Need advice

by Drwho 89 Replies latest social relationships

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  oppostate

  I ve never been a fan of revenge , so I guess thats all it would be
  How sad to be a part of this , poor people.
  Thanks for the advice , I wont go to her Elders then

  @DrWho

  - If you stay with her and get closer the elders will find out eventually and it will lead to the same.

  - If you leave her she'll still be indoctrinated in the cult.

  - If you call the elders and spill the beans it may lead to her waking up from the cult.

  You can't really win, it seems to me, so why not help her get out of this mind controlling cult?

  You're not acting in revenge. In the elders view she's already done the "dirty" by heavy petting, passionate caressing and kissing, and what-not in nothing but underwear.

  If the elders ever find out she did this it will lead to the same thing as if you told them what happened. She'll resent you either way. So the sooner it gets resolved and she can start waking up to this cult the better.
• 

  JWdaughter

  Just walk away. Nothing good will come of this for you. You may help her eventually to see the truth (in that what you have told her will eventually reach her brain, not that she is going to come back unscathed from her JW experience, never to deal with it again).

  Honestly, she is just a heartache and so are you. She is damaged goods-most of us are forever or for a good many years. Life is too short. Move on and away.
• 

  Drwho

  @JW dubbed ., Why did that other site close down ? It just dissapeared : (

  Yes , Im like that, I need to hear advice all the time , things have progressed since that site closed down , negatively of course

  JWdaughter. Yes, this is what I will do , just want one more chance at her , Im sure there is doubt in her , she even wrote the other day that she was " divided " , so mayeb I can plant the seed a bit more , then Ill walk , run or whatever .
• 

  Drwho

  @Giarodano Thanks , yes good advice , but I dont think she will ever trust me more than the Watchtower . Im still trying to understand what exactly the Watchtower means to these people. is it their equivalent to lets say the Catholics Vatican ?
  
• 

  honest

  If someone breaks up or no longer wants to be with you because you refuse to join their religion, I'd say that person is not worthy of you. Don't you want someone who loves you for you?

  This lady is willing to do naughty things with you in secret which she knows her religious beliefs goes against it, she knows that she has gone against the watchtower cults mandates, yet she is willing to hide her naughtiness from the elders yet she still gives you a ultimatum of either becoming a witness or lose her. She sounds like a very selfish deluded brainwashed fool. She can do naughty things and protect her image and that is why she wants you to be a witness. So she can look squeaky clean and marry you and no one will know she almost fornicated and did naughty things with a non believer. She gets to marry you if you become a jw and still look squeaky clean.

  From experience these type of jehovah's witnesses are the worst. After they have cleared themselves of their sins they become hardcore cultists. Extreme to the core that they are unbearable.

  True experience. A jw elder was committing adultery for 10 years. He got found out and was disfellowshipped. He became reinstated with his newly converted wife who he was having the affair with. They are now the 2 most judgemental, die hard jw's. They are extreme into their cult worship. It's like they become extreme once their sins have been cleared because they feel the need to gain approval. They become unbalanced.

  Here is what will happen if she marries you.

  She marries you and gets reproved or disfellowshipped. She is still indoctrinated and the shunning will be hard to bear. So she gets reinstated. Going back to meetings she will be reindoctrinated and become fanatical because of her guilty past. This means she will treat you as a second class citizen. Meetings, assemblies and witnessing will be her first priority.

  She will not participate inany of your holidays. Birthdays and will not even attend church celebrations with you ( Eg weddings)

  You will fight because she will not compromise.

  Your life will be a living he'll if she doesn't leave the religion. There is no compromise with jehovah's Witnesses. It's their way all the way and you will be the worldly wrong one.

  By all means try and wake her up. If she doesn't it's better you leave the relationship. It will be heartache all the way.

  You have to remember their intelligence has been stolen by the cult. Their brains are not their own. They are owned and manipulated by a very powerful totalitarian cult that commands their thoughts.
• 

  jwundubbed

  but I dont think she will ever trust me more than the Watchtower . Im still trying to understand what exactly the Watchtower means to these people. is it their equivalent to lets say the Catholics Vatican ?

  
  

  My paternal grandparents are Catholic. To them, the Vatican is the capital of their faith and the place where the person closest to God resides. To them God may be the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit but the Pope and the Vatican are NOT God. To JWs the Watchtower is synonymous with the Governing Body which is synonymous with Jehovah God, the only real and true God. If A=B and B=C then A=C. So if the Watchtower = Governing Body and Governing Body = God then the Watchtower = God.
  
  
• 

  Crazyguy

  I don't know if your a bible believer or not but destroying the validity of the bible is easier then destroying a JW faith in thier cult. Do this and the faith come tumbling down. But at her age that may do more harm then good and she may later hate you.
• 

  someDUDEinAsmallCubicalSomewhereOverTheRAINBOX

  dude, jw or not, you got a girl making out with you in her underwear...you've gotta close that deal man.

  ALWAYS BE CLOSING!!!
  
• 

  Drwho

  @somedude : ) Since you put it like that , Iguess it sounds mental : )) You are a true salesman lol And no , Im not a jW

  @Honest . Yes this is what is ( slowly ) what I becoming aware of , and its the blatant truth , I understand that .

  @jwundubed, ok , so thats why she gets a bit anti when i call them a bunch of Pedo allowing fat , lying childkillers ( with reference to the " awake may 1994 ) , shes a bit touchy then

  We met today and i tried the non anti WT approach I was just a normal loviing guy , just to let her " human " side out and it was great as we walked through the forest , she wont come back to my place because she knows it would end up in bed , but we snogged etc in the forest .

  As we walked to our cars , she said we could do this all the time if I " knew the truth " so I replied " never , ever " then she got cold and reverted back to Miss WT lady .

  I keep asking her if she would shun her own kids , they are 20 , 24y , and she just says she would not see them as the same people , but anybody else she would shun .

  How can i tell her shunning is bad ? Ive sent her Psychological reviews of Shunning , without JW references . But she just recites the Bible where the Isralites shunned .

  Also , her 20y old daughter is suffering from depression and loneliness , is this a common disoredr in young JWs ? I guess any 20y kid can have depression though
  
• 

  Giordano

  "Also , her 20y old daughter is suffering from depression and loneliness , is this a common disoredr in young JWs ? I guess any 20y kid can have depression though"

  http://taze.co/2015/02/05/10-thinking-patterns-jehovahs-witnesses-actually-crush-mental-strength/

  http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/mental-issues.php