I have taken a break from the baby wait to come to the board and see what is happening. Recently I had a run in with some people from another board, that also attend this board. In a search of my name on this site, I see that people (two weeks later) are still mentioning this and me. So I will address these comments in a way I hope does not lead to combat and flame wars. I will actually say things that should quiet down anything that is followed.
First I would like to mention "rights" as I think that is a very key word in this life. We have the "right" as humans to be imperfect, to have emotions and to have the ability to make discussions we might later see as extreme or harmful. Those right can be used to hurt, to help and to build up and destroy. People need to realize, that as much as you love and appreciate your rights ... you must see others as having the same rights, as well. Speaking against them, is speaking in support of controlling people and taking away their freedoms.
So did I have the right on another board to say something against silentlambs? Yes, I did. Why? Because personally I think there are other organizations out there that can help in a positive way and I wanted my fellow Ex-Jw's to know about these as well and not think this one is the only one out there. This very board JWD taught me a lot about silentlambs. I read thoughts from Bill Bowen, and frankly they disturbed me personally. They made me feel that there was some anger involved and some vendetta's that were being placed into what I saw as a "good cause". Some might not remember this, but one of my post from this board was actually used by Bill Bowen (silentlambs) in his news letters.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=34493&site=3
What I saw from the man after that point concerned me, bothered me and made me feel uncomfortable in my support of him. Then I read several examples of other people that felt the same way, and even read silentlambs calling people on this site "stupid" for asking questions. Basically, this site turned my support on Silentlambs as I read more and more about it. It left a bad taste in my mouth. When I asked questions, made comments and even made simple statements. Supporters attacked me and all they wanted to do was call me names, argue and even rile me up to the point that I argued back. What a waste on both of our parts. So when I saw this online information, been in and witnessed many battles from both sides, I must say "I personally would not recommend Silent lambs" and I have that right. The thing is, you have the right to disagree with me as well. It might shock people to know, that I personally did not find Raymond Franz's book all that insightful and rewarding for me either, and I do not follow him as well. I thought his book was interesting, but I felt he was promoting the Bible and Christianity and I do not enjoy either.
Now, did I go to extreme on another site and say mean things about silentlambs? I think I did, I think my frustration bubbled up to the point that I expressed my views in bad taste and with a emotion that is not productive. Does that make me a phony then, to say one thing on here about love and peace and enjoying life, and then being so negative and callous towards people in thier views, especially when abuse is involved? To some it might, to some they might see me as a human being who has emotions about something and expressing my views or feeling attacked for being open with my thoughts. I am a black belt in martial arts, I honestly work at controlling my emotions all the time, so that I do not harm people who upset me. I am not, however, Mr. Spock and spending all my life saying "emotions are illogical." I get pissed, hurt, angry, happy, comforting and even arrogant at times. Basically, I never placed myself on a pedestal to be knocked off, people who saw me as such, put me there themselves. If you saw me as a leader, that is your vision and not mine, I only lead myself!!!
So, people wonder now "do I support silentlambs?" and the answer is "I support abuse survivors". In that support I want to send people I care about to love, and if I do not get attacked for sharing my opinions, then I know it is about love and I would send people there in a heart beat. If I get attacked again and told I am blocking something for good people with hate and anger, I look at that as a warning sign and say "I don't want my friends who have been hurt, to be hurt more by others who are angry." That is my criteria and it makes sense to me. I have that right!
Now in my frustration I attacked people I felt attacked by. In doing so, I could debate on this board in thread after thread how I felt I was justified and they would counter with the same, in the end though I would rather just say "Sorry Rhonda, I did not mean to hurt you or to make you seem belittled, I felt hurt as much as you did." As for others that were attacked by me in those threads, it was only one other person in question and mentioning them is a waste of my time. Basically though, I am not one who likes to be attacked for sharing my thoughts and I am very protective of my friends and those whom I care about. I also have a very thin filter for lies and I know when it is being shared.
So in conclusion, I would like to ask, "what is so hard about saying I am sorry?" As I freely apologize to those whom I have offended with my thoughts. I just sit hear amazed that I hardly ever witness anyone else doing the same. Even seeing comments were people think apologizing is back down, and shows a lack of character. If you challenged me to a fight, and I talked you out of it by saying I am sorry. You might think "wimp", "I won" and then later you find out I know about a 1000 ways to harm and kill you. Would you still think I am a wimp, or would you be glad I ended it before anyone got truly hurt? Think that way, does not make you a follower of mine ... I am not some guru or leader, if you see me as such, then something is wrong in your mind. If you apologize, it shows that you understand that some times you say things that hurt people. It shows that you admit your "spontaneous stupidity" and "lack of understanding" as much as the next person. You basically say "look I was too human today with you, and I need to say sorry as I went beyond a limit you can accept and handle (that limit is crossed when emotions get heated)." It is not backing down, it is not being a coward, it is not saying "I am a chicken", it is saying nothing more then "I want to move on a be a source of positive and not negative." Plain and simple! You have the right to speak, the right to think and the right to admit when you are right and wrong. You have the right and so do I!
So am I a phoney? Only if your illusion of me was something other then the truth and reality of life. I am just human, like everyone else.
Thanks for taking the time to read ...
My thought
Dragon
Edited by - kenpodragon on 26 November 2002 21:41:32