by Winston Smith :>D 97 Replies latest jw experiences
Winston,
From your last reply to this thread it is obvious that the elders' only concern was to check to see if you still feel the WTS is the voice of God. Pathetic.
After hearing some recordings of judicial committees, my wife and are adamant to never sit through one of those lynchings.
You have a PM.
“Do you believe that the WTS is the F&DS, and that we have to follow their direction?”
This is their DFing question. A good answer for some would be "If they claim to be the F&DS, who am I to say otherwise? As long as they are taking the spiritual lead and what they say is in accord with God's word, then I will follow their direction."
This answer is vague enough to satisfy my conscience and has the HUGE loophole that was they say has to be in accord with the Bible to follow it.
Winston, this is all BS. If you ever need someone to watch your back, call me, I"ll be glad to help. There are alot of links to this web site that can help. Plus there are alot of well informed people here. Feel free to ask for any information.
Almost scary that your name is Winston, the name of the protagonist in Orwell's 1984.
You've gotten some good advice, that is, tape record the next session and every other session. Get every word. And I suggest you do what I did, do not meet with them in the KH. Meet with them in your own home, or in some neutral place like a meeting room in a library or some other place. But do not meet with the lion in his own den. Simply refuse. You have the right, and it will demonstrate that you aren't impressed with their puny "authority". You can only be walked on if you lie down first. Refuse to lie down from the very beginning, demonstrate your courage and your independence. Refuse to put foot in the KH. And, because of her mental instability, refuse to allow your wife to meet with them at all. Or make them meet with your wife in the presence of her therapist. They'll LOVE that one.
But give every evidence that YOU have taken charge of these so-called meetings. Make them fear YOU. It can be done. I've done it. And there's no sweeter feeling on earth.
Frank
And right after that they then turn to the scripture about how unbelieving husbands can be won over without a word by a faithful wife’s conduct.
This is the worst thing that the Elders did. They basically said "You're not doing a good job as a wife".
Winston, I think you handled this quite well. You turned the tables on them and THEY were the ones who were nervous at that meeting. Very good! Also, you stood up for you wife in that meeting, BIG TIME. I just hope your wife is able to see what happened in that room, and see that something's not quite right. I hope for your sake that she is able to open up her eyes.
I think we all know that leaving the JWs would be really good for her improvement, but as with everything, SHE has to be the one to do it. It's going to be a difficult battle Winston. Keep strong. The tougher you fight, the tougher you get. Remember to take a bit of a break now and then, or else you'll get worn out.
I've been keeping an eye out for an update from you ever since you arrived here. Thanx for the update!
Winston. Thnaks for the update. Happy to hear your wife is receiving the professional help she needs.
Yes. You were ambushed. Any meeting at the KH is most likely to be a JC in one form or another..Sorry you had to experience that.
And yes as amac pointed out, the Gestapo unloaded the "identlfy the apostate question"
“Do you believe that the WTS is the F&DS, and that we have to follow their direction?”
A response in the form of amac's should be ambigious enough to satsify them, especially the part about...As long as they are taking the spiritual lead and what they say is in accord with God's word, then I will follow their direction."
It's too bad the WTBTS can't follow JWD's Posting Guideline #7 Impersonating or falsely claiming to represent a person or organisation.
Keep your chin up, and try and stay clear of the viper pit.
xjw_b12 "Millions Now Living Will Never Die Know"
Winston, this is gut-wrenching. Wish I could help--but I am holding you and your wife in my heart.
I want to break their fucking legs. SixofNine
I’ve envisioned similar. Maybe next time I can invite them over to my place for a ‘sit-down’ and have a few of my apostate friends waiting
It is absolutely the worst thing in the world to tell a suicidal person that they are feeling that way because they are simply not good enough. the elders' only concern was to check to see if you still feel the WTS is the voice of God. Pathetic drwtsn32
I agree on both accounts. ‘Pathetic’ to the nth degree.
BTW, I got your PM, Thx!
horrible, horrible, horrible. exactly who do they think they are?!?!?! >:( tink
For some dumb reason I always have a hope before each of these lynch hearings that maybe a light will click in their heads or at least a seed of doubt will be sown. I’m a glutton for punishment I guess. Each time I meet with these guys their arrogance escalates beyond my expectations. Which is saying alot because I have read here the stories of other good people being treated poorly, so I should know what to expect.
you could answer every question with a tearful, "I can't deal with this right now -- I have to think of what's best for my wife. I will address this issue at a later time, when she is feeling better. I'm sure you understand." Nina
You know what, I really consciously tried doing that. Maybe I wasn’t tearful enough or I was just to ready to jump into ‘fight’ mode. They just would not back down. I think they are taking this whole thing as a personal challenge on their loyalty to jehover.
