Stupidest thing a JW ever told you

by Nosferatu 193 Replies latest jw friends

  • bonnystar

    Once an older sister had told my mother that she was upset that this other older sister kept forgetting her keys to her apartment- and had to keep asking the worldy manager to let her in (since this lady gave her a good reference on her application) she would say " And i recommended her!" She thought the whole thing brought reproach on Jehovah. Idiot!

  • 144001

    I was told that a JW family was watching the "Bewitched" television show, and decided to turn it off due to its "demonic" content. When they shut off the TV, a hand came out of the television and turned it back on to the "Bewitched" television program. The "demon" in their television refused to allow them to change the channel or turn the TV off. This happened repeatedly until an elder was brought to the house to "exorcise" the demon from the television. The moral of the story was to avoid watching television programs such as "Bewitched" because to do so constituted "inviting the demons into your home."

    I've invited that demon to my home, and hope he/she takes me up on the offer. I'm planning to serve as that demon's agent for negotiations with the television networks for the purpose of contracting that demon's services to influence the Nielsen ratings.

  • pamkw

    I was once given a bunch of clothes for my son, and a couple of them had smurfs on them. My son liked smurfs, and my aunt was like "I never let my kids wear smurfs." I think I said something like my kid does, and took the shirts. She muttered about that for the rest of the day. She kept telling me to throw them away. Always thought the whole smurf thing was unbelievable.


  • patio34

    I hope this hasn't been made yet, but at least one JW woman has said this:

    "There's so many fat JWs because everything else that's fun is forbidden! That's all they have left to do that they enjoy." A little grain of truth there, I think, lol.

    And a young brother said that the Bible said that women are generous. I said where? He said: (somewhere in Psalms) "the soul of the generous one would be made fat."

    Disclaimer: I mean no offense to anyone who has a weight problem, as I have had weight problems too my whole life (but not anymore, praise the Lord!! ----->no offense at that either said the atheist, lol). Anyway, it's under the thread of "stupid things JWs have said."

    Once when I was at a convention, I sat on the main floor and probably 80% of the people there were HUGELY obese. I was thinking all day that someone should give a talk about overeating, lol. Well, the next day I sat up in the upper levels and most people were normal-weighted. The heavier ones sat on the main floor because there were no arms on the chairs and no stairs to climb.

    Pat (hoping NO ONE is offended at this post)

  • pamkw

    Here's another one. Just a few months ago, I was talking to my mom, and she commented that my brother's little children will probably not grow up to be adults. She said it so matter-of-factly. Like it was no big deal.

    When my oldest son was born she said, "he'll never have to go to school, etc. He will be 21 this summer.

    Why would you want to worship a so-called god that would kill your grandbabies?


  • flower

    From a dork brother giving a 'special needs' lecture about young people missing meetings..."if you can go to the mall, you can come to the hall."

    From my mother last year explaining why my sisters, aunt, uncle, cousins and father were all completely ignoring me ...."they are doing it for you, to get you to come back". Right, because they "love" me so much right?

    That one takes the cake.

  • DIM

    #1 Stupidest thing said from the platform:

    This would be from Brother Dentler's visit to the Willow Grove, PA congregation, late fall 2001

    "people in NYC are getting AIDS and other diseases because of TAINTED BLOOD in the aftermath of 9/11"

    uh, there weren't that many survivors that needed blood, dumbass. He totally made it up. My wife and I have commented many times on the fact that he looked around right before he said it, like he knew he was getting ready to tell a whopper.

  • RR

    I have two memorial ones.

    1. "I notice you don't comment at the meetings, you know a lack of commenting is a sure sign of spiritual weakness"

    Comments of Presiding Overseer, Terry White to me aat the end of the Watchtower study towards the end of my exodus from the JW's.

    2. "You, and your family will die at armageddon, if you do not join Jehovah's organization"

    JW couple who after five visits to our home, when asked what will happen to me and my family, after they stated they would not be returning anymore.


  • talesin

    Don't buy used clothing or books because the previous owner may have worshipped Satan and they might be 'demonized'.


  • hillary_step

    lol..Thought that this should be btt for those who enjoy a Duncan tale.


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