I'm living with nausea (page 5)

kairos

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/users/23853/LisaRose

Interesting about the breathing. I'm a horn player and already have excellent control of my breathing.

The other morning, it was the incredibly focused breathing that released years of pent up emotion, anger that very quickly culminated ( like Harm-you-gettin' ) into pure rage.

It was a very amazing experience. Once I got the fire lit, that train wasn't stopping!!
I called it exhilarating. It felt like I could have induced it once again this morning. I was already drained. Couldn't go there that soon. The body tremors were already starting.

I have always been prone to spending a good deal of time thinking things through on a very deep level. I'm not one to be caught off guard or surprised by much. My choices and actions have been very clearly laid out in my mind prior to completion. ( my fade )

Also my wife and I spend hours each week together doing some positive affirmations/meditation/EFT when the nausea is especially bad. This does help to reset my thinking and calm myself down. Identifying that *right now* everything is fine and we have a wonderful, respectful marriage of nearly 20 years.

The elders are not after me, my wife is not leaving nor am I leaving her, we live an amazing lifestyle and each have very interesting hobbies and pursuits. My life is a good one, I need to convince my brain of this apparent secret.

I can only speculate, but I may be getting very poor sleep and wake up hurting as my mind tries to unravel this nightmare while I sleep/dream. It doesn't matter when I go to bed, what I eat, drink or what time I wake up. The nausea is always there. Only thing I haven't tried is staying up ALL night.

That could be fun...

berrygerry

FYI: My supportive JW wife has been reading along with me on the forum some mornings as I complete my cult exit.

Please pass on my kudos to your wife.

From her perspective, you two are "one flesh."

Jesus said that "no man" should put that apart.

Exiting something that has literally been your focus from the moment you wake up until (and into) you fall asleep, does not instantly evaporate.

Week after week, we have been CONDITIONED for decades on what we think, how we dress, what work to do, what entertainment to consume, how to be intimate, and how to use what little remaining time is left in our lives.

Again, kudos to your wife for helping you (YOU) pass through this.

LHS123

I really sympathies, I have only just started having doubts after 20 years in. I have just learned what cognitive dissonance is and it's very distressing. Everything I have based my life on might not be true, and that is going to have an enormous effect on me and my family. Today I have a splitting headache, I have a weekend of spiritual activity to look forward to but I don't know if I believe half of it and don't know if I can go through the motions.

Giordano

Sometime LHS it may be better to go on vacation and step away from the JW construct for a couple of weeks.

I got out 48 years ago because of the blood doctrine, Armageddon and the Corporate nature of the JW's as defined by the WTBTS Incorporated.

The dogma JW's believe in is centered in the corporate mission statement.

My best comparison is to be involved with an organization like Amway where selling a product is the be all. Where conforming to the company rules are mandatory.

As I mentioned in a recent post the closest 'religion' to the JW's is not the Mormons but Scientology. It is a corporate dictatorship.

To understand that you have to be outside looking in.

LisaRose

can only speculate, but I may be getting very poor sleep and wake up hurting as my mind tries to unravel this nightmare while I sleep/dream.

Yeah, that could be it. Sleep is really important. It's good not to use the computer or watch TV for an hour or so before you go to sleep. I find the allergy drug is benadryl (in the U.S.) helpful when I can't sleep. It's sold as a sleep aid under another name, but it's the same thing (only usually cheaper as benedryl). It's very mild and doesn't leave you feeling drugged.

Have you tried ginger for the nausea? Ginger tea is good, or you can buy the root and make your own tea.

rebel8

I went through the same physical thing when I was becoming inactive. I get nausea, weight loss and sleep loss when I'm that anxious. It sucks.

In addition to what I suggested earlier, I would also suggest taking a break. The org tells you this is dangerous to your spirituality, but think about it--that's impossible really. The truth is the truth and can withstand scrutiny; that has even been encouraged in wts publications. A brief break while you meditate on the teachings, without being pressured by others, will not hurt your spirituality if the truth is the truth.

People with fractured ankles take a break from walking. Your brain is hurting right now; there's nothing wrong with taking a break from the cause to let yourself heal and sort things out.

If this continues, consider seeing a professional, licensed therapist.

nonjwspouse

Kairos you have a pm

Therapy is great, as long as all physiological reasons are ruled out. one or maybe even multiple, Dr visits is not enough if you feel the talk therapist has good ideas, and should be helping, but isn't.

I go through phases of being determined to take the therapist advice and do what is common sense correct for me to do, but these past years I end up failing due to my body's inability to cope. I was being convinced it was my own lack of determination and felt about an inch tall.

Thankfully, a new therapist is aggressive on ruling out what he strongly believes is a un diagnosed physiological component. This actually gives me some hope. I still have work to do on the extreme stress and depression side, but it will never get better unless have an underlying physiological cause corrected.

((((HUGS)))) for you Kairos. I feel your pain through your words. It is so real.

TheListener

As I was becoming inactive I would freak out every time there was a thunderstorm at night because I just knew the end was here and I wasnt going to make it. It took a long time and lots of research for that fear to go away.

problemaddict 2

Kairos I remember the "ulcer days". that crazy stress level like you are trapped, can't breathe, feel like there is no way out, and that the people that love you may be so conditional that it doesn't matter.

It passes. It just does. Control it, make peace, find your life in its new form, and love your wife. You will get there.

In the meantime control your stress, and don't let this one thing own you. Lots of good advise already given.

Crazyguy

I would swear at times in my car alone just yell. , had plenty of sleepless nights, knowing it was all a lie. What helped me was to keep my brain busy learning from the Bible how to explain how they were wrong. Then moving on to keeping my brain busy by educating myself all about ancient religions, how the Bible came to be, evolution, astronomy etc.

I'm living with nausea

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