And if possible get that asinine comment of theirs on tape. You could ever so sweetly threaten them with a lawsuit on the grounds of alienation of affection if they dare to interfere with the relationship of husband and wife. Nina
Oh, I will have all kinds of leading Q’s for them. I hope it will be a masterful game of chess with skewers, forks and pins. I’ll sacrifice a pawn here and there, but they will be forced to give up valuable material if they want to continue talking to me.
Okay, for you I recommend a good single malt Scotch. Nina
Well, that may be the best advice I’ve so far!
This is their DFing question. A good answer for some would be "If they claim to be the F&DS, who am I to say otherwise? As long as they are taking the spiritual lead and what they say is in accord with God's word, then I will follow their direction." This answer is vague enough to satisfy my conscience and has the HUGE loophole that was they say has to be in accord with the Bible to follow it. amac
That’s what I thought that question was too. I wanted to give a good answer, but I couldn’t think of a way to phrase it without cornering myself. This is PERFECT. Thx!
If you ever need someone to watch your back, call me, I"ll be glad to help. obiwan
Thx obiwan. I’d love to have Krusty the Clown backing me up, one the best characters on The Simpsons!
Man, everytime I read one of your posts, I always read it in Krutsy’s voice
Almost scary that your name is Winston, the name of the protagonist in Orwell's 1984. Frank.
Sorry, but that’s just my ‘code name’ here on JWD. But I did pick that screen name because of that very reason. I’m glad it doesn’t go unnoticed.
tape record the next session and every other session. Get every word. And I suggest you do what I did, do not meet with them in the KH. Meet with them in your own home, or in some neutral place like a meeting room in a library or some other place. Frank
I’d like to do that, but I don’t think I’d be able to pull off letting them be taped and meeting in a neutral place. I’ve heard some say that they’ve tried taping it discreetly, but it never really worked. I’d like to just take it out and plunk it down on the table and say, “OK, let’s get ready to rumble you Fother Muckers!” Maybe I could use a small mike and record it? Maybe place a ‘spy cam’ in the room and video tape it? Hey, I still got keys to the KH!
Or make them meet with your wife in the presence of her therapist. They'll LOVE that one Frank
Now that I’d love to do. Want to know why? Well, not the therapist, but the psychiatrist is a wonderfully educated man; he is semi-retired and does this just to help others out. He is also a lawyer [Ka-ching!] and a Theologian [Ka-ching! Ka-ching!!]
Our first meeting with him after he found out we were JW’s, he quoted John 1:1 to us. I was amazed because he did it in fluent Greek! [Ka-ching! Ka-ching!! Ka-ching!!!]
After saying the scripture in Greek, he gave my wife and I a knowing grin, then said, “But please keep reading your NWT, it’s not so bad of a translation. Having a belief in God can be an important part of the healing process.”
I want to have a little chat with him if I can ever arrange it.
SHE has to be the one to do it. It's going to be a difficult battle Winston. Keep strong. The tougher you fight, the tougher you get. Remember to take a bit of a break now and then, or else you'll get worn out. Nos
Thx nos. I don’t force anything on her, which I am seeing helps diffuse the situation. Plus we are doing more ‘fun’ things now. [what girl doesn’t love shopping and spending money?] And I try to give myself a break from this crap every so often. Finding out the ‘Truth’ about the Troof is consuming and exhausting for the first few months. This board is a lifesaver though!
I did give myself a little treat and ordered both of Ray’s books, plus the ‘Gentile Times’, and the escaping from a cult book that was recommended by Randy.
A response in the form of amac's should be ambigious enough to satsify them xjw_b12
Thx, that’s probably the only area of that meeting where I really wish I performed better. Oh well, I’ll get them next time.
Winston, this is gut-wrenching. Wish I could help--but I am holding you and your wife in my heart. Kgfreeperson
Sometimes it’s enough just to know this, thx.
Thanks to all for reading this, for keeping up to date on my issue, and for your helpful pointers. I highly doubt I would be doing even remotely as well if it weren’t for all of the great support here!
Sincerely,
Winston.
Oh my god!!!!!!!! I can't believe what they did to you. I think you handled them brilliantly though. Great job!
Hugs to you for being such a wonderful and supportive husband.
Marilyn
Did you just luck into that psychiatrist or was he recommended? He sounds perfect! Hopefully, this is the beginning of a smooth road out of the borg and into your new lives free of depression, anxiety and delusions!
