I need advice quick...and a hug. (page 3)

Elsewhere

Have you called the police? This sounds like a classic case of Parental Kidnapping.

(((((((DEAN))))))) Hugs 'n kudos to ya....you're getting some excellent advice here on this thread...do all of it that's necessary and......see an attorney FIRST thing Monday morning and file for custody.....the rest will take care of itself in a manner which will assure your success in protecting your children, I'm sure....be prepared that it will take time....that's the worst of it...the time and the investigations that will ensue...there's NO way that a judge will take her side considering her attitude....

Wish you the best,

Frannie B

Mulan

((((((((((((DEAN))))))))))))))

So sorry for such a miserable day for you. The elders will likely tell her to go home and talk to you, and try to work things out, if she is honest about how things went. If they call on you, you can inform them of the real state of the home.

Keep us informed.

dmouse

Update:

She's just come back, with the girls.

Once they are settled in the other room she came in and told me she can no longer bear to be in the same house as me and has asked that I leave! Her plan is to sell the house and split it fifty fifty, but she says it's easier for me to move out in the short term than her because she wants to take the kids. I told her no way. I'm not leaving the house and why the hell should SHE get the kids. So no progress yet.

Looks like it's getting messy, Geez what a bad Sunday!!!!

Thanks y'all for the moral support, will let you know if anything else happens

Dean

Frannie Banannie

Dean, remember this one thing re: her return and request that YOU leave....legally, whoever leaves the house has done the abandoning....evidently, your wife discovered that while she was "out" and returned to request that YOU leave, so she'll have the upper hand in divorce, custody and community property issues...

Frannie B

SixofNine

I just don't know where I stand on this and didn't want to make things worse.

You're in a very, very good position. You have at least two kids, and probably three, who will testify to your level headed parenting, and your wifes hystrionics.

SixofNine

I told her no way. I'm not leaving the house and why the hell should SHE get the kids.

exactly the right attitude!

Lady Lee

Dean Frannie is right - I gues in the US but here in Canada too - if you move out you will be considered as abandoning the family. Don't move out - Don't agree to anything until you have spoken with a lawyer - a good one TOMORROW

Scully

((((((( Dean ))))))))

Hold your ground, my friend. State in no uncertain terms that you are not about to abandon your family (that's right, herself included).

Since she is the one who finds the situation intolerable and is the one wreaking havoc on you and the children, you might be able to have her removed. Does she have a job? How does she intend to support the children if you split up and she doesn't have a job? Maybe she would be willing to take a "cooling off period" at her mum's house, allowing the children to have liberal access to her, but without disrupting their living arrangements.

Perhaps it's time for you to bring the elders in to have a talk. Her behaviour certainly is not a demonstration of the "quiet and mild spirit" that a Christian Wife™ is expected to display. Even the WTS acknowledges that an unbelieving husband should be treated with respect. She doesn't do that, nor does she set the example of respect for the children to emulate. On the other hand, you have given her far more latitude than even the most opposed never-JW husbands would. The elders should have the best interests of your family at heart - that of keeping the marriage intact despite your differences in beliefs (you could say "at this time" if you want to plant the seed that you may eventually return to the JWs without being definite about it, it also could imply your hope that your wife and children may join you on the dark side someday ).

I wish I could make all of this just go away for you. I really do.

Love, Scully

Scully

I liked Shoshana's recent advice: have consultations with the top six or seven divorce lawyers in your area. They will not be able to represent your wife after consulting with you on grounds of conflict of interest. It will be expensive initially, but if you end up going through a divorce, you'll have that in your favour.

Love, Scully

I need advice quick...and a hug.

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