Stupidest thing a JW ever told you

by Nosferatu 193 Replies latest jw friends

  • Phizzy

    A JW told me that I "can't be really happy" now that I have left. That from an active member of the most miserable and misery making religion on Earth.


  • goatshapeddemon

    Jehovah's Witnesses are the happiest people on earth.

    Chewing bubble gum alters your mind so you shouldn't chew it out in service. <- district convention talk

  • tiki

    long ago and far away in another world....i was out in service with a young married ultra-submissive wife with an over-bearing husband who would write up a list of chores for her to do that if that weren't bad enuf....i remember one that really floored me. she was talking about making the bed before you go out in the morning....well, the reasoning was....that what if the angels came to visit your house while you were out in service and they saw an unmade would make them sad.

    yeah.....i know.....doesn't sound for real, but trust me it is and i will NEVER forget it.

    another gem came from a kid about 14/15 whose father was a total zero, and mother a total doormat.....this kid was bragging that he couldn't wait to get married to have "someone to boss around". that's the mentality. sad......

  • Zordino

    A old "friend" JW of mine told me that some of the anointed will still be alive when the big A hits and that they are very old now so its just a few years away at most.

    totally stupid!

  • sseveninches

    My mom told me that I have to be careful when reading the bible, because Satan might try to use it to trick me.

  • prologos

    this does not sound stupid but it is:

    CoBOE's (PO)'s wife to couple , as they bring newborn the first time to KH: " aaw,--isn't that cute, --all I have is my 2 dogs [as an equivalent to to offer you for it]--.

    stupid, for it reveals the real, attempting - to - control mindset,

    reflects so strongly on her upbringing: "good job, mama and/or dad!!" and last but not least,

    - on the spirit that appoints and maintains such exemplary families as local leaders.

    yes, in 1 out of 7 congregations, SUCH ladies co- lead Rev. 2:22.

  • joe134cd

    I think I've got the best one.I mentioned about the conti case to a brother and I was immediately stopped with the reply "I'm not interested in media hype".went onto another Dubbie about this & was asked how I found this out. I bull shitted & told them I stumbled across it in the N.Y times. The reply I got was "reading foreign news papers was going to confuse me, and this was apostate information. Yup you got it. The NY times had gone apostate against gods people, and this foreign paper had confused me. I give up.

  • joe134cd

    Oh yeah got another one that is up there with the "foreign paper confusing me".i remember telling this elder that I had just seen Star Wars. He replied (& I was made to feel bad about it) that he had no intention of taking his son to see it because it had the word "war" in it, and as true Christians we aren't meant to practice war. Self righteous A-Hole.

    Another one as a teenager raging with hormones I remember referring to a member of the opposite sex as pretty hot. Then an elder the following meeting telling my parents I had unclean speech.

    Asked to take a poster down in my room by an elder because person had a cross as an earing. Oh man I could write a book on all the weirded and wiled things I've heard.

  • poppers

    My mom told me that I have to be careful when reading the bible, because Satan might try to use it to trick me.


  • Think About It
    Think About It

    Years ago and just of the blue while in FS a brother said, "You should quit your (good) job and Pioneer." I thought to myself....that would be absolutely insane to do. Nevermind that I was raising a young family at the time, and no alternative means of supporting them was mentioned. Unreal how many JW's make dumb financial decisions, because of the prodings from the WTS or some zealous J-dub.

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