Invitation To Americans To Find Fault With The British..

by Englishman 145 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lehaa
    Haggis - That stuff is nasty.

    Haggis is scottish ya great fool- LOL

    Can us Aussies have a go PLEASE!!!!!!!

    Going to anyway.

    Whinging Poms!!!!

    My dads side of the family are english, my grandmother and I used to have a great time putting on english accents and having whinging competitions, you know the ones " Me and my sis brothers and sisters lives in a matchbox in the middle of the freeway with only one pair of shoes between us and we had to walk six miles in snow six feet deep to and from school" Was great fun.

    My mum and I refer to them as being emotionally constipated.!!!!! LOL

  • glitter
    Haggis is scottish ya great fool- LOL

    Scottish is British, and haggis has got to be someone's idea of a joke/murder weapon... it's got minced up *lungs* in it!!

  • ohiocowboy
    A Detailed Haggis Recipe
    1 sheep's stomach, thoroughly cleaned
    The liver, heart, and lights (lungs) of the sheep
    1 lb Beef suet
    2 large Onions
    2 tb Salt
    1 ts Freshly ground black pepper
    1/2 ts Cayenne or red pepper
    1/2 ts Allspice
    2 lb Dry oatmeal (the old-fashioned, slow-cooking kind)
    2-3 cups broth (in which the liver, heart and lights were cooked)
    What you need: Canning kettle or a large spaghetti pot, 16- to 20 quart size with a lid to fit it; meat grinder; cheesecloth

    What to do: If the butcher has not already cut apart and trimmed the heart, liver and lungs, do that first. It involves cutting the lungs off the windpipe, cutting the heart off the large blood vessels and cutting it open to rinse it, so that it can cook more quickly. The liver, too, has to be freed from the rest. Put them in a 4-quart pot with 2 to 3 cups water, bring to a boil, and simmer for about an hour and a half. Let it all cool, and keep the broth.

    Run the liver and heart through the meat grinder. Take the lungs and cut out as much of the gristly part as you easily can, then run them through the grinder, too. Next, put the raw beef suet through the grinder. As you finish grinding each thing, put it in the big kettle. Peel, slice and chop the onions, then add them to the meat in the kettle. Add the salt and spices and mix.

    The oatmeal comes next, and while it is customary to toast it or brown it very lightly in the oven or in a heavy bottomed pan on top of the stove, this is not absolutely necessary. When the oatmeal has been thoroughly mixed with the rest of it, add the 2 cups of the broth left from boiling the meat. See if when you take a handful, it sticks together. If it does, do not add the third cup of broth. If it is still crumbly and will not hold together very well, add the rest of the broth and mix thoroughly. Have the stomach smooth side out and stuff it with the mixture, about three-quarters full. Sew up the openings. Wrap it in cheesecloth, so that when it is cooked you can handle it.

    Now, wash out the kettle and bring about 2 gallons of water to a boil in it. Put in the haggis and prick it all over with a skewer so that it does not burst. You will want to do this a couple of times early in the cooking span. Boil the haggis gently for about 4 or 5 hours. If you did not have any cheesecloth for wrapping the haggis, you can use a large clean dishtowel. Work it under with kitchen spoons to make a sling with which you can lift out the haggis in one piece. You will probably want to wear lined rubber gloves to protect your hands from the hot water while you lift it out with the wet cloth. (You put the dish cloth in the pot only after the haggis is done; you do not cook the towel with the haggis as you would the cheesecloth.)

    Note: Even if the butcher has cleaned the stomach, you will probably want to go over it again. Turn the stomach shaggy side out and rinse. Rub it in a sinkful of cold water. Change the water and repeat as many times as necessary, until the water stays pretty clear and handling it does not produce much sediment as the water drains out of the sink.

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    Maybe Haggis has something to do with the Teeth Theory.....

  • Sirona
    Turn the stomach shaggy side out and rinse.



  • myauntfanny

    The main problem I had with the British is that they are confusing. When they mean to be rude they are freezingly polite. When they want to insult you they are so killingly witty about it that it can be hours or even days before you realise you've been rejected. Even when they really mean to give a compliment they often mix it with an insult, to avoid being thought sycophantic, obsequious, or wet (over-emotional). The feel deeply superior (for having won the Empire) and deeply inferior (for having lost the Empire). They consider all of America to be basically summed up by the cliche "more money than taste". They consider us to be gauche, crass, unsubtle, literal and yet supremely enviable for our money, power and breezy (unwarranted) confidence. They have a love-hate relationship with their impenetrable class system. They, naturally, are raised with all of this ambivalence and mutual torture and find it highly entertaining, and I don't blame them. But for an American, it's a social jungle. The only hope is to actually fulfill the American stereotype to perfection. Then you can survive, because if you're confident and literal you really don't notice all the subtle currents, and you can't be hurt by them. But go there with any self-doubt, and it's like blood in the water.

    However, I loved the beer (Boddingtons), the telly (League of Gentlemen, Have I Got News For You, Spitting Image, The Office, and so on), the humour generally, the diversity, the buzz, the eccentrics (Screaming Lord Such, Glen Hoddle, David Icke), the music, the incredible creative energy, the art scene, the museums in London, it's amazing. It's like the Grand Bazaar of culture.

  • ball.

    Where on earth did this thing about teeth come from?!!! I think those Americans have been watching our Austin Powers!!!

  • El blanko
    El blanko

    The teeth thing is rather odd wouldn't you say old boy? Tis true in a fair few cases amongst the peasants, but those damned yanks (hehe) are far more superficial and materialistic than we elite who inhabit this dear island of ours. Hehehehe har har harrr har.

    What a load of rot.

    The monarchy - I gob in their general direction and cover any who support them with the same pungent spittle.

  • confusedjw

    The Dog next to the Man in the Yellow shirt said:

    A Detailed Haggis Recipe
    1 sheep's stomach, thoroughly cleaned
    The liver, heart, and lights (lungs) of the sheep
    Jesus Christ! Stop right here who needs the rest of the receipe? What grotesque chef thought of this? Was this some sort of DARE? And if you find someone to eat this, will you then up the ante and mix in the asshole and bladder as well and double dare them?
  • Yerusalyim

    All the Monty Python in the world won't make up for Kidney Pudding...Geesh!

  • Celtic

    My Aunt Fanny, your post was absolutely spot on, brilliant.

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