I think you are one of the more level-headed JWs. I include my parents (to some degree) in that group. I am still a JW, but am wrestling with how to continue. I have seen many atrocities over the years. I have seen many many changes in doctrine. What I can't get past is two things. How can I stay when the current doctrines make no sense and I'm not allowed to express any disagreement with those doctrines? It isn't mentally healthy. Secondly, how can I teach to others doctrines that I don't agree with and are probably false? As an example the generation doctrine that I brought to my RVs and studies from the 80s to 95 and from 95 - 08 were false doctrines by our current understanding.
Interestingly, I mentioned the above, but stated it differently, in my first post to you and you ignored it. Instead you replied to my rebuttal of your analogy of us being like an ex-husband.
You ask why many of us don't just go away. Part of it has to do with how we are treated as ex-JWs. The organization doesn't leave us alone. We are cast as "mentally diseased" and our friends and family are told not to associate with us. Many of us don't even want to discuss religion with our families. We'd just like to have a normal family relationship. Unfortunately, the WT org makes that impossible as there is no way to leave the org and not lose family and/or friends. So comparing us attacking the org to an ex-husband monitoring and attacking his wife is only a proper analogy if the wife was unfairly keeping the kids from her ex-husband and lying to them and to the authorities to keep the kids away. In that case it would be proper for the ex-husband to monitor his wife and use whatever legal means necessary to get his kids back. That is how we feel and why we continue to "attack" the org.
You have a point that can strengthen my analogy. When children are choosing to stay with mother and consider the dad as one who has gone astray, dad is wasting time monitoring his ex-wife.
The question comes down to why are the children choosing to stay with the mother? You say that they consider the dad as one who has gone astray, but why? Did the dad really go astray? I haven't gone astray. I haven't done one immoral thing by bible standards, yet if I let on to my family or friends that I disagree with a teaching I am now to be shunned. Understand that in your example it's the mother (the org) that is telling the children (all JWs) that dad (us) has gone astray. The children are not allowed to make up their own mind. They are told that if they listen to us then they will become like us, so they don't hear our side. Not only that but even if we don't care to pull them away from their mother (the org) she's telling them that they cannot even speak to us. It is mother who is enforcing the shunning by telling the children that it's the right, loving, and faithful (to god, but really to the org) thing to do.