What about "I Want To". I totally hated that song. Always made me laugh because I was always thinking about wanting to have sex.
Most Annoying "Kingdom song?"
seriously...all of em.
I remember one time we were singing and somehow they started the tape at the wrong part, so everyone got totally lost. It was hilarious!! Some people kept trying to sing.. and finally the po got on the podium and said "ok, uhh well just end the song there mkay?"
That happened about every Sunday. Everyone would keep on singing, though, we never stopped the song in the middle, instead had to go through those 5-10 minute right song searching. It was annoying.
A young, arrogant brother in charge of the music in our congregation made about 5 copies of all the CDs and tapes, because he was affraid to lose such a treasure. He mixed them all up later, I thin if I was still a JW and in that congregation he would still be apologizing to the elders... What a suck up he was.
But I haven't been singing at the meetings since 2000, I suppose, because I do not adjust my voice to anything that is badly written. It irritated the elders though.
1. From house to house, from door to door,
hovah’s disease we spread.
From town to town, from farm to farm,
hovah’s sheep are bled.
This good news that God’s Kingdom drools,
As the GB geezers foretold,
Is being preached throughout the earth
By 'hovahs young and old.
2. From house to house, from door to door,
you look like a freakin ho.
It comes to those who choose to call
Upon hovah’s name you blow.
But how can they call on the name
Of One they do not know?
So to their houses and their doors
The sacred name is "Mo".
3. Of course, it’s not at ev’ry door
We find a hearing ear;
At times there is a scolding tongue
And those we hate are queers.
’Twas just the same in Jesus’ day;
Not all would hear his word.
He said his sheep would hear his voice;
Hence, we smell like turds.
4. Then let us go from door to door
To spread the Kingdom news.
And to be sheep or to be goats,
We’ll let the people get screwed.
At least we’ll name hovah’s name,
His glorious truth beware.
And as we go from door to door,
We’ll find his sheep are square.
The one that gags me is that one about "...from house to house, from door to door,..." I just wanted to retch.
My father, who couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, bought the entire vinyl set of records and would sit in the living room listening like he was in "The Three Tenors" performance, being wafted away by the sublime beauty of it all. I made the mistake of walking through the living room while this little tableau was going on and he sat up and said, "Isn't that just beautiful? What do you think?"
I said, "I think it sounds like a cross between elevator music and high school band and if it were turned into food and you had to eat it, you would spit it out after the very first bite."
Needless to say, he took great umbrage at that little effort at humor. But taking himself too seriously was always one of his major problems anyway.
I really think there are some "kingdom" songs that are worse, but whenever they started, I would sort of zone out and didn't really hear the damage they were doing to such things as tempo, lyrics, harmony and such as that.
And did you ever notice how many of the tunes were swiped wholesale from Beethoven and Mozart? Why it's damn near criminal.
I have been sitting here reading all these replies, laughing my head off, with my co-workers wondering what I'm on!!!!
I've been away for about ten years, now, and it's difficult to match the titles with the tunes. Although there was one I really couldn't stand. It was the one that started out all doom and gloom "DARK TIMES ARE HERE .... bla bla bla" and then it transitions into this happy "everyone will die but we will live" tune. It was frightening, and almost foreboding. It's like, at the end of the first run-through, it would start all over again, "DUH DUH DA DA!!!!!"
The song "From house to house, from door to door," I can't recall the tune at all. Anyone have a sound file of it?
I remember at the Jersey City Assembly Hall back in 1989 I was sitting right in front of this unusually tall, snooty sister, dressed like a 1960's stewardess (her dress was all red, green and black plaid, with a hat to match .. it remains to this day the most abominable outfit I've ever seen). Every time we'd sing, she would bellow so horrifically I thought I would evaporate. And it wasn't just teribly loud. It was like a stadium full of cats on cocaine and in heat. And her voice was low instead of high pitched. I mean, it was strange. I would just stand there crying and laughing (and dying) because I simply couldn't concentrate. And yes, she was entirely tone-deaf.
Then there was the time in field service (a time in my life where I MUST have put my brain on a shelf), there was me and two sisters (the one sister was ancient and had a scary giggle) driving back to the kingdom hall. So the old sister decided it would be JUST WONDERFUL for all of us to sing to Jehovah (*GAG*). And since she was one of the "anointed" it made it a bit more awkward for us to say no (I was just out of high school and very impressionable). So sing we did, and it was terrible. And what was even scarier is that we were smiling and loving how "blessed" we were that we were not going to die in the fiery cataclysm awaiting all those people who didn't take our magazines that day. Those big, bad worldly people!!! How we loved to sing happily about their destruction.
I would have sang along like I would have licked her feet!
If they annoy you, play them backwards..They all sound better played backwards
did this one anoy you. or did you like it?
The Shulammite Remnant
1. 'Dear Shulammite maiden, so lovely and fair,
Your spiritual virtues are many and rare.
Your speaking is pleasant, your charms a delight.
Your fellowship holds me, beloved Shulammite.'
2. Thus speaks her Fine Shepherd, Christ Jesus her Lord.
He wants her to share his eternal reward.
And how does the fair one, so firm as a wall,
Reply to her Lord, as a model for all?
3. 'Exclusive devotion is not up for hire,
Since blazings of love are like blazings of fire.
Unyielding as Sheol all true love will be.
Like flame of Jehovah is your love for me.'
4. Fair Shulammite remnant, temptations resist.
Stay clean for your Bridegroom; on virtue insist.
Your virgin companions that walk in your train
Rejoice at your course and the prize you will gain.
DARK TIMES ARE HERE .... bla bla bla" and then it transitions into this happy "everyone will die but we will live" tune.
LOL thats so true.. This is my most hated song, this and "We're Jehovahs Witnesses" - that one was so embarrasing, if there were any new people there.. it sounded like a football teams song.
It used to really irk me when the song left out the E's in everything, like Forgiv'n - what the hell was that????
My brother once drew a watermelon in between the hands of that geezer in the picture at the back of the book, and it looked like he was about to take a huge bite into the thing. . My mum then opened the book at the beginning of the song and had to go to the bathroom because she almost wet herself laughing when she saw it.
The Shulamite remnant and Marriage is God's arrangements were realy thoe only 2 songs that were ever played for a wedding.
As for who asked if classical music could be played.. no. No worldly music AT ALL is allowed in the KH. I got in trouble for that once when I was sound geek.
As for the song that annoyed me the most? We're Jehoobers Witnesses.
We're Johhober's Witnesses
We speak out in fearfullness
Ours is the god of Falso prophesy
What he fortells just wont beeeeeeeeee
Kansas District Overbeer