I need advice quick...and a hug. (page 4)

Lady Lee

Dean be prepared for her to start yelling religious freedom and persecution crap.

If she does this in front of the kids remind her that religious freedom works both ways and remind her again you will not allow her to bully, frighten or force the children to go to the meetings. They are old enough to choose. Some get baptized younger than they are.

Remind her too that God wants people to love Him not fear Him.

As much as possible do not have these arguments in front of the children. If necessary ask them to go out to a friend's house while you and the missus talk about this.

Let the children know you are there for them and have no intention of leaving them. And let them know you will listen to what they have to say if they are troubled and they probably are.

When you and the missus settle down and can talk reasonably see if you can arrange a family meeting. Let the kids know where you stand. Do this in front of her. Do not create secrets and say things behind her back. Be upfront and honest. They are all old enough to deal with this - they are right in the middle. They need information to help them feel secure as possible in all of this.

Do not put her down or her beliefs. Just acknowledge they are different than yours

Sort out for yourself if you can manage the kids on your own and how you would do that. Be prepared when you go to the lawyer. Find the kids birth certificates, your marriage certificate, home ownership papers, cars bank accounts any savings, etc. Get these now before she does and put them in a safe place

gumby

Her plan is to sell the house and split it fifty fifty, but..................... she says it's easier for me to move out in the short term than her because she wants to take the kids................ I told her no way. I'm not leaving the house and why the hell should SHE get the kids.

50/ 50 my ass!....that will change with coaching from fellow dubs. They couldn't care less if you got a dime and neither will she when it comes down to it.

Easier for you to leave my ass! She's the one with the problem.....not you.

She wants the kids my ass! See above statement.

Now I'm done with the "my ass" statements.

She sounds as though she has already had some coaching.......and it will get worse. Keep the attitude you have. Good luck

Gumby

Mulan

If she does this in front of the kids remind her that religious freedom works both ways

This is a very good point. Use it.

I agree you need to consult an attorney and right away. If you want to save the marriage, tell her that and that you love her and have no desire to end things. Remind her that "Jehovah hates a divorce". Use her religion to "convict" her in her own eyes.

onacruse

((dmouse))

My ex gave me 24 hours to leave (after 17 years married), threatening to call the police and accuse me of abuse, even though I'd never laid a finger (physically or verbally) on her or the kids, and didn't interfere with their JW stuff. She just wanted me gone, and she'd been carefully coached on how to get me out. Our kids were both in their early 20s.

I would've done things differently if I'd had the good advice that's been stated here.

Hang tough, my friend.

Craig

wednesday

I changed this afer reading your recent post. just get to a lawyer and don't leave the house. Call the police if she gets abussive. Don't make it easy on her.

bikerchic

I'm at a loss for words and besides you've gotten some very good advise here. I'm good at hugs though so here is a big hug for you!

((((((dmouse))))))

Kate Visit Smiley Central!

WildHorses

Dean, I would be careful. Does your wife work also? If not, who's to say that when you leave for work, she doesn't have the locks changed and say that you left the house on your own? If I were you, I'd take at least tomorrow off from work. That way you will be able to speak to a lawyer first.

Worldlygirl

I need advice quick...and a hug.