Hello. I am fairly new here as well and it took me ages to sign up then I ran away from the computer scared as could be. My family are not aware that I am doing this and they are already wary of me for not being conventional, so I understand your "lurking". I have been taught all about these evil apostate sites and found out that they were not that at all. Sure there are some very angry people out there, but I have found some really great sites too. Try Berean Pickets. They are really good at analysing each weeks WT without fear of retribution. That site along with this one, has started my confidence to go on the rise after so much devastation to my beliefs and emotions of late. I found very little kindness in the org, and have stayed away from the meetings more or less for the last year after too many nasty critical people could not let up on me for the way I dressed, the way I wore my hair, Even the drawings that I do!!!!
Have courage. I have not had anyone hurt me on this site and I'm positive you will be safe.
Kind thoughts to you