I'm getting baptized

by BlackWolf 150 Replies latest jw friends

  • shepherdless

    Hi BlackWolf, plenty of good advice from others here. I can't add to that. The strategy of Lisa Rose a couple of posts above, is a good strategy.

    I was once pressured into something major when I knew it wasn't right. I know how that feels. I can tell you it is a lot worse, long term, if you give into that pressure.

    It sounds like you are not going to make the same mistake. That takes strength of character. Well done! Things may be tough now, but if you get through this, you will look back on this episode of your life, and be proud of yourself for being true to your principles.

    Best wishes

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep
    The best thing I never did was get baptized. My relationship with my parents wasn't great, but it was better than it would have been if I was eventually shunned for DF/DA, especially for them when they got old and their Jehovah was still stuck in the privy.

    Explain that you want to be baptized in the strictest biblical traditions.

    You know that the bible explains how to be baptized according to Jesus's instructions.

    That is to be baptized in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.

    Not in the name of the father, the son and Gods sole channel or organization.

    Of course, in all honesty, it must suck to be you now. You have my prayers

  • Sail Away
    Sail Away

    Black Wolf, I am so relieved that you have decided that you are not going to get baptized! I understand that your mom and dad are not treating you in line with your rights as a human being, but for me, it was so very important to start seeing things differently than the way I was raised and the way I raised my kids. We do have the right to change our minds, to say no and make decisions for ourselves, even if that makes others unhappy or uncomfortable. That's on them. The whole "Let your Yes mean Yes" mentality just doesn't work in the real world. Things change. Things are not black and white. As ex-JWs we need to learn a whole new way of thinking and being which includes taking responsibility for our own life and decisions, to go and to work toward living a life of freedom from control and judgement, including our own judgmental thoughts and behaviors. Try not to be hard on yourself. You are doing the best you can. Hang in there and breathe. You can do this!



  • pbrow

    I would be in the "dont do it" camp but I am not a 15 year old trapped in the situation you are in. I am 30+ who lives my own life.

    Do what you need to do to survive but make the commitment that you will get out. Sometimes at such a young age we cannot see past tomorrow, next week or even next year. Baptised or not, you will get through this. You will face consequences both ways. The very fact that you are on this website shows that you are worlds away from where I was when I was 15. I had no idea there was life outside the bubble. You do and it is great! Buy your time, firm your resolve and do whatever you need to do to survive.

    If you have to get baptized you will face very real consequences. If you dont get baptized you will face consequences. Be true to yourself always even if you have to "play a role" for others. Most importantly, remember that tomorrow is always coming, you have options, you will make new friends and you will get through this!

    I do not know you but please know that you are loved.


  • Giordano

    Looking beyond this Baptism issue it's time for you to get a job. Your sixteen plus and you can work.

    I am writing you from South West Virginia.

    Now without adding any more grief to your life how about going the apprentice route? My DIL is an equestrienne and 'hire's' horse savvy teens to help out on her horse farm in exchange for riding time. They learn the mechanics of running a horse business......... selling, buying, caring for and treating the various horses who I understand have their own temperament. It's a great environment to be in for someone your age and you'll meet other horse enthusiasts. Eventually you'll become a 'payable' ranch hand and be worth an hourly wage.

    If I remember correctly making art was another big thing in your life. The same option is available. My wife is and has always been an artist in fact we made our living as artists.

    If you have a gallery in your area get familiar with the local artists they show and make it known you'd be available for studio clean up work in exchange for a lesson or two.

    I can tell you from experience that most artist's don't take the time to scrape paint off the floors or clean up their studio's more then once a year. Include in your search metal or wood sculptors as knowing how to weld or chisel is also an art form.

    I think its time to add a life into your young life and broaden.......... in a safe mature way............ your options and contacts.

  • BlackWolf

    I actually do have a job, and I plan on getting another one soon. I live in Florida if anyone's curious.

    Anyways, today I tried to tell my mom that I wanted to wait, that I didn't have enough time to be ready before convention. She said "why? You have six weeks, and I've already called grandma and she's planning on coming"

    I don't know what to do now, I cant come up with a good excuse. Im feeling kind of helpless. I'm afraid she's going to find out I don't really want to be a witness if I just tell her I changed my mind and that I don't want to be baptized. Then not only will my parents view my as evil, but also all my extended family thats planning on coming down here.

    I feel very afraid and trapped. :(

  • just fine
    just fine
    It's going to be ok either way. Do what you have to do until you are in a position to do what you want to do. Don't let your emotions get the best of you. You will make it through this and be ok.
  • Crazyguy
    Sounds to me you can't win for loosing your parents are going to shun you when you leave weather your baptized or not. Plan for your future.
  • out4good4
    I tried to tell my mom that I wanted to wait, that I didn't have enough time to be ready before convention. She said "why? You have six weeks, and I've already called grandma and she's planning on coming"

    So much for baptism being a personal decision and dedication to "le sock puppet jah". .....the pressure is on to fill everyone's expectations.

    Granny is planning on coming....not that she already has plans to come. There is still a way out of this , but you're going to have to act and not predicate every decision you make on whether or not it is convenient for or hurt any of your relative's feelings.

    Sucks to be in the position you're in right now, I understand, but your family are going to go off on you if you don't want to be baptised now, and doubly so if you walk away from the religion after you're baptised. Like an earlier poster said, the expectations to conform won't stop with baptism, in fact they will increase exponentially. they'll be expecting you to tow the party line, believe everything and do everything they say..... marry and have kids with the first pimply faced brother with privileges and a hard-on that shows you any attention.

    It's just a matter of when you want to rip that ban aid off, now......or later.

Share this