After twelve years, hubby has finally exited the Witnesses. I am cautiously optimistic that this exit will stick. A little while back he took me aside for a serious talk (first serious talk ever, I think) and solemnly told me he's decided to go inactive. I did not express an opinion one way or another, but I advised him that he should not just not do nothing. He should find an activity to fill his days, as he so wisely did after his first divorce. He's taking my advice to heart and signed up for classes this week. I'm building on a positive experience and as an experiential learner, he needs a personal example to latch on to.
What worked?
- Encouraging his natural personality at every turn, reminding him of his history, dreams, hobbies and preferences.
- A two-year stint in a remote community with limited exposure to the meetings.
- Proving by word and deed that I was in his corner, even if that meant staying with the Witnesses.
- Introducing him to stellar "apostates". I am forever grateful to Blondie, her husband Irreverent, Bikerchic and her now passed Onacruse, Simon, Angharad, and IloveTTATT.
- Befriending many regular people. Most influential were my Wicca neighbours.
- Giving him the space to make up his own mind.