Where do you go to die?

by wasasister 82 Replies latest jw friends

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  wasasister

  For the majority of humans, certain events are surrounded by tradition and ritual. Marriage, the birth of children, entrance into adulthood, and death are all life-events which will be marked by most with a form of religious ceremony. For the few who have left off affiliation with a religious organization, these events are marked differently - more by tradition than by mystic ritual.

  Many marriages are performed by civil authorities. The birth of a child may be marked by private family celbration.

  But how does one handle death? If I were to suddenly cease to exist, I know my few loved ones would want an occasion to grieve and be comforted by others who held me dear. They would want some sort of service to be held. What sort of service? Is there a "Justice of the Peace" for secular funerals? Forgive my ignorance, because I truly do not know the answer.

  I'd like to know: if any of you could choose your funeral service, what would you decide? Perhaps you have already made arrangements...if so, would you share them?

  Sorry to be morose...

  Was
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  mommy

  Actually it is not gross Wassa. Death is a natural part of life. I have already made arrangements for my death. I will be cremated and my ashes will be thrown into the wind, at my favorite place. I call it "top of the world" Everyone I know already is aware of this, and I am sure they will be there to watch my ashes fly away.

  I would rather have my friends talk about me, than someone who hardly knows me. I have been to many funerals that the pastor doesn't even know the person. I have even heard one mispronounce the person's name several times, how sad.
  wend
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  Mulan

  Most funeral homes have simple services, and can be conducted by the funeral home director. Pretty generic. We have talked about this in regards to deaths in our family, and think we would do a service in our living room. Still tossing it around. Hope that helped a bit.
• 

  unclebruce

  G'day Wassa,

  I suppose I should follow family tradition and be sat up in bed while all the relies and friends file past trying not to make eye contact. Truth is, if I'm not taken by a shark while sea kayaking, I'll be buried at the bottom of this land.

  My mother has decided to have a very private funeral (only my youngest sister is to know about it) then her ashes are to be spread over my fathers grave. I plan to have the last laugh by sneeking in with a dustbuster and bringing mum home to my place by the sea, I hope it's not a windy day :)
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  GinnyTosken

  Hi, Wasasister,

  I hadn't thought about this. After reading your post, I did a search for "secular funerals." I found that there actually is such a thing and that they are common enough that there are fundamentalists complaining about them. :)

  You might want to have a look at the Secular Humanist site: http://www.secularhumanism.org/celebrants/

  I even found a site with a kind looking woman offering her services for secular rituals, including funerals: http://www.secularweddings.com/

  Another option might be to make arrangements with a Unitarian Universalist church. While appreciating the value of ritual, they do not hold with dogma. On one of their sites, they say:

  We believe that there is truth to be found in all religions, but also that there is no single religious truth, and that life is a spiritual journey best experienced with others. We also strive to be theologically, ethnically, socially, and affectionally diverse, and we welcome those of any ethnicity or affectional orientation.

  They have a link to memorial service materials, if you'd like to get an idea of how others have marked such an occasion: http://www.sover.net/~sjlevine/Memsvc.htm

  If nothing there fits, perhaps you could write something of your own, or gather pieces of literature, poetry, and music that are meaningful to you.

  The funerals that have held the most meaning for me were the ones at which people shared memories of the person who died. A simple story can eloquently express who that person was and why he or she will be so missed. The emotion bubbled up, I was able to laugh and cry, and I felt better afterwards. The grief was no longer bottled up.

  I hope this helps.

  Ginny
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  Flip

  Wasa, as a long shot alternative, try and find out if there’s a hospice Society in your “area” if you haven’t already done so.

  Although hospice deals mostly with the terminally ill and the associated familial grieving I believe that organization could be a good resource finding the answers your looking for.

  Forget about checking with the WTBTS, they’ll probably kick your butt out through the “revolving” door. (As if you didn't know).

  Flip
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  Tina

  Hi sis,
  I've thought about this.
  My thoughts run similar to Ginnys. I've been to many many generic as well as denomination specific funerals.
  To help facilitate the grieving/closure process,I would like those who wish,to share a personal note/memory/observation,and music of my choice. Something that meant a lot to me.
  I want no biblical/god references at all(Im a humanist) I expect those that feel the need to pray would do so silently.I'll put this in writing as I expect even tho my son and hub know how I feel, they might be swayed by family pressure on how'to do it'.
  Thanks for bringing this up,luv ya,Tina

  Carl Sagan on balancing openness to new ideas with skeptical scrutiny...."if you are open to the point of gullibility and have not an ounce of skeptical sense,you cannot distinguish useful ideas from worthless ones."
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  JAVA

  Tina,
  

  I want no biblical/god references at all(Im a humanist)

  Humanist are my kind of folk! Do you get their journal? I know a few Religious Humanist--that's an interesting topic in itself. I attend a Unitarian Fellowship occasionally if I find the topic and speaker of interest. I don't find many differences between Humanist and Unitarian concepts, except Humanist don't usually have convenient places to meet. The URL for the Unitarians is: http://www.uua.org/main.html for any who want to know. Of course, they have funeral services--and weddings too.

  Ginny,
  Thanks for the research on your post--as usual, it was very well done.

  --JAVA

  ...counting time at the Coffee Shop
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  You Know

  For most of you, going foward, funeral arrangements shouldn't be an issue. The Scriptures say that when Jehovah's judgments finally come against this present system, as they did against previous systems of things in times past, that those laid low will be unceremoniously left on the ground to rot like a carcass. But, apostates can look on the bright side; that at least they will save on funeral expenses.

  Sorry to be so morose.

  "And their slain ones will be thrown out; and as for their carcasses, their stink will ascend..." (Isaiah 34:3) / You Know
• 

  JAVA

  You Know, thanks for sharing how the Watchtower Society sees any disbelieving the swill printed by their publishing firm. Sometimes it's easy to forget how crazy, and hateful the sect really is.

  --JAVA

  ...counting time at the Coffee Shop