Need advice

by Drwho 89 Replies latest social relationships

  • Landy

    Unfortunately you're on to a loser either way.

    Option 1 - she stays a witness and either gets DF'd - in which case you'll be resented by her and her family for ever more - or marries you and becomes, in their eyes, 'unevenly yoked' - in which case you'll be resented by her and her family for ever more (spot the pattern?).

    Option 2 - she moves in and gets DF'd and you'll be resented....well, you get the picture.

    Life's too short for this - move on and find someone not screwed up by a cult.

    Good luck.

  • Drwho


    Thanks for the input : )

    Is that a really good idea ? Or what that just cause her undue trouble ?

    Anyone here like to advise me ?

  • Giordano

    Bad advice to squeal on her on so many level's. Number one it would violate any affection or trust she has for you Drwho.

    #2. She would be interrogated by a three Elder committee in what the JW's call a Judicial committee who's sole purpose is to keep the congregation clean.

    #3 Before they reach that decision they will ask to hear all the intimate details of your making out session(s) including who touched what. Was there licking or sucking. Questions like were you on a bed, sitting or standing up. Nude, what was off and what was covered up.

    #4. They will question her for a good hour and she will be totally destroyed after the judicial is over. It takes a good hour because these uneducated Elders will enjoy the intimate details and their power over her. You will be the witness sited.

    #5 She will either be 'marked' and the entire congregation will know about her private business or Disfellowshiped (excommunicated in the Catholic church) and the Elders will share the details with their wives and fellow Elders and what she engaged in will leak out.

    #6 She will be shunned by all of her friends, all JW's where ever she lives and all family members including her Son's and their families.

    Being Disfellowshiped is viewed as a death sentence.

    You would have caused her one of the greatest hurts for a JW.

    So what's on the up side.....nothing.

    You can get married........ there are mixed couples in the JW world but she will get a cool reception from family and friends. That may ease or cause her to wake up.

  • Drwho

    Wow , thats heavy

    I ve never been a fan of revenge , so I guess thats all it would be

    How sad to be a part of this , poor people.

    Thanks for the advice , I wont go to her Elders then


  • sweetgrass

    Well she must know after 40 years that you cannot serve two masters. Does she think she has a chance of surviving the big A with her hypocracy? She is kidding herself, she either totally quits the saucy encounters and discusses with the very interested elders every salacious detail and accept retribution or she can jump on you and ravish you to death and stop pretending to be a good JW. Its either or there is no middle ground. Be straight with her there is not much to lose if she goes back pleading for forgiveness. You will probably want more than a fuddle for the rest of your life?

  • DJS

    3 months and foreplay is all you got? I would ask for my money back.

    Find a bus. Hop on it. Gus. OR, to put it another way, there are between 3.5 to 4 billion women on the planet who arent JWs.

    Find one of them.

  • sweetgrass

    Forgot to say.....don't go to the elders but have a frank open discussion. Get married? not sure....are you a glutton for punishment?

  • rebelfighter

    Hi Drwho

    Welcome to the forum. Tell her it has been nice and then RUN don't look back.

    For further information press on my little picture there and read my intro to this forum. Sweet, loving, caring 5 years Good bye have a nice life in an email no warning signs. Yeap never been in a KH.

  • joe134cd

    If you find out let me

  • 2True

    Hey Drwho

    Not much more to add. Cults are all about control, and your GF is under the control of a behemoth. They control her thoughts, emotions and (until recently it would seem) her behaviour. None of her attitude toward you is her fault - try not to blame her.

    If you go on the offensive by trying to prove that JWs are an evil cult you will be playing into the hand of the cult as they have already brainwashed her to deal with this kind of reasoning.

    Your best bet is to go on the charm offensive. Be the ever loving, non-confrontational BF - maybe she'll come round eventually. But, to reiterate what has already been said it's highly unlikely she ever going to leave the cult for you.

    And PLEASE don't rat her out to the elders, that only has a sad ending.

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