Tatiana,
i know it must have taken alot of courage to voice and show your hurt, on the postings ,from being a chid even to your present day problems,my self and wife salute you,and understand a little concerning some of the problems which you encounterd within your life,we can only scratch at the surface covering of your pain and hurt,christian love to you (,in earnest)i feel that you have touched my inner person ,i feel so emotionaly for you.
May i suggest that you try and contact your farther and sister,or even send him a letter as you have just posted, but slightly different in some aspects,along with some pictures of your children,ime sure that if he knew what had happend to you from the time he was forced to leave you& you other sister then he may wellll place himself in a position to help you,
have you met your 3rd sister socialy,
i allso see that you are comparing your sisters life & happiness ,to your own circumstances , which your mother placed you in yes your mother was to blame for the situation which affected you as a child ,which i feel so sorry for your earlier life,but when you became an adult say from age of 18 in englad allowing you to vote ,sorry to say this but you made choices,which we all have to at times,your mistake was marrying that half wit j.w whom beat you ,its the same old story we see time and time again most sisters need to leave home ,most of them are engaged around 17 years old next thing they are given in marriage as the parents want them of there hands,
You will be strugling now possibly for some time to come,but as you look with envy towards your 3rd sister ,remember that you yourself can change your own circumstances,you have children,dont repeat the cycle which you found yourself in ,become different than your mother as if we give up you may condem your children to the same fate which you found yourself in, you have the strength & friends of this postings to help you and direct you in a loving way as has been shown already,One thing you can start to be proud of is that you are now free to do as you please ,you have the freedom of choice,what is your next decision in your life,what are you going to do NEXT.
