by OneEyedJoe 80 Replies latest jw experiences
Great to hear from you Joe. I am slowly fading myself having had a very similar awakening to yourself. I have the added complication of kids. I've had lots of encouragement from all on this site so am sure you will get lots of encouragement yourself.
Have a good one...
Welcome OneEyedJoe, Thank you for sharing your story. Please vent on JWN as much as possible, so that you don't say anything to raise JW family and friends' suspicions.
It seems that today a few JWs have joined and written about their experiences. It is sad that the WTBTS's BITE control is so strong that JWs are afraid to express their doubts anonymously to strangers.
What is your plan to fade? Have you considered the following?
Best of wishes successfully fading from the WTBTS with your wife.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
OneEyedJoe:
Welcome to the forum and it is good that you have been able to think out the religion's flaws logically. Good for you!
I am sure it is frustrating trying to get your wife to see the sense of your logic when all she sees are ex-JWs with messed up lives. But, not every ex-JW has a messed up life, especially somebody who walks away from the religion as a mature older person. I can attest to this.
Sadly, lots of ex-JWs (especially younger born-ins) are in a bad emotional place for a time after they leave the religion and they may do unwise things. However, in time most regain their balance. Once they get their head on straight, most are glad to be done with the whole sham!
I, like you, have never been wronged by any JW that I've known. I have seen nepotism and favoritism and feel that I was "taken" by the corporation of Jehovah's Witnesses for it's methods, but have never been personally actually "burned." I wasn't DF'ed or put on restrictions or treated wrong by individuals and I try to remember that most of the people are good- even the elders.
I have some similar feelings that maybe the GB think they are doing good, but the more I learn the less I feel that way. Especially now as they make more and more moves to separate themselves into the faithful and discreet slave that should be obeyed no matter what they say.
I appreciate your great thoughts on logical fallacy, higher education, and the designer of the designer.
I had huge trouble with 1995's change in "generation" and took eleven more years to leave. But I tell you what- I would have stormed out if I had not already left when they changed it again in 2008 to "anointed," and that overlap garbage is just laughable. It is quite clear to me (and part of what I mean above about the GB not always thinking they are doing good) that these were moves to simply "delay" Armageddon more and more. Everybody knows (even if they won't admit it to others or themselves) that the overlap doctrine will eventually stretch out to the first part being born by 1914 and the overlap part being born before the entire first part died, taking them easily past 2114. The men who dreamed that up will be dead by then.
OneEyedJoe...Thank you so much for your post. I love it when people discover TTATT without blame and resentment. It was what was so appealing about the Ray Franz books.
I have to simplify your post down to one statement of yours (if I may)........ "There was simply no evidence of them ever getting anything right"
Welcome to the Forum!
OEJ
The first step here is to breath. In and out slowly and gather your situation.
Step two is do not do anything rash or quick. This may take a while. My wife is so important to me I would do whatever it takes to keep her. I don't know how you feel, but it sounds like you love her. Basically you can rip off the bandaid or you can do it hair by hair. The amazing thing is this is your choice on how to do this. Up until now you might not have much experience in making choices outside of JW rules. I would suggest a lot of thinking before a little action. I'm not telling you what to do, but this is a game off chess. Don't kill your Queen until the time comes. You only have one.
The only way I can help you is to tell you there is a bunch of people somewhere in cyber-space who are on your side here. This is kind of like finding out you have cancer. It can be hard to accept and the treatments may not be fun, but you have options and support. We only want you to be healthy.
Regards,
Defiant.
Joe, wow. Just, wow. The whole time I was reading this, I had to keep telling myself that I wasn't proofreading my own post. Your situation is exactly like mine to the tee, except I started the process about a year ago. I'm still in. I'm still learning. I've stopped going in service, but I do attend meetings regularly. I just bought Steve Hassan's latest book a week ago and it is immensely helpful. Keep us updated on your situation. I'm sure I'll find a lot of parallels between the two of us.
Hey Joe,
Welcome! And thanks for taking the time to compose a nice, well-reasoned introductory post.
... people only do it because they are puffed up with pride and want to put letters at the end of their name.
Really? How about this:
You get the idea.
There was simply no evidence of them ever getting anything right.
Amen to that!
Take your time with your wife. Slow and steady wins the race. I second jgnat's suggestion to read Hassan's book. I haven't read his most recent one, but Releasing the Bondsis a terrific read, both for someone that has recently left a cult and for anyone trying to reach a loved one still in one.
Best wishes and keep up posted about your progress.
Oubliette
Wow. Great post!
I can really relate to your story, down to the "final straw". . . .
As far as your wife, take your time, this isn't a race. At least you know TTATT when you're 29 instead of 49.
Plenty of good suggestions/advice/info here.
Welcome!
OEJ: Please seek counseling..now and as it seems you can converse with your wife include her from day one.
Bring any non jw friends into your life more. BBQ's, share going to movies then go for coffees etc.
The need so many women have for the company of other women (read 'approved' ones) is a big thing indeed and many women in TT live in real fear of what others think about them to the extent that this is a binding force on their lives.
You are a thinker ask people around who are likewise intelligent and funny,so your conversation can be intelligent up lifting witty enjoyable. Conversely get a group of jw together and the convo is so guarded and benign you can spend an evening and come away having not talked about anything. I always found it sad that to mention the politics of the day or some major happening was to invite a torrent of jehovah speak where everyone would square off like boxers and come out with a whole lot of jw speak. Frightened to have an opinion.
In fact the JW church is the 'Seinfelt' of religions.
The wt teaching that people only go for education to satisfy ego is deplorable. This is ignorance and the cultish fear that some will come out knowing more than they do it is power seeking.
May the power of love be strong in your life.
