I'm living with nausea

by kairos 68 Replies latest members private

• 

  cappytan

  I also agree with those suggesting Meditation. The demons won't getcha.
• 

  OneEyedJoe

  I've experienced similar nausea recently (and lost 8 lbs in the last week, but my appetite is stabilizing again) but it was short lived. I can't imagine having to deal with that on such a long term basis. I haven't read the entire thread, but have you considered getting into some therapy? Being able to talk to someone (in person...there's only so much typing it out on a forum can do) just to get things off your chest might help to ease the stress you're under. And they might be able to help with some coping tools as well.

  I'm so sorry for what you're dealing with. It's not easy but there's a way out. Keep going and you'll get there.
• 

  FayeDunaway

  Kairos, I can't eat when I'm stressed either. I got terribly thin one year when I was going through witness hell. I am so, so sorry you are going through such a stressful time. It's a roller coaster. Hopefully the dips will keep getting farther apart. You are a sensitive person, you feel things. I just wish your wife could acknowledge what this religion does to people. Maybe she will with time. I had a few emotional breakdowns too. One in front of my father, when he came over full of elder judgment. I remember blubbering out 'WHY CANT I JUST HAVE A FATHER?!?!?!?!?' ......I just want a father. I just want my parents. You just want your own life. .....it's not fair.
• 

  kairos

  The comments here are very good. Thanks.

  Sorry about the typos. It's hard to concentrate when it feels like someone is punching you in the gut.

  As to the therapy suggestions, yes, I took that advice and have found that it is wonderful having a professional guide a quality conversation with path and strategies.

  While I was waiting for my last appointment, I jotted down two lists on a note pad.

  One side was pretty long. It was all the good things in my life.

  The other column only has four negatives:

  1. Daily Nausea

  2. Anxiety over cult exit

  3. Loss of "social network"

  4. Feeling the effect of age on my body.

  I feel the top three will resolve naturally. I led a pretty solid double life socially.
  My no-JW network is much deeper and legitimate than any JW "friends".

  I am losing weight, improving my diet and exercising more, so #4 is a work and progress that I share in common with the species...

  FYI: My supportive JW wife has been reading along with me on the forum some mornings as I complete my cult exit.
• 

  FayeDunaway

  Wow, that IS supportive!! You are in pretty good shape to have a wife like that. And your positive list was much longer than your negative list, that is a very good thing. Plus you are being open with your wife, which is very healthy.

  Just remember, the only real power they have over you is if you let them have power. You own your own life.
• 

  Alive!

  Hi

  Hope you feel better day by day, it sounds like you and wife have a real team thing going together, when the religion issues don't turn on you both.

  Looking back, over what seemed like 20 odd years of presenting extremely well, being successful in life etc etc, I can now admit my internal stress was huge. I mean huge. And finally, as the insanity of my belief system began to seriously conflict with my sane reasoning - I broke.

  I can remember an intense period a few years back, when I was throwing up daily and always before meetings.

  The ill health amongst witnesses is phenomenal, critical anxiety, fybromalgia, gastro problems abound. Medicated in many cases with alcohol and prescription drugs.

  This is not an over the top blanket statement - but based on observation and fact.

  Sounds like there are a few of us having a particularly rough week or two.

  The great thing is to know that things can and do change - in wonderful ways. And sometimes when we least expect them.

  When you find that window of energy when you are not overwhelmed - use it to do all the good healthy stuff that strengthens your mind, body and well being. Sometimes it's a matter of not just day by day, but minute by minute and hour by hour.

  How true ' this too will pass'

  Hugs to yourself and all members going through shite.
• 

  LisaRose

  I recommend meditation. It's easy, costs nothing, and is great for stress.
• 

  kairos

  Would you describe the basics of meditation, please?
• 

  LisaRose

  O

  There are various types of meditation, but most involve controlling your breathing in some way. While some forms of meditation are used in religious practice, it's not necessarily tied to religion, nor does it involve the demons, as the JWs believe.

  A very simple form of meditation is to sit quietly, and breath slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try to make sure your muscles are relaxed, often we carry tension without realizing it. Try to focus on your breath, the sound it makes, become aware as your lungs fill and empty. At first you will find this hard to do, your mind will wander. As you become aware that your mind has wandered, let those thoughts go and go back to focusing on your breathing.

  Set an easy goal at first, maybe five minutes, which will seem like an eternity, lol. Set a timer and try to stay with it. As you practice you will get better at it and be able to do it longer. Don't be surprised if you start having vived dreams, that is a sign your meditation is effective.

  I have found listening to music helps me meditate better, I have Pandora and just created a station by entering "meditation by the sea", as I find water sounds to be soothing. (It also seems to calm my crazy cat, she will often curl up and go to sleep on my Kindle) .I also sometimes visualize a pleasant scene, like the beach. I think about the breeze, the sound of the waves, the salt air, etc.

  I recommend getting a book, or at least doing an internet search. While it's not difficult, it does take practice to be most effective. Meditation has been shown to lower blood pressure and relieve stress. If done right It causes your body to release endorphins, your body's own natural pain killers. I like having control over my stress rather than letting it control me. No matter what goes on, I know I can get on top of it in just a few minutes, simply by breathing. I have ADHD and meditation helps me to focus and be more productive.
• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  I typically gained weight when I was under stress. That uneasy and unsettling feeling in my stomach just felt like hunger. So much of the emotion I internalized and really felt like I just wanted to die. As painful as it can be to let it out, it's better that it goes out than stays in. And I've certainly let plenty of it out here!

  I hope you get feeling better soon. It's just so wrong to suffer for learning TTATT.