait On Jehovah?.

    Love, Scully

  • seattleniceguy

    I hear you, confusedjw.

    I think one thing that really shook me up was turning 25. I realized, if I do this one more time, I'll be 50! I never imagined turning 50, much less 75, much less dying in "this system of things." It struck with tremendous force that I would die. Did I want to die clinging to a fairy tale, or did I want to accept reality?

    I looked forward to the New System quite a bit. Since I have always loved learning and building things, I imagined myself in a workshop, inventing new things, advancing technology through open worldwide cooperation. With no need for competition and corporate secrets, I thought, would the pace of development not exceed the current one? For me, the New System was a scholastic utopia, where people would be encouraged to seek their own personal fulfillment.

    Such a utopia will not come - at least not in the way that the Witnesses see. But the funny thing is that even if their New System really did arrive, it would be totally dystopian, if the way they run their affairs currently is any indication.

    On the other hand, each of us has the opportunity to make the world a better place now. And it's moving in that direction. The world won't change overnight, but it does continue to advance.


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