How did you feel when you found out "the truth about the truth"?
Stupid for having fallen for it. Regretful for unwise choices made and still to be made.
Basically just felt stupid, in a way like a big slap in the face. Betrayed.
Kinda stupid for not seeing through it earlier, but also relieved. I knew something wasn't right, but kept it buried. When it finally couldn't be suppressed, and the whole thing fell apart, I was glad I was free of the oppression and repression. The real chore was trying to leave quietly without over alarming JW family. That's where the real stress was.
Over time, I would have to say there was some anger and bitterness at losing part of my life to this cult, but it gets better in time, and you look forward and not back as much as possible.
Angry, very angry. Both at other people for what they have done and myself for putting up with it all for so long.
You realize that people know it's not the truth and the crap that your family has gone through was just for some old self-righteous jerk to cling to power and enjoy the sycophants for a few more years.
SIAR2 very nice topic post.
My feelings closly resemble everything LITS wrote in his post.
I literally felt like I wasted my whole life. It was a horrible feeling and even worse knowing that you are the only one in your whole family that knows the real truth and that they wouldn't believe you if you even tried to talk about it with them....
So many emotions all boiled in one
I was in shock. I was born into this cult and felt like my whole world was a big fat LIE! I literally had a breakdown. That was in 2008. Things are better now but not great. I still have family that will not speak to me. I pray that one day they will see this for what it really is. A CULT.
I freaked the f*ck out. Stayed home from work for 4 days and stayed mostly in my room. The anxiety and terror I felt is hard to even describe.
After 4 days, I walked out of my bedroom, and right up to my ex and said, "This is a cult."
My filter can be pretty much nil.... 😂😂😂😂
Everyone on here tried to calm me down, but I was way to enraged and ready for a war, and a war was what I got, lol.
Like Londo, I felt relief.
I had already left and hadn't been to a meeting for many years before I stumbled upon this site and eventually read COC. Eventually the relief turned to being pissed off since over the years I've seen how being raised in the cult has affected me. But oh well, at least I'm out now and not wasting my time with meetings and field service.
Numb, how could I have not known or did I, I think maybe I did I just wanted to be loved I guess, it's incredibly complicated. There are moments that I doubt myself, I think it is me all these people who now don't like me because of what, not attending their meetings. I find myself lost in my own emotions, it is all in the stomach the sadness it sometimes brings. An inner battle that you struggle with & don't always win, you have to believe that you will win the war. Then there are moments when I feel like William Wallace, 7 feet tall with lightening bolts shooting out my arse & I can shout FREEDOM.
I like to come on the forum it helps to confirm that I'm not nuts'(well) I mean it's not me it's them, I'm not alone, & others are having it so much tougher. I admire their courage it helps me to find my own.