Stupidest thing a JW ever told you

by Nosferatu 193 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lutece

    That anything good that happens to me is because the demons don't want me to return to Jehovah.

    Anything bad that happens to me is because I left Jehovah.

    I can't win either way.


  • dancnfool_60

    there are so many things told that are just unbelievable

    last year the elders told me that I was not scripturaly free because my ex took back his admission of adultry. I asked all the elders and the CO where in the Bible it says that at the mouth of two or more witnesses a matter is made firm (unless you take it back).

    the CO told me that I may be right about this but I have to wait until the faithful slave comes to that realization....

    NOW!!!!!!......wouldnt that make me smarter than God...if the faithful slave gets thier info straight from God?

  • SanFranciscoJim

    (1) The elder who studied with me in 1974 told me that all I had to do was "stop being gay" for a few months, get baptized, and I was sure to survive Armageddon.

    (2) When I was disfellowshipped, one of the elders on the judicial committee told me that in order to be reinstated, I had to come back with a wife and child of my own fathering to prove to them I was no longer gay.

    (3) There was a brother in my congregation who could not shave because he would get horrible welts on his face, and maintained a very neat, trim beard. I actually heard one of the elders say to him "It would set a fine example for the rest of the congregation if you shaved your beard and suffered with welts on your face."

    (4) At the last memorial I attended, the PO who gave the memorial talk said not to eat or drink any of the emblems while they were being passed "because there wasn't enough for everyone". I suppose he somehow missed the Bible verses telling the story of the loaves and fishes.

  • aarque

    An elder pulled me aside once and said that all married women should wear girdles. Being a "good little dub" I bit my tongue... but why was a married man such as he was looking at other women like that?

    I began working at the local library and the presiding overseer told me if anyone came in and asked me for a book on abortion, I should not look for it for them. In fact, I would be better off just quitting rather than "hand out" information on drugs, sex, drinking, etc.; if I didn't quit, I would be compromising my spirituality. I faded a few years after this. I finally did leave that job....more than thirty years later!

    My dad is not a Witness, yet he's worked hard all his life, honest in all his dealings with others, supported his family, doesn't drink, has been happily married for more than 55 years; yet a "loving" Witless told me once that my dad was not worthy enough to survive Armageddon. Who is he to judge?????? It was that thoughtless comment (along with some other stuff) that pushed me into fading away more than 25 years ago.

  • heianderen

    There are some chimpanzees that have been trained to be able to comunicate with humans using a graphic symbolic language, you may also know the gorilla Koko, that use sing language. These experiments have demonstrated that these animals are conscious beings, ans have emphaty to some degree.

    How a JW elder expain this:"Jehovah created them to help humans in the harvest work and gathering fruits."

    This same elder explain the existence of dinosaurs:
    "Jehovah created them to compact the ground (they are big and had big feet) or to eat the excess of vegetation, when their asigned work was done god no longer needed them" (I don't know if this translation is good)

    I wonder if Jehovah created worms to serve fishers in their work.


  • Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.
    Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.

    Loads of goods tales here which goes to confirm that naivety and stupidity amongst the dubs is not confined to any particular culture, but is universal.

    Some experiences are unbelievably funny for their being almost incredible. You just have to love 'Shooting the pipes'.

    To show that Australians also share in this moronic reasoning - from a kingdom hall platform, service meeting part - "Whisky is the drink of the devil".

    Yeah, how true - just shut up and pass me the bottle.

    cheeses - and he thought they had high regard for matters pertaining to the spirit.

  • kilroy2

    An elder [dick schroder] came to my house to "encourage me" ,I started to ask a lot of questions that were not friendly to the org.

    He started to rub his head and went to the door saying " their will be many people who think for themselves that die at armageddon

    and then left.

    I just stood there thinking what the hell just happened. I thought that these guys had all the answers

    penny lounsberry used to bring a convicted child molester to the hall , she has 4 kids 2girls and 2boys

    when others would rais concern she would get upset and say jesus died for everyone and walk away. by the way the family wont work and lives on welfair. thair property is the type where the home has tires and the cars dont.

  • Disheartened

    Here's another stupid one: That Charles Taze Russell was prophesied about in the bible-and put an end to the "great apostasy".

  • czarofmischief

    Whiskey ain't the devil's drink.

    Tequila is!

    Ay caramba!


  • Red Witch
    Red Witch

    when an elder told me, it's alright, no-one needs to find out.....

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