New to The Jehovahs Witness Faith and need some help

by jnjburkett 171 Replies latest jw friends

  • cofty

    Doesnt that happen in EVERY religion

    Yes you can find bad people in any group.

    An organisation that claims to be chosen by god should not be convering up child abuse and threatening victims however.

  • OnTheWayOut

    jnjburkett, you are literally in the "honeymoon stage" of being recruited. They show you love, support and extra attention and are careful not to tell you how to treat your "outside" family. Extra effort is made to teach you the doctrine and to deepen your experience.

    Later down the road, you may enter the "thorn stage." You can be asked to make a greater sacrifice on behalf of the Witnesses and Jehovah. This can take the form of extended volunteer labor (spending time with them after meetings and study to clean the Hall), giving more time to prayer and meditation and formalizing it as a member- first by joining them in their door-to-door recruiting then by baptism.

    It would be even after that when you start to learn things of a negative nature. While it wouldn't be popular among Witnesses, many cult experts call that the "Crucifixion Phase" – where your outside beliefs are undermined. Any belief other than that approved by the Witnesses is weeded out and absolute 24-hour commitment with complete abandonment of any interests outside the group is demanded. It won't be until this point that Watchtower doctrines dictates every aspect of life.

  • jgnat

    jnj, I echo the sentiment that all the accommodation and acceptance you see now ends at baptism. Then they can no longer count their time talking to you. You will have to count your time talking to non-Witnesses at the door.

    I am comforting a young man just rejected by his parents from stepping away from the Witnesses. He is an intelligent, college-educated young man with a bright future. But his mother has tearfully rejected him, will not talk to him or have him in her home, until he returns to the Witnesses. This is the norm rather than the exception.

    They will tell you such extreme measures are required to protect the Truth. But does the Truth really need protecting? Doesn't it stand on its own? How can this organization on one side of their mouth claim to be the most Truth-ful organization on earth, and accomodate problems like pedophiles on the other?

  • cofty

    jnj - I was raised in the Watchtower. In '95 I explained to my parents that I could not go on praticing a religion that I no longer believed to be true. Too many fundamental teachings had been discarded for it to be credible.

    They have shunned me ever since and were totally absent from the lives of my children as they were growing up. They did this in obedience to the rules of the organisation.

    You could multiply this story thousands of times over. Just read the personal experiences in this forum.

  • jam

    It's funny, I only knew a couple of brothers that served in the military.

    One that served in Nam and one in the Korean conflict. The funny

    thing about me serving in Nam, the brothers that never served in

    the military had all these question about the war, did I kill anyone,

    were you shot at, how many of your freinds were killed, especially when we

    were drinking. One brother I knew lied about serving in Nam, he never

    served in the military. I realy believe they were envious, why I do not

    know .....They loved talking about it when the women wasn't around..

  • OnTheWayOut

    You are not a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses yet. Once you are a member, you will be forbidden to read outside material that might be negative about the Witnesses.

    Experts on psychology would tell you that is a red flag. So read, view such matters now. Look at youtube videos from former JW's by simply putting "Jehovah's Witnesses" in the search bar. Learn about Raymond Franz, who he was and what he wrote about Jehovah's Witnesses. Don't let a JW stop you. You are free to look at what you want.

  • talesin

    Well, the JWS situation is very similar to the Catholic Church in this way ...

    They cover up the abuse, and it's very damaging. Here's what usually happens ... let's say ...

    A 12 year old boy goes to his parents, and tells them that Brother X has been molesting him for 2 years. The parents, of course, go to the elders with the child for help. The child is questioned, and asked if there are any witnesses to the abuse. Well, you know the answer to that question is a big fat no. The next step is to have a meeting where the child confronts his abuser!

    NO professionals are brought in - no police, no counsellors, no Child Protective Services.

    The JWs believe that you cannot accuse a brother of wrongdoing unless there are 2 witnesses. Unless you have a witness to the abuse, or the abuser actually confesses, the child and parents will be told to KEEP SILENT. Telling anyone or warning anyone, is considered slandering the molester, and you WILL be disfellowshipped for that, while the criminal remains in good standing.

    Now, in recent years, some countries (like here, Canada) mandate that any accusation of child abuse must be reported. This is a major issue for the Watchtower Society (WTS). Literally thousands of people have come forward, worldwide, telling their stories of abuse and the subsequent cover-up.

    Yes, it happens in all religions, all countries, all tribes --- but the way they cover it up, forcing the family to sit by as the pedophile has access to other children, as well as traumatizing the victim and his family ... by threatening them with expulsion.

    Expulsion = disfellowshipping. That means NO ONE in the congregation, not your mother, your brother, your best friend, is allowed to talk to you, or spend time with you. You are SHUNNED.

    It's really horrific, really truly! There are lots of people's testimonies on here, and other places online.

    This is one of the 'for real' horrors that is hidden inside the Watchtower.

    Again, I urge you to research this issue .. it's big, and that's why I brought it up, because I know that any decent person would want to know more about it before they took the plunge, so to speak, and became one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

    I truly wish you well, and hope you do lots and LOTS of research.



  • jam

    The brothers served in the military before becoming a JW...Just

    to make that clear.

  • confusedandalone

    jnj it seems you have already made a decision prior to coming here... I would suggest that you atleast remember to visit this site in a few weeks/months when you start to find out that:

    You are not allowed to go to the YMCA, girl scouts and boy scouts are off limits, no fourth of july, no military pride, association with "worldly" family needing to be curtailed, when you find out Jehovah hates invitro, etc... in to infinite. I just hope that you do not alienate your family so much that they end up rejecting you when you come to your senses. Many here have 5 -50 years or more time invested before we left. JWFACTS.COM

  • jam

    Jnjburket: Think of it this way, your brother and husband is serving

    in the military for this country in order for JW's to go out and knock on

    doors freely.

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