by OneEyedJoe 80 Replies latest jw experiences
Welcome OneEyed. You are among like-minded people here. Your story could have been my story, right down to the degree in computer (programming for me), after I left "the truth."
Just be kind and understanding with your wife. This is a big belief adjustment for her and no doubt accompanied with uncertainty and fear. Reassure her that you are not going to do anything drastic.....but continue to give her teaspoonfuls of impossible WT beliefs for her to think about.
Welcome Joe ...I hope it won't be too long before
Mrs Joe joins you!
Your thoughts are right on the money! Clear & concise.
All the best to you both ...looking forward to hearing more.
clarity
Welcome to the forum. Although you may feel at loose ends, your post indicates logic and a great strength of character. Keep moving ahead in your quest of knowlege while showing love to your wife. It will unfold as it will. just move slowly. All the best....4thgen
I noticed the "rampant logical fallacy" for years and excused them for it until I could no more.
if it was the truth you shouldn't need to resort to flawed logic to convey it.
I wondered the same thing.
I found myself wondering "If this is the truth, wouldn't any apostate claims about our beliefs or the organization be easily disproven?"
For years I couldn't understand what we were supposed to be so scared of. I thought the truth should have been powerful and should have easily been able to overtake any false apostate claims.
"humans are so complex that they must have a designer" fell off when you consider that designer must have been still more complex, therefore he must himself have a designer.
Been saying that for decades. JWs apply their "design requires a designer" rule selectively. Their logic simply fails.
They got nothing right about 1914. The fact that WWI started then does not support them at all. I"m going to start a separate thread about that; been planning to.
Enjoyed your post. Be loving and patient with your wife. Keep reading here and use the tips you think will work with her.
The similarities to alot of the men around the same age that have been here in recent months is staggering. All with wives that are going to be hard to pull away, each for their own reasons.
If its any consolation, my wife has stopped attending all together, and even thoguh she wants to "research a few things" we celebrated my sons birthday and hers. So you could say she is rolling over to the dark side.
SHe was a pioneer for 16 years, married me because she thought she would be a CO's wife, we planned to be childless, we served overseas, etc... If she can get out, ANYONE can get out. It was rough. We had our moments. But it was usually because i pressed the issue.
So you are 29. Is there a reason you are not an MS? Perhaps you will have an easier time "fading" than someone who has been appointed would have. More than anything, you have to reasure her of your love for her. remember, if you have doubts, and fall away, you in her mind become something you are not. Make sure what you really are at that point, is even better than who you are now.
What part of the world are you in? I'm in southern california.
Welcome Joe, there was a lot of great advice. I was much older when I faded with my husband following me. My take is, your wife deserves to be free. Read Steven Hassen's books so you know how to help her get out. You have a lot of great years ahead of you, I only wish someone had gotten through to me before I gave away 30 years of my life.
My wife is out now Joe. It was tough... But, I used the methods recommended in the Hassan books to engage her in real person conversations. When I was talking to the real her I would ask viewpoint questions to get her thinking. If she reverted to cult mode I quit instantly. And tried again another day or later. It takes time. Go slowwwwww. But, Billy The Ex-Bethelite gave me great advice once. He said, now that you know Armageddon isn't coming slow down. Take your time. There is NOT a rush.
Things like talking about a tattoo may get her being independant? Maybe... Or showing a picture of the articles for kids in the Awake and saying "Do you think this is morbid or scary in a way?"
Just little tries. Nothing big. Don't spill your guts in a rush. Go slow. Also, be the very best husband you have ever been. Be more loving, more thoughtful, buy flowers, go to dinner, get her a card. Show her as you distance yourself from the religion a little that are even better than before.
Good luck! Best wishes.
Great post Joe,
My situation is somewhat different. I was born out and I had always been out, but I married a JW. I had been going along for 18 years until I decided to do some research about the WT. Low and behold, I dislike what I learned very much. However, getting my wife out would be a huge social shock. Almost her whole family and every friend is in. To make things worse, I am just like you, not very social. So I would be ineffective at offering an alternative network of friends to my wife. I guess the best for her is that she remains in for as long as she wants. The reason I am here, well....the site it's a bit addictive, but mainly I am here because I got two children 14 and 18 that I have to get out of the cult. Young people lives should not be sacrificed to any cult. Since you have never mentioned any children, then, just as other people have implied, just take it easy.
To OneEyedJoe and those who see a bit of themselves in OEJoe: First, welcome! You honor us by your presence here.
OEJoe said, and probably many others feel similarly, that he feels no anger against the WTB&TS or Jehovah's Witnesses.
THAT is because you are still captives of the Borg, most likely to a greater degree than you can now imagine. You are going along with the Watchtower's teaching that anger against "God's people" is wrong. Can you see this? No, probably not... yet.
YOU HAVE BEEN LIED TO, AND THE LIARS ARE TELLING YOU THAT YOU OWE THEM A MEASURE OF CIVILITY; THAT YOU MUST FOLLOW THEIR RULES OF BEHAVIOR.
YOU have been wronged.
YOU are the injured party.
Once you come face-to-face with this incontrovertable FACT, you will find an almost overwhelming surge of energy - energy that, if you are wise, you will use to continue the work of the O so great a crowd of APOSTATES who no man could number, who have cleared a bit of the path that YOU have now begun to walk. Contribute your energy into making that path even more clear to those who will come after you in five, or ten, or twenty-five years.
The S. S. Watchtower is a sinking ship, but LOOK! There are men, women and children who need to be rescued! First though you must SAVE YOURSELF, then the one closest to you. You have started that work: continue it!
Advertise, ADVERTISE, ADVERTISE that they are LIARS!
