Thanks. We do still go to a few meetings and the assemblies so as to keep contact with our "in" family for now. They haven't shunned us. But the elders seem to have given up and only really bother us except to ask for time.
New & Anxious
by SecretHeart11 63 Replies latest members private
-
-
KateWild
Welcome SecretHeart,
Well done for your first post, thank you for sharing. So far it seems you have an openess with your husband and he is responding to your little nuggets.
You obviously can't stay where your are now, you need to move on and find the best way to do that that will be best for your family. Please keep us informed, learning TTATT has it's own set of challenges so we can be here for support.
Take care Kate xx
-
franticfran
Welcome SH11.. Its going to be just fine! I agree with all of the above comments,take your time,do nothing in a hurry or on impulse,just quietly resolve to add to your knowledge of how you CAN survive in the real world,I can remember my very first posting here, I was so scared and it was Flipper who welcomed me and encouraged me,all the people here are realy kind and supportive,I am always saying it here,but this forum has been a life saver for me and continues to underline the fact that I made the right decision to get out of that controlling and destuctive organisation,so dont be scared it will work out. Good Luck.
-
tornapart
Hi secretheart, I feel for you! I found myself in this position two years ago. My hubby is an elder, my children grown. All of them know of my feelings. Fortunately they've been very understanding but it doesn't make it any easier. I still go to meetings, although not often anymore and I've managed to reduce my FS to almost nothing. It's hard but do-able. It takes a lot of patience, a lot of keeping the mouth zipped and many times you'll find your anxiety levels soaring. Try not to say too much, drop little 'seeds' whenever you can, things you know your hubby will agree with. Use your health, physical or emotional, as reasons for not doing things. Just don't do anything too suddenly, it's a very, very slow process if you want to keep ypur family intact.
-
jgnat
Hi, secretheart, I see your message. I am glad my posts have encouraged you. All the best to your family.
-
rebel8
welcome and good luck on your journey
you can do this! It will be ok.
Here is something you may find interesting.
**** w1881 february pg. 188 ****
If we were following a man undoubtedly it would be different with us; undoubtedly one human idea would contradict another and that which was light one or two or six years ago would be regarded as darkness now: But with God there is no variableness, neither shadow of turning, and so it is with truth; any knowledge or light coming from God must be like its author. A new view of truth never can contradict a former truth. “New light” never extinguishes older “light,”
but adds to it. If you were lighting up a building containing seven gas jets you would not extinguish one every time you lighted another, but would add one light to another and they would be in harmony and thus give increase of light: So is it with the light of truth; the true increase is by adding to, not by substituting one for another. -
-
Gypsy Sam
Welcome! How nice that you woke up while your children are young. You'll be able to love them unconditionally and help them logically prepare for a cult free future.
-
LisaRose
Welcome New&Anxious, glad you found this site. I hope you are able to convince your husband, I think you have a good chance. The trick is to be very patient, even someone who has doubts will sometimes revert to cult mode and start throwing up defences, the cult conditioning is so strong. It might take years, but don't give up, it can be done.
I have been out for quite some time, it's hard for me now to imagine why it took me so long to figure it out, but they just keep you feeling obliged and guilty, they had me trapped. When I left I didn't have JWN or anything like that, I just knew I couldn't do it any more. I thought that if there was a God, he couldn't possibly want me to live like that, or if he did he wasn't the kind of God I wanted to worship. I thought the GB were sincere, but misled. How naive I was!
It wasn't until eight years later that I found this site and learned TTATT (The Truth about The Truth). It was a relief to know it really was just a pack of lies, but it also made me mad that it was so deliberate, that they hid their history, that they protected child molesters.
I was in for thirty years, but now it all just seems like a bad dream, I have a whole new life, I am happier than I ever thought I would be.
I wish the same for you.
-
highroad
Welcome SecretHeart. My heart goes out to you... It sounds like you and I are in the same boat. My husband has also been irregular to meetings, yet has no doubt at all that JW's have "The Truth". Sounds like you are doing things right by sharing little things here and there. It can be so hard to keep from unloading everything all at once. Keep us updated and feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to. I wish you the best!