by Sanysfriend 95 Replies latest members private
She could also try teaching her daughter some things while she still can. For example, she can find (online) scans and quotes of Watchtower Society literature saying they have always had the truth and as such could never contradict themselves. Read that and ask if the daughter believes that. You will get a yes.
Ok then, now read the quote (I believe from the 1940s) that says excommunication/shunning is unChristian and unBiblical.
Hi Sany and friend,
Wow, that's truly a tragic story, as you raised them to do exactly what they are now doing.
It's not much, but if anything, you should get some sense of cold comfort in at least understanding WHY they are shunning you now, fully understanding the dynamic at work which you spent decades inculcating (indoctrinating) into them. Sure, the JWs are based on a HUGE LIE, but at least they are standing up for what they truly believe is right. It's not like they're out commiting thefts, whacked out on drugs, etc...
Fortunately, you are out now, and YOU now have the freedom to learn TTATT, so perhaps you can prepare for when/if they eventually become receptive to learning it, too (which is going to be tough, esp if you are already shunned by them).
Adam
Sany - tragic situation!
Suggestion: Don't send an enveloped letter to daughters 1 & 2 (betrayed by their mother - they believe - or by their trust in their mother - you currently believe). Send a postcard - message highly visible, easily legible, with the following:
"Matthew 7:9-11
Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"
Dear [daughter], as you know, I have always given you the best "bread" and "fish" that I knew to find - at any given time - from your infancy!
Do not imagine that I would offer you anything less than the best 'nourishment' that I can find, even now, when you are an adult... but still my child!
If I had filled your childhood's hunger with white bread and fishsticks, but discovered that I was mistaken in my understanding of nutrition, pride would not have stopped me from admitting my error, and correcting your diet - with whole grains, vegetables and fresh foods... such is a mother's love.
I have not changed."
Maybe, you can capture their feel of the natural bond, and hook their curiosity to hear the rest. Or, at the least, to hear you out.
Wow. She (Sany (Shannon)) hasnt seen any of this since she posted but me as an outsider looking in is truly thankful for the comments. After the first two I told her she needed to look at this (she didnt know I got on the site and registered,(took me two days)) as I felt the advise would help. She saw it and responded even though the last couple days she hasnt felt up to talking about JW stuff. Thank you for the advise. Way better than I can or have given her. thank you, Greg
First of all I am astonished and blessed by the advice! Thank you Greg for relaying my position! With that being said I now realize I have continued to try and relate to my daughters as a JW trying to respect their beliefs...ones that my eyes have been opened too!!!!You have all given me "food at the proper time" for I know that when Jesus died the Mosaic Law Covenant was done away with and we were instructed by HIM, the one that laid his life down for us to live by the law of love!!!! The Israelites had to follow all the laws and regulations brought upon them by man! No wonder they were no longer God's chosen people!!! Who could stand up to those laws!!! So he sent his son to give us the example! I have no doubt that he would have spoken to us all and never shunned us!!!
JW's fight for freedom of religion yet they give no freedom to those that chose to leave!!!I I only expect the Freedom he gave us! I know how to live under the Law of love and do so everyday! Because it is not MY place to tell anyone what to believe...but I do need to ask questions!!! That is what will make her think!!!!
It is as if JW took the Mosaic Law Covenant back off the stake/cross and just kept adding to it....I love the post card idea!!!
I am going to read all your comments again...you give me hope at a time when I felt defenseless and lost but hey....I am still in this!!! I am a bit overwhelmed...but I need these thoughts and suggestions as you all know!!!!
This is all so sad, but the real truth will come out sooner or later.
The real truth cannot change.
Hang on and hope for your daughters to grow up. They will need you one day.
Well I will of course be here for them but it is just torture if I have to wait very long. Afterall, I did not leave until I myself was 36. I don't even want to consider having to wait until I am in my 60's or older to wait for them to wake up. So much will have been missed. However, I really do not feel I have a chance with my oldest but possibly my younger one that is leaving me next month. She is much more free spirited like myself and delves deeper into the way she considers and feels for others as well as wants to be able to accomplish much more in life. I know that she is still very faithful and never even held hands with a boy let alone anything else. But, she wants to travel, she is extremely artistic and musically talented. So many things that I hope will at least want her to see what else is out there in the world for her to find.....she loves to travel like myself and is always interested in others and what they do or have done in life. Just not me of course lol.....
I work for a school and will be off the next couple of weeks and think that I am going to make a sort of memory box for her....a scrap book of sorts. Pictures of us through the years, copies of letters I wrote to her in life, a letter or poem, and lastly a short but well thought out page or two of some very good points for her to ponder and possibly a website or two that she could go to on her own if she ever so desired. I at the same time fear that she will see me as the Apostate that she has been taught however, and throw it all away and believe that for sure my chance for Everlasting Life is gone!!!
but, I guess I cannot let all my fears guide me either....its either do or die....give her the info and the heartfelt love of a mother or nothing at all. With my oldest I really did try to make her see that it was not the true religion she believed it to be....but she reamained truly steadfasst in her beliefs. But, Sierra in one conversation actually said in tears, "Then show me in the bible where it is not the truth!".....I was so stunned and had not prepared to be able to show her from the bible.....if I had the opportunity to hit on say 3 specific points what points would you suggest I point out and what scriptures would you use to prove it. Remember that she is 18 so very youthful.....I have hit on the whole we should be living under the law of love bit far to many times and need more info to possibly get a bite from her.
The memory box is a great idea. When my son was in his twenties and I was not sure if he would find his way or even if he might contemplate suicide, I made up a memory binder for him and his sister. I feared his delusions would lead him to thinking he had no family and nobody who loved him. My worst fears did not come true and for the past six years my son calls me every day. I think he lost the binder, though. My daughter loved hers and has continued to maintain it since.
I suggest you spread out the contents of the memory box before you send it, and take a videotape of it. Just in case it is destroyed in a fit of conscience.
change phone numbers.
move to a different city.
have an attorney send a letter to the body of elders of emancipation.
go to therapy.
enjoy fresh air.
Any grandchildren yet, Backseatdevil?
