Resigned being an elder (page 7)

tiki

welcome, congrats - and best to you! i hope your distancing yourself from the org will work smoothly. be smart!

Congrats suby and welcome. Contribute to the board, you will be surprised who it helps. I am glad your wife has not judged you, and you should tread carefully. The more I read new ones here, the more I hear my own story told and retold. I mean EXACTLY told and retold. it is kind of amazing, and lets you know you aren't crazy when your indoctrination kicks in from time to time.

So here is my question if you don't mind. What was it that broguht you to this decision? What did you have a problem with that was too big to turn your brain off about?

Take care man.

DaCheech

great, now you won't be responsible when someone sues your congregation!!!!

the Society uses everyone for only 2 goals: slaving yourself and $$$$$$

good luck!

btw, I gave up my position as well, and my wife know about all my doubs............. just wants me to go to meeting to keep family peace

flipper

SUBYTREK - Welcome to the board my friend. You are among friends who have been through similar trials and similar challenges. Congratulations on seeking your freedom of mind. Hopefully in time your wife will join you too. Just be patient, it takes time. We'll be here as a support to you friend

subytrek

To problemaddict - I'm not sure if there was any one thing that started me having doubts. But, thinking back I guess it could be traced back to one day I met a householder who knew about 1975 and called the FDS the false prophet. Being not even born at that time I defended the org. as best I could but she had printed out info. from the Internet that backed up what she said and would not back down. Later, I did what research I could using the orgs. material which was pretty much just a few paragraphs in the Proclaimer's book that even there admitted that they published statements stronger than warranted. To me that was significant. But, I wanted more info.

So, my curiosity overcame my fear of so-called apostate websites. I figured the truth could stand up to lies so I came on here and other sites to learn more. I also started realizing the treadmill we are put on as Witnesses was just too much. And I really wondered if that was God really required. Once I started down that path it just seemed that more and more was exposed. The elder schools that didn't really equip me to handle people's problems but only to cover the org's butt. I found out about the Candace Conti case here first. Then I saw a short little news blurb on the jw media website which showed the case was real. Having a 9 month old girl myself I started wondering how could God accept that in his org?

That's when I wanted to step down as an elder and not have any responsibility legally or otherwise since I saw that could happen. The last elder school showed me they were still holding to the 2 witness rule and to call legal first instead of the police when child abuse is reported. I resolved in my heart to call the police first if ever confronted with that situation. Even my wife, who works in school and still believes, said that was wrong.

So, with all the pressure, burden, and the feeling that being an elder is a full time job on top of the full time job I already have and with my doubts I stepped down. I hope I can continue to do less and less.

problemaddict

Thanks for sharing that suby. Its intersting that so many of us are not doing what we are told apostates do. We are told those falling away are "mentally diseased", and revert back to the "world" from whence they came to smoke crack and have all the orgys they can handle While they last).

Here you and basically myself as well (we are about the same age), are born in, move up in the congregation, and end up having doubts because of common sense things. i also have a young child around the age as yours. Weird right? i spoke with a friend of mine the other day, and he said he noticed alot of people leaving in their late 20's to late 30's. Interesting that is the time you start to have kids and think of family on a different level.

I was an online JW apologist. I defended everything imaginable. I tried to do so kindly, and appreciated and studied under some other apologists. Here is what did it for me initially.

Blood. The current stance on blood is indefensible. Making people chose between being disfellowshipped, or seeing a loved one die is just evil at best. From a biblical standpoint, it can't be defended. From a POLICY standpoint with what we allow and don't allow.....it can't be defended. Once (like you), I started giving up the notion that I had to defend every "attack" as a lie, I learned most of them were not. My empathy and desire to live an authentic life kicked in.

Do not be surprised, if your mind does a few back flips here and there. Its a process. Stick around, PM if you need help or feel like talking, don't reveal too much, and take care of your family.

Problemaddict out!

Think About It

Welcome Subytrek. Many x-elders here. You made the right decision. Enjoy your family, your new life and the wonderful opportunities that it will bring.

JakeM2012

Subytrek, Welcome to the forum, I congratulate you on the course you have taken. I also served as an elder and when word gets around that you are not serving anymore, it is interesting how people will treat you as insignificant, even invisible. There will be attempts to try to encourage you to serve again for awhile.

My wife has not gone to a meeting for a few years and is concerned about the problems if/when her parents find out. We have had very frank discussions about TTATT, and while I can say she agrees, I believe she is an apologist and I know I can't push the discussion much, just be content with where we're at.

I admire it that you woke up so early, I wish that I had, it would have saved me 20 years. Welcome again.

Ding

Subytrek,

For those of us who lived through the 1975 fiasco, there was a 180 degree shift in the organization.

From 1966 on (Life Everlasting in Freedom of the Sons of God), all the organization could write about was the importance of 1975.

If you didn't believe that date would bring Armageddon and the new system, you were spiritually weak at best.

After it came to nothing, suddenly 1975 was of no importance at all.

After that, if you did talk about 1975, you were suspected of apostasy.

TonyT

Welcome Subytrek.

Its good to see them lose another cult member.

Resigned being an elder

